Post # 62
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
Am I the only one who theorizes the bigger/louder/flashier the proposal, the worse the marriage? lol maybe I’m just bitter and crazy, but it seems like sometimes they’re almost trying too hard…or the girl they are trying to impress has watched too much TLC. Either way lol
We do have a video of our engagement moment, but that’s because our friend was there to capture it all. I thought he was recording the fireworks, as it was a NYE proposal. It was cold, we were bundled up to our eyebrows, (Old Montreal, -25 before the wind chill), and we raced back to the hotel to thaw out immediately after… but it was beautiful and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
It’s not the story that matters, but the other person in it. My DH is a wonderful man, and I love that he made me freeze my @$$ off for nearly an hour before proposing lol it was awesome. Your story is yours, just like your love it yours, so embrace it. <3
Post # 63
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
@BrideofGroomzilla: Honestly I hate those over the top dramatic YouTube proposals. Getting engaged is a personal and private thing, and I totally disagree with others being around and getting filmed and all that. I also hate flashmobs in general. It’s not supposed to be a show. I got engaged in my FI’s car on the side of a country road and it was just perfect. I wouldn’t have wanted to share the moment with anyone other than him so I really appreciated that.
Post # 64
Member
37 posts
Newbee
My hope is to make you feel better by offering you a gentle way to not feel dissapointed and instead cherish the moment by seeing it differently.
Just my opinion of course….
An important aspect of loving someone is accepting them just as they are- warts and all. We create our own dissapointment by placing our false expectations upon them to behave in a way they may not be capable of.
?? What if he really tried and his effort was the best HE could do for you?
…which is why you love him; just as he is -warts and all. 
Post # 65
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
@PositiveThinking I totally understand
@SummerOfLove I love flashmobs. I would have been embarassed but I would have loved the thought and creativity. That would have been a great story LOL
@odaspal You’re right. I think I did put some false expectations and fell hard on the reality. Now I work hard to see HIM and not expect the fairy tale. I try and encourage his small efforts, so he’ll gain confidence and try for more thoughtful things…so he knows that they are appreciated.
@lilFaithy I love that story
There have been a ton of great stories on here, but most seem to end with “perfect for us” or “I wouldn’t change a thing”. I think the disappointment for me was that this wasn’t perfect for me and I would change everything. It SUCKED pretty bad. I didn’t expect glamour or anything over the top, but I did want something thoughtful and creative.
I later found (after this post) that he’d already done “OVER THE TOP, FLASHY, ROMANTIC & PLANNED OUT & THOUGHTFUL “with a previous relationship that went bust. Turns out he was still explaining to folks that were there or who heard about it, that they ultimately didn’t get married, had broke up and each moved on years later.
So he didn’t want to go through the same embarrasment if things didn’t work out with us. Having been through a broken engagement myself…I somewhat understood. He knows how disappointed I am ( especially to know that someone got a better one). Now I know he’s capable…just scarred.
Now everyone knows I”m engaged and nobody asked for a story anymore. I don’t think too much about it, and for our 10 yr he’s promised a bigger ring, a better re-proposal and a destination wedding. I think I can live with that.
Post # 66
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
I love this thread! My proposal was perfectly “us”. We had been talking about it forever, and he kept saying that he wanted to make it amazing, but I’m an impatient little spitfire – so I got my own ring (we had already decided on a CZ stand in, we’re trying to buy our 1st house), handed it to him, and told him that if he wanted to marry me, he had until our 3 yr. anniversary to ask me (about 6 mos.). It wasn’t as “ultimatium” as you may think… He paid for the ring, we had already started making tentative wedding plans, and were buying a home together.
We had gotten a kitten for our anniversary about a week before, so on the day of (Halloween) we decided to stay home with the pets. He cooked steaks (his specialty – yum!) and we cuddled on the couch with full bellies and a movie. Finally, around 11pm, I gave up and headed to bed with no proposal. He headed in soon after, and I was in bed trying to hide that I was crying. He asked what was wrong, didn’t I have a good night, etc.? I said yes, everything was wonderful. Then he said what’s wrong, was there something missing? I wasn’t about to say anything, no way! He laughed and started talking, saying his sweet things and then asking me to be his wife – and I’m sniffling, crying, laughing, and kissing him, all at once. Then he stopped and said look at the time… it was 11:59pm. So, I punched him in the arm, he put the ring on my finger, and we went to sleep with the dog and cat cuddled up with us, and smiles on our faces.
Post # 67
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
I have not read one proposal story on this thread that I didn’t like! I think my proposal was romantic, but not over the top. I think funny, sweet, cute, and personal proposals are all wonderful. I just watched a proposal that was very much in public that made me cry. I noticed that the guy put the ring on the wrong hand. That is why I should not see those things, haha! I notice too darn much. Elaborate proposals do not mean that the man loves that woman anymore (assuming the couple is hetero, but you get my drift). Please don’t compare aspects of your relationship to others. Some of these waiting bees on here would take proposal while brushing their teeth and they were asked with a freaking twist tie. It is wonderful to have a an that loves you enough to want you to be his wife, just be greatful for what you have, which a whole lot!
Post # 68
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
In the months before we got engaged, my fella and I had of course talked about marriage, and every so often when we’d be cuddling or something he’d ask me, “Will you marry me someday?”, and I’d be like, “Yeah, sure!” Other times I’d be the one doing the asking, and he’d reply, “Of course I’ll marry you!” It was just something cute and sweet that we’d say to each other.
