Post # 1
I was married in a private ceremony in Italy 5 months ago and our reception to celebrate our marriage was this past weekend. We invited 85 of our closest friends and family to a pretty formal celebration. I addressed the invites to only those invited (adults) and was not including children. My brother and sister in law as well as my husbands cousin and wife were flying in with their children (3 total) for the weekend. As soon as I heard this I sent messages to both of the women and asked if I could set up babysitting services for the children and only the sister in law replies and said it was a great idea ( this was before they booked flights to the event). I arranged and paid for a fantastic babysitting service to be in another building at the reception site so that parents could check in on them. The babysitter was a licensed teacher who would do activities with the children and brought lots of games (wii) and tablet for the children. I sent both parents links to the sitters websites on what she does with children. I paid for the service from 5:30-11 and even arranged for our caricature artist to go visit with them to do a drawing after the dinner that I paid for. I also provided the families with numerous cool activities in the area for the children to look over ahead of time and arrange for times when the family could get together around the party for family time (Never heard anything back from them).
Fast forward to the reception. At 10pm the mother of 2 children went and brought all the children to the party and right onto the dance floor. The kids were diving into people and doing handstands on the floor. At this point of the night the adults were pretty intoxicated and I DO NOT think it’s appropriate for children to be around adults in that state. I went up to the mother and asked where the babysitter was and she said she went and got the kids. I told her that the party was not the best place for children (ages 5-8) this late with intoxicated adults and she said she would take them back. Ten minutes later my husbands uncle walks up to us and sneers at me and asks my husband who paid for the party? We were so taken off guard by this and his uncle said to my husband that he was a disgrace to his family and should take his mothers memorial picture down that I had arranged as a surprise to my husband. Needless to say the aunt (my husbands moms twin), uncle, cousin and wife and brother and his wife along with the children stormed out of the party and went back to the hotel (via the shuttle I arranged and paid for so that the parents could enjoy the party and have a safe trip back to the he with the children).
Moral of the story: no matter what you do and how thoughtful you think you are in making arrangements to try to make people comfortable, they will always get upset about something. For me it ruined the night. I thought I went above and beyond to make both adults and children happy. I paid for all the extras and services on my own to make sure it was special and in the end I was sneered at and disrespected. The following morning was awkward and I couldn’t stand to look at my husbands family for what they did.
Post # 3
@Italybound: screw them. I would not feel bad about it. they were out of line.
you did the right thing by setting up a sitter and they thought they could take advantage because they thought you might not notice.
Post # 4
@Daizy914 …..thank you for reading and for your support! I feel better feel after venting 🙂
Post # 5
Wow. you definitely went out of your way to accommodate them and they STILL went against your wishes and were complete jerks 🙁 I’m so sorry that happened to you!
Post # 6
That sucks. She was probably embarassed after you pointing out it wasn’t the place for children, but to storm out and make those sorts of comments is rude and inexcusable! But don’t let it ruin the entire event for you! Don’t give her that power! How was dinner?
Post # 7
@Italybound: ugh, sorry, but I have to say this…f*ck ’em!!! You were more than accommodating, and very smoothly told them to please remove their children from the party…you handled it much more elegantly than I would have! Oh man, this is making me fume…I cannot believe how self-righteous, ungrateful, greedy, and downright RUDE they were to you. Your husband NEEDS to put them in their place…they cannot treat you this way and get away with it.
Post # 8
One thing I’ve learned is that some people aren’t happy no matter how good something is, no matter how much is done for them, no matter how much someone goes out of their way for them – they will ALWAYS find something to be unhappy about. You could have had a reception with children and they might still have found something to complain about, so don’t take it personally.
I’m of the opinion that children should be welcome at weddings but I know a lot people don’t share that view. That’s ok, everyone can plan their wedding as they want it to be. Looks like they took it personally that you didn’t want their kids attending and didn’t want to hear otherwise. Try to let it go, it’s not worth it honestly (especially since they were such wankers about it).
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Caricature artist? Way too cool. Wish I was a kid at your fun kid-friendly wedding.
Adults with too much booze can be such a pain in the behind. I’m sorry you went through so much trouble — yet none of your family took notice.
Post # 11
@Italybound: Whoa. Not cool at all! I am so sorry, I hope you can manage to remember the positive parts of your evening. Don’t let people who were way the hell out of line ruin your memories.
Post # 12
thank you, I appreciate your support!
Post # 13
thank you for your support and you are right, she was embarrassed. I spoke with her last evening (at my request). She literally whined and said she “didn’t know better” and said she felt “judged” aka embarrassed. The woman is 42 yrs old and still can’t take responsibility for her actions. 🙂 Anyway, thank you JenGirl for your input and support!
Post # 14
thank you! I have read story’s on here and other blogs about familys causing problems yet I still wanted a party and took a chance. Lol… Luckily we eloped and had an amazing wedding day with nobody there to tarnish it.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
Wow, I would be absolutely livid with the way they behaved! Certainly relations would be much cooler, if they even existed at all. The gall of them bringing your fiance’s mother into it, that is a line that should never be crossed, particularly not because you want to guilt someone because they’ve put your nose out of joint! Ugh.
You went above and beyond, way way above and beyond for them, and they were horrifically rude. Try not to let it ruin the memories of your wedding!