Post # 1
Help! I’m having my wedding ceremony and small reception at the beach. A couple weeks after we get back from our honeymoon, we are having a “wedding celebration” for the people who could not make it to our beach wedding.I want to invite everyone to both so they don’t feel left out. I’m not expecting many to come to the beach ceremony, just family and close friends. I’m unsure how to word the invitations. I don’t want people to feel like they have to come to both. I thought about sending an RSVP card with the invitations so they can choose which one they would like to attend. Is that a bad idea? Also, would it confuse guests? Thanks for the help!
Post # 2
Well normally people do send the RSVP card with the invite so they can let you know if they are coming or not. IMO the easiest thing would be 2 invites, 1 RSVP card, all sent together.
You are invited to the wedding of sdietxoxo and fiance, Aug 1 2019 in beachtown at 5pm, dinner at 6pm.
You are invited to the marriage celebration of sdietxoxo and fiance, Aug 30, 2019 in hometown, 2 pm.
Aug 1 wedding accepts___ declines ___
Aug 30 celebration accepts ___ declines ___
Something like that. 1 RSVP card will make it much easier to track everything. You could probably do 1 invite but I think 2 just makes it easier and separates them as different celebrations.
Post # 3
jellybellynelly : Thank you!! I definitely agree with you. I think that would be the most simple and less confusing way so I can easily keep track of everything.
Post # 4
My view is you do not do anyone any favors by inviting them to a destination wedding. No matter how it’s worded, if invited, people may feel obliged to spend unreasonable amounts of money and vacation time to attend your one and only wedding ceremony. Unless this was jointly planned, that may go for your family and close friends as well.
If you are determined to do a beach wedding, then I’d keep it intimate. Personally, I’d make the beach a honeymoon or mini-moon.
Post # 5
weddingmaven : not everyone dislikes destination weddings or feels that they are spending “unreasonable amounts of money and vacation time.” They aren’t for everyone, but some people prefer them over a regular cookie cutter banquet weddings.
Post # 6
sharpshooter : I don’t see having all of your friends and family with you on a very significant day in your life as “cookie cutter” regardless of venue, which does not have to be a banquet hall in any case. It’s a matter of perspective. My own priorities are people first, then places.
I cannot tell you how many people I know who have pretended to be happy to attend a destination wedding who in reality were anything but. In my experience there are far more of those then of people who are dying to spend money on your idea of their vacation.
Post # 7
weddingmaven : you can feel however you want about destination weddings, but coming into a thread where someone is saying that they are having a destination wedding and you telling them that they shouldn’t have one and to consider having “a beach honeymoon or mini-moon” is kind of a dick move.
To me that’s like someone who isn’t religious telling someone that their church wedding is offensive to some of their guests, so they should consider alternate plans.
It’s just ridiculous and mean spirited.
Post # 8
sharpshooter : I totally disagree. OP asked for advice about inviting everyone to the Destination Wedding or not, so this event is still very clearly in the planning stages. If she is set on the beach wedding I told her to keep the destination part intimate and gave the reasons for why many people consider them an imposition, yet feel obligated to attend. As far as the beach honeymoon, all I said is that’s what I would do.
Post # 9
She asked how to word the invitations. Not whether she should have one. Shut up, geez.
Post # 10
weddingmaven : give it a rest. Not everyone hates destination weddings and your response is irrelevant to the OPs question.
OP isn’t here asking about whether she should have one or not. She is having one and also having a local celebration later on for those who wish to join them but can’t or don’t wish to attend the dw. She is here asking how to best word the respective invitations so as not to confuse people.
Either give helpful advice on the topic at hand or leave the question alone. I can promise you that the world will not end if you don’t take every opportunity you can to share your opinion about destination weddings….
OP: it might be easier to send an invitation that is basically an info card directing people to your wedding website, where you can put a lot more details.
Something like “we invite you to join us in a small ceremony with close family and friends at ____ on ____, reception to follow. A larger celebration will be held at ____ on ____. Dinner and cocktails to be served.” And then they can RSVP online and check off which event(s) they will attend.
Post # 11
sboom : Not irrelevant. The OP’s question was not just how to word the invitations. She also said she didn’t want people to feel obligated to come to both events and asked whether or not the double RSVP was a bad or confusing idea. Whether you are fond of my opinion or not, it answers the question. Namely, if you really don’t want people to feel obligated to come to your distant, but once in a lifetime wedding ceremony, then don’t invite them.