Post # 1
hi 🐝 bees planning on a fall wedding sparkly gold, sparkly black, white very fresh rustic feel baby’s breath. With touches of fall leaves pumpkins candles etc. we are planning on having it at an elks club because we are on a budget. Thinking of having my mom & dad cook. Do you think we can make all the food or would it be easier to get a catering company We’re on a budget. There are 80-90 guests. Want my mom and dad to be in pictures. They would have to get the food heated etc. how would that work, any bees that made there own food how did it go how did you plan around pictures time frames would be great any advice! Don’t want to run around all day. Want them to enjoy the wedding! Thanks so much bees!
Post # 2
I think it would be very stressful and unfair to your parents to ask them to cook for 80-90 guests. They will have absolutely no time to enjoy the day or be in photos. Absolutely find room in the budget for a caterer, I would scale back the size of your wedding if you have to.
Post # 3
i would save up for a caterer even if it means waiting another year 🙁
Post # 4
Catering company. Seriously… it’s a big day for them too and cooking for that many would be unfair.
I would order pizza before I had mine take on that responsibility.
Post # 5
Please don’t make your parents work your wedding. They deserve to enjoy the party just like the rest of your guests.
Ways to save money:
1. Reduce the number of guests
2. Have your wedding/reception at an off-meal time. Either go early, like 2 p.m., with cake and punch and a few savory nibbles like cheese and crackers and a veggie tray and then be done by 5:00 or 5:30, or go very late after normal dinner time (start the wedding at 7:30 or 8:00) and then do a dessert reception serving a variety of sweets.
3. Shop around and go with a non-traditional caterer. Restaurants often have catering menus and mom-and-pop restaurants often have cheaper prices than a dedicated wedding caterer.
Of course, there is also the option to wait longer until you’ve saved up more money.
Post # 7
No, no. Don’t do that to your parents. You don’t want their daughters wedding to be a big, stressful thing for them. It might be ok if you were basically eloping and had like 2 guests? But 80-90? No. Hire a caterer. Save up.
Post # 8
Do not do this. My brother’s in laws wanted to do this too. Just no.
Post # 9
Hi bees thanks for the input. It actually wasn’t my idea for them too cook. They wanted too. I kept telling them it would cost almost the same amount too cook. We found a catering company that was in budget. But they still think they can cook. I agree it would be too stressful with pictures etc they would miss out because they would be cooking. I love my parents food but catering I agree would be easier. Trying to convince them to just hire the catering company. We are paying for all the wedding my grandparents and mom& dad offered to take care of the food.
Post # 10
Nope. Sweet of them to offer, but then they become your employees. And then who is responsible for replenishing the food and making sure it stays at proper temperature for food safety, and then clean up. And then making sure you have sufficient insurance in case someone gets food poisoning from your food (some venues don’t even allow food brought in that isn’t prepared in a licensed commercial kitchen – it isn’t even consistent from lodge to lodge). Even if they cook days before and reheat, it is still pretty much a full day of work for them in which they don’t get to actually participate and enjoy the wedding.
So just politely decline and then do your thing.
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Hire a caterer. The logistics of feeding 80-90 will keep them working through most of your wedding if not all.
Post # 12
Super sweet of them to offer but try to explain that you want them by your side a lot of the time and how much it means for you to have them relaxed and having a great day whilst a non-wedding party person caters the food.
Post # 13
thanks you bees! me and fh are going to try and talk to them again. tell them we want them to be relaxed and to enjoy the moment! dont need them to be working so hard. i want them present for it! maybe my grandparents could tell them it wouldnt be a good idea too cook either. or something. it is very sweet. but your right too hectic.
Post # 14
If they really want to help out, what about baking cookies as a favour? That can be done in advance and packaged up before the wedding so they don’t have to do anything AT the wedding. It sounds like they might feel a bit guilty over not contributing, but I honestly think it would be a nightmare for them to try to cater for 80 people AND still participate in the wedding.
Post # 15
Hire a caterer for sure. My mom and her girlfriend did the appetizers for my wedding and at the time I thought it was fine because they offered, but I’d never let them do it again. They did a great job but looking back I feel bad about it because I only got like one picture with my mom. When my boyfriend and I end up getting married, I definitely won’t let my mom do anything!