Wedding reception

posted 9 months ago in Food
Post # 2
2724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think it would be very stressful and unfair to your parents to ask them to cook for 80-90 guests. They will have absolutely no time to enjoy the day or be in photos. Absolutely find room in the budget for a caterer, I would scale back the size of your wedding if you have to.

Post # 3
1575 posts
Bumble bee

i would save up for a caterer even if it means waiting another year 🙁

Post # 4
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Catering company. Seriously… it’s a big day for them too and cooking for that many would be unfair. 

I would order pizza before I had mine take on that responsibility. 

Post # 5
4398 posts
Honey bee

Please don’t make your parents work your wedding.  They deserve to enjoy the party just like the rest of your guests.

Ways to save money:

1.  Reduce the number of guests

2.  Have your wedding/reception at an off-meal time.  Either go early, like 2 p.m., with cake and punch and a few savory nibbles like cheese and crackers and a veggie tray and then be done by 5:00 or 5:30, or go very late after normal dinner time (start the wedding at 7:30 or 8:00) and then do a dessert reception serving a variety of sweets.

3.  Shop around and go with a non-traditional caterer.  Restaurants often have catering menus and mom-and-pop restaurants often have cheaper prices than a dedicated wedding caterer.


Of course, there is also the option to wait longer until you’ve saved up more money.

Post # 7
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

No, no. Don’t do that to your parents. You don’t want their daughters wedding to be a big, stressful thing for them. It might be ok if you were basically eloping and had like 2 guests? But 80-90? No. Hire a caterer. Save up.

Post # 8
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Do not do this. My brother’s in laws wanted to do this too. Just no.

Post # 10
4398 posts
Honey bee

Nope.  Sweet of them to offer, but then they become your employees.  And then who is responsible for replenishing the food and making sure it stays at proper temperature for food safety, and then clean up.  And then making sure you have sufficient insurance in case someone gets food poisoning from your food (some venues don’t even allow food brought in that isn’t prepared in a licensed commercial kitchen – it isn’t even consistent from lodge to lodge).  Even if they cook days before and reheat, it is still pretty much a full day of work for them in which they don’t get to actually participate and enjoy the wedding.  

So just politely decline and then do your thing.

Post # 11
6399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Hire a caterer.  The logistics of feeding 80-90 will keep them working through most of your wedding if not all.

Post # 12
386 posts
Helper bee

Super sweet of them to offer but try to explain that you want them by your side a lot of the time and how much it means for you to have them relaxed and having a great day whilst a non-wedding party person caters the food.

Post # 14
6107 posts
Bee Keeper

If they really want to help out, what about baking cookies as a favour? That can be done in advance and packaged up before the wedding so they don’t have to do anything AT the wedding. It sounds like they might feel a bit guilty over not contributing, but I honestly think it would be a nightmare for them to try to cater for 80 people AND still participate in the wedding. 

Post # 15
518 posts
Busy bee

Hire a caterer for sure. My mom and her girlfriend did the appetizers for my wedding and at the time I thought it was fine because they offered, but I’d never let them do it again. They did a great job but looking back I feel bad about it because I only got like one picture with my mom. When my boyfriend and I end up getting married, I definitely won’t let my mom do anything!

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors