Post # 1
I thought maybe there was a petite board coming, but I couldn’t find it to post this, so 20’s is where it next best fits I suppose?
I’m tiny, we’re talking barely 5 foot. And I’m 21. So I realize that I look 16, but most wedding professionals I meet with don’t take me seriously from the start.
I went in to a local florist recently and asked about wedding florals. The lady completely blew me off and said they don’t have time to stop and talk, they’re very busy, and that I would have to make an appointment to talk wedding flowers. Well, what did she think I was there to do? So I smiled and made an appointment. The lady seemed flabbergasted that I wanted to actually make an appointment. Suddenly she became sweet as honey to me.
This hasn’t been my only indcident of the like. I’ve had so many wedding pro’s talk to me like I’m 6 years old, blow me off, patronize me, etc. And the ones who come around only do so if I ask millions of pointed and knowledgeable questions. So I’ve started dressing in suits and such to even go into florists’ shops or do anything wedding related to avoid the lack of being taken seriously.
I don’t understand why any wedding pro would ever treat a bride like this, 16 or 35. Aren’t we all there to spend money on them? Has anyone else encountered this problem? It really irritates me and has even been hitting at my emotions lately. How would you suggest handling this? Is there something I can do from appearance or the very beginning to get them to take me seriously?
Post # 3
I’m having a hard time trying to get estimates for venues and whatnot,by myself, so I usually have to bring the Boy with me (he’s a little older).
When you use terms like “like” and “um,” people just assume that you’re a young, and that can only mean two things to them: 1) you’re only looking cause you’re too young to get married or 2) because you are so young, you’re probably getting married to some old rich guy = kaching!
In any case, I just tell myself that they’re bitter because I am young and in love 😛
Post # 4
Oh. My. Freaking. Goodness.
To say I know how you feel would be an understatement. People constantly think I’m 12 or younger (I’m also 5′ exactly, and I’m turning 20 this month) – last month, someone assumed I was FFIL’s granddaughter and he’s only 50.
People laugh at me, think I’m adorable, think that I’m naive, that I’m not serious and I don’t know what I want or am talking about, etc every single day until they get to know me. They think it’s okay to say rude things just because it’s surprising to them. So far, I haven’t met wedding vendors in person, but I’m quite sure I’ll get the same reaction that I do every other day.
Post # 5
Sooner…I get that, too. I’m 5’0 and I don’t wear make-up. I’m often mistaken for a teenager (I’m 29.) Tip:
1) Call them to set up an appt. Then, when you show up, they can’t just blow you off.
2) Bring a “spreadsheet” or notebook & calculator and take notes while they talk. That way, they know you’re serious.
3) If they have crappy customer service, put it up on yelp.com or on weddingbee.com. That’ll warn other brides not to go there. Hey….if they want business, they better treat customers respectfully.
On a brighter note:
This “looking young” problem will become “flattery” when we turn 60ish or so. =)
Post # 6
I haven’t gotten this from vendors because I’m young looking, but trying to talk to them at the bridal show and over e-mail when I was living in Portland and trying to plan was horrible as none of them would take me seriously whenever I mentioned that i was planning for a 2011 wedding in 2009. I also got a hard time just for asking for a price breakdown from a few different vendors because theirs was a more inclusive package.
Post # 7
Anyone who blows you off isn’t worth having as a vendor!
Post # 8
Wow I hear you both on this one! I’m 5’2″ and 21, and people constantly think I’m young. When people meet me, they assume I’m in high school, even though I’m almost finished with my graduate degree!
My professor in my first speech class in college ACTUALLY told me that no one will take me seriously because I’m too “cute”. He also told me that unless I learn to deepen my voice, I will never be respected in my field (I’m a scientist). The sad thing is, I know he is right! There is a stigma against small girls, especially in male-dominated professions like the Sciences. That doesn’t mean it’s okay though!
I don’t have much advice, I just wanted to sympathize with you 🙁 I have found that wearing heels and dressing up (even if you dress a little older than you are) helps a lot. There is no way to get around it though, because people often go on first impression. My advice is to put everything out there immediately or to come with your FH so vendors know right off the bat that you are serious.
And maybe try deepening your voice!!!! :eyeroll: 😉 Good luck!
Post # 9
Neato…you can tell that professor (in a deep voice if he prefers)….to shove it up his ***! I’m sure he’ll understand that….what w/ his extensive education and all. Those 1-syllable words would be “cute” enough for him, wouldn’t they?
Post # 10
I have the same problem, usually I call first as I have according to a PR rep ‘a very professional manner’ and that gets them to take me seriously, and also asking pointed questions. when I rock up I wear heels (even tho im a ballet flat kind of girl) and my business suits.
Because Im 24 and constantly being mistaken for a 16/17 year old, I do that for my first meeting and then after that, I wear what I want.
Im older than FH and he gets taken more seriously for an intial meeting than me.
Anyway. It sucks. But I reckon when were 60 people are going to think we are in our early 40s so meh. It evens out in the end!
Post # 11
It’s not just short girls! I’m 5’10 & 23 and the other day someone thought I was my brothers younger sister…he’s 15 (he’s also 6’5, but come on!)
Post # 12
I am 5’2″ and 23 years old (and look like I’m 12). I have had to learn how to basically come across as being “older” for my job (I’m a doctor of pharmacy student – who wants to take advice from a to-be pharmacist that looks like they are 12…)
Anyways, when meeting with wedding professionals, I would
- Call ahead of time to schedule an appointment.
- Wear business casual clothes – no jeans and sweatshirts
- Bring a specific list of questions with you and have the papers in some type of folder (basically show that you are prepared)
- Make a strong introduction “Hi. I’m Eva and I believe I spoke with you on the phone recently. I am hear to discuss xyz.”
- Be conscientious of your choice of language – try to be concise and to the point when speaking and minimize the use of “filler” words (um, like, etc.)
- Remember that body language is also important – look at the person directly, shake hands if appropriate, stand/ sit straight, don’t fidget, chew gum (the list goes on and on)
Sorry if I reposted what anyone else had recommended as well!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
That’s nuts. I agree with @Eva: it helps to act “older” to overcome their impression that you’re too young to be someone who is seriously planning a wedding.
Post # 14
I agree, you shouldn’t use anyone as a vendor that blows you off. However, if you *recently went into the florist, I’m not too surprised they blew you off without an appointment. Valentine’s day is their big money time for the entire year, so they are slammed, and I made an appointment before ever showing up. (though, I have asked ?s over the phone…)
Post # 15
These are all great suggestions, but honestly, I don’t think they even make a dent. I’ve actually had people say to me “but you sounded so mature on the phone!”
They’ll think what they want to – I’ve never used “like” “um” etc, and it’s never made a difference. :/
Post # 16
I’m a recent MOB and I am 4’11, and it is lousy when you’re young, but guess what! I will be 50 this year, and people still think I am much younger, so we’ll all have the last laugh!!! Chin up-BTW-I wouldn’t do business with someone who blows me off either!