Post # 1
So I’m getting married in 1 month. 1. Month. Nobody seems to be excited in any way for it. I feel like my mom and I are planning the WHOLE THING. My fiance is helping where he can but he admits he’s in way over his head with this whole planning thing and just agrees with whatever I say. Some things I’m more than angry about.
1. My father. He doesn’t like my fiance for who knows why. Maybe because he’s athiest. I don’t know, but I don’t see how it could be any of his business since he hasn’t been a part of my life for the past 20 years. Suddenly I’m getting married so he has to be in everything.
2. I’m getting married on the beach, so I’m trying to rent a condo. I got a ridiculously cheap condo with the wedding party all together. It ends up being about $70 a person for the whole thing. Good price right? Well it seems as though everyone has forgotten that they need to actually pay for this and I have only 1 person who paid me for it so far. There’s 8 people staying. No matter how much I annoy them about what they need to pay to chip in for the condo that they agreed to, they just brush it off. I gotta pay for this in 3 weeks. I need the money NOW. They’ve known about it for 2 months now.
3. I’m getting married on the beach and my fiances family hates it. They ask me every time I’m around them “Why don’t you get married in a nice church?” “Shouldn’t you be getting married in a church?” “It’d be much nicer if you got married in a church.” Well, I’ve had a beach wedding on my mind since I was a toddler, and gosh darn it I’m getting married on the beach! Get over it! It’s what we both want, and it’s our wedding.
4. I’m supposed to be picking up my bridesmaids dresses and wedding dress on Monday. Big deal right? Apparently not. Only 1 of my 3 bridesmaids (not even the maid of honor) ended up making plans on that day even though they knew about this since January. JANUARY! 4 MONTHS AGO!
5. I’m not having a bachelorette party. Not my choice, I wanted one. But I told my maid of honor that her only job was to throw me a bachelorette party. Months go by and I remind her every now and then. Now… to late. I need 3 weeks notice to ask off for work and that time is getting shorter and shorter for the party. even my fiance has bugged her about it on my behalf. Petty problem I know, but I wanted one. So did the other 2 bridesmaids, and I haven’t told them the news yet. They keep asking me and I defer them to the maid of honor who is slacking, but they never do. She said she feels bad and she’ll make it up to me after the wedding, but it’s not the same.
Well… that was a nice rant. Maybe things will get better, but I needed a nice wedding planning meltdown moment. Thanks for reading!
Post # 4
If the other 2 girls want a party for you then maybe they would be willing to do it. I think you should tell them ASAP and hopefully that will work out.
As for the rest…just tell everyone it’s your (you and FI) wedding and you will do what you want to make your day special for the two of you…that you hope they will attend and show their support but in the end it’s about the two of you!
Post # 5
Actually I think it’s a little strange that your bridal party is expected to pay for the condo. That’s like asking them to pay for the church so they have a room to get ready in. It’s just the cost of a beach wedding. That may be why no ones wanted to pay yet,they may feel it’s out of line. Maybe not but I thought I should tell you what might be up with that. As far as your dad, yeah he has no say anymore and yes your moh slacked 🙁
Post # 6
I agree with the pp, why don’t the other 2 bridesmaids throw you a bachelorette party since they want you to have one? And do you work evenings? Is that why you need advance notice to take off? What if one of your bridesmaids or your Fiance contacted your boss and let them know it was a surprise and asked if you would be able to have the evening off?
As for the condo, maybe they think since you don’t need to pay for it for 3 weeks then you don’t need the money for 3 weeks – I mean honestly that’s how I would look at it. My girls are giving me the money for their hair and make-up the night before at the rehearsal dinner so that I can have it all ready the morning of – there is no need to give it to me any sooner than that unless they want to.
For the bridesmaids dresses, can’t they just go on their own? I know it’s nice to have everyone together but, it’s not necessary, right? Trust me, I have had a million and one problems with one particular bridesmaid so I have given up any hope of having us all anywhere at the same time – I’m not even sure if we will all be at the wedding, lol!
And as for everything else, who cares what anyone else thinks about you, your fiance, or your wedding. It’s about the two of you and what you want. This is the start of your life together, he is now your family. I know all of this sucks and trust me, I feel for you but, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches and just accept that some people are selfish and will never change. Keep your chin up, only a few more weeks and then it will all be over with 🙂
Post # 7
It sounds like the other two girls would be willing to throw you one, next time they ask tell them moh is slacking and if they have the time you would be honored if they hosted. While it would be nice they don’t need to be there for you to get a dress take family instead, text them options for bridesmaid dress however if they aren’t there they aren’t able to complain if you pick one out.
2. I’m going to disagree with the other poster on this. It was incredible nice of you to find cheap accomdation for them. It is not part of the cost of the wedding because they would be sleeping there, if your reception was at the condo that would be a different story. I would send out a final email asking for payment on the due date,let them know if they don’t pay you, you can’t afford to pay for them so you will have to book a room for yourself and perhaps one for Fi. Then make arrangements if they don’t pay for their accomdation, rent one simply for yourself and your Fi, allow them to come over and get ready there morning of. Let them be in charge of finding their own places to sleep.
As for the Family tune them out. Have a response that is polite yet firm available. For example Mom comes over and starts talking about the church, “Hey Mom, Fi and I as a couple have made a choice for our wedding, that is the plan we aren’t changing it, so there isn’t any point in having this discussion anymore, do you have anything constructive to add about the ceremony on the beach?” Then use it for everyone. Don’t engage in any talks about the church. Finally ignore them!As for your Dad keep him at arms length and ask him to back off.
When you are overwhelmed like this take a little time for yourself, to relax have drink, maybe a nice quiet dinner with your Fi, just time away from thinking about the wedding, for a few hours, a weekend, or a weeknight. This is stressful, and it will drive you bonkers if you don’t get a little mental and emotional space away from it. Good Luck!
Post # 8
@melodyfire: Do you think your other bridesmaids would want to throw you one? Maybe it won’t be ideal if you don’t get the time off exactly but maybe something can work out?