My Fiance works 3rd shift and I work 1st shift, so usually when he gets home from work I’m still in bed. Back in August, on a Monday morning, he comes home from work at his normal time. I’m laying naked in bed, half asleep, and he comes in and lays down beside me as usual. We lay there for a few minutes and I’m slowly drifting back to sleep when he goes, “Will you marry me?”, and of course I’m like, “Yeah, sure sweetie. (zzzz)” It wasn’t until he moved my hand onto a ring box on the bed between us that I realized he was actually, for real proposing to me. Naturally I woke up pretty quickly after that. 🙂
The only bad part was having to get ready and go to work afterward – but I was pretty much on cloud 9 that entire day. When I told my co-workers what had happened that morning, one of them said, “Well that’ll get rid of a case of the Mondays!” Yes, yes it did. 🙂
Post # 69
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
We are not married yet but I guess as I’ve gotten “older” and grown both as a person and in my relationship I’ve come to the realization that who my SO is he would never do the whole overly romantic over the top proposal. Heck 90% of the time I pick my own flowers out for special dates or I give him this side eye glance at the grocery store and he does this kind of like “okay go ahead pick out what you want” if I want flowers or when it comes to anything really. I am also planner where he is not. We’ve had a wedding set(for me, engagement ring & wedding band) for several years because we got a good deal. After I had major surgery & he turned 33 in September we started talking about a family and we are both on the same page that we will start trying in May and be married around then/same time. So it was kind of a mutual decision. I don’t need to embellish it or anything and I’m perfectly happy with it. Everyone & every relationship has their own story and as long as you are happy with yours it doesn’t need to be a huge over the top thing or hell it can be. All that matters is you are with who you want to be & you are happy with that.
Post # 70
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
I had a botched proposal to top any I’ve heard of.
He came home from work one day, and said I should close my eyes because he had a surprise for me. Then he slipped the ring on my finger, went and updated his facebook status to engaged. Seriously.
Me: Are you updating your facebook status? I haven’t called anyone yet. You haven’t even asked me yet!
Even at the time I thought it was kind of funny, but it would have been a whole lot funnier if it hadn’t been shortly followed by a barrage of calls from upset relatives (including my parents!) asking if I was really engaged and why they heard it from facebook before me, and of course asking how he propsed.
Post # 71
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Personally, I think every proposal is romantic when the people involved are in love and happy about it.
These over-the-top hyped proposals lack authenticity, in a way, at least to me. Life isn’t like that– why would a proposal be?
Post # 72
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
i say “i bullied him into it”.
we have a 2 yr old daughter, been together for almost 4 years now. I basically told him put a ring on it or im going to find somebody who will. hah!
He gave me a budget, I picked the ring I wanted. When we got it he didn’t give it to me for about a month. so one day i said “gosh, I really want to wear that XXXX dollar ring thats just sitting in our closet”
He handed me the box. no word said.
pretty romantic eh? /sarcasm.
Post # 73
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
I love each and every one of these stories because they are all unique! I think the moment of proposal will always be a special one- the moment that nothing else seems quite so important except you and your Fiance. No flashmob required!!
I’m not even sure my “proposal” even counts as a proposal- but I will never forget the day we’re sitting on the couch and Fiance says “you know I want to marry you, right?”
Well actually I didn’t know! It took us another month or so to start looking for rings… so I guess that was my “proposal!”
Post # 74
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
It’s no wonder so many women are waiting for proposals.
These guys are probably terrified to propose because theyre afraid that way they ask will never be good enough with all the “high expectation” proposal wants I read about on here.
What ever happened to his asking being good enough?
Post # 75
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
Before my now Fiance engaged we had a discussion about dream proposals and I he asked me for some inspiration because he was unromantic. I said it was good to pick somewhere where we are both happy and comfortable and doing something we enjoy. He had said something about wanting to just do it out of no where like proposing while in bed watching a movie at his parents house (we’re a young in college/recently out of college couple) and I basically told him hell no on that one. I hate being at his parents house, I can’t stand the smell of his mom smoking like a chimney and yelling upstairs because she’s constantly drunk. I told him that is NOT a place I enjoy being and that would not be alright in my book at all.
He was hurt originally by this, but then he completely understood and asked for other ideas. I told him I enjoy being ourdoors, I love winter, I love night time under the stars things like that. So he surprised me that night by taking me ice fishing in -30 degree temps here in Minnesota on New Years Eve. We bought a bottle of wine (no glasses) and were just sitting there fishing, and he got down on the ground, pretended to be doing something with the fishing poles, then turned on his headlamp and looked up at me and blinded me while he reached in his pocket. After I chewed him out for blinding me with his headlamp he turned it off and he was on one knee with the ring and said, “Even if we don’t catch any fish, would you keep me as your keeper?”
It ended up being the best night of my life and incredibly romantic. When he had told his brother his idea, he’s like, “you’re going to propose while ice fishing? Lame.” But it was perfect, perfect for us. I used to think I’d love a sunset proposal, where I have nice hair, dressed up, maybe at a vineyard… But that wouldn’t be true to us. No makeup, unstyled hair, snowpants, cuddle duds, snowmobile jackets, and clunky ice boots was us. Lol… I guess you just have to see it in a positive light no matter what it is. He tried and that’s what matters!
Post # 76
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
Vionnet Wow!! Nothing kills the moment like a FB status update LOL
tinkerbish I don’t think you were being a bully. I think you had requirements and you were being direct. Some men needed that ( including my FI). Unfortunately for us it also killed the romance.
Ellicott LOL. I hear that a lot.