(Closed) Wedding registry debate

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should register anyway. No, you don’t need new things, but people will likely want to get you gifts and it would be easier for them if you had a registry.

Post # 4
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s no requirement to have a registry, and if you’re torn about it, skip it. If people want to give you a gift they will, or just because they may feel you didn’t register because you don’t need anything, will most likely give you cash.

Post # 5
674 posts
Busy bee

It’s up to you.  Since many people will likely want to give you a gift of some kind, it would be nice to set one up for them.  You don’t have to make it big, and you could always use it to upgrade some things.  I know I would jump at the chance to fully replace and upgrade our crappy and so-so knives.  Could you use a new spare set of sheets?  Will your towels be ready to replace?

If you don’t want to go through the hassle of setting up a registry and trying to pick out new items, it’s not the end of the world.  Most people will probably give you cash, but you may end up with some very random items that you really do not need for those who feel it’s more traditional to provide a gift.

Post # 6
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I wasn’t going to register. I was going to tell people to donate to a dog rescue.  A friend of mine did it last year (she’s in her 40s, I’m in my 30s). 

My mother and aunts convinced me otherwise.  They said that some people will still want to give a physical gift and it’s better to give them direction than to leave them up to their own devices. 


I registered, but only for about 55 items (guest ilst of about 110).  I’m not going to add more to it.

Post # 7
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@DeathByDesign:  I think that’s right–it’s nice not to want to be selfish, but people want to give you gifts to show their happiness for you! 

Post # 8
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a charity registry, but people might just give you cash inside their card (especially if they don’t care for your charity/already donate to it regularly) or choose their own presents anyway.

Could you create a small registry of things you could use to upgrade?  Also, would you consider putting “no gifts” or your charity registry information on your website or on a card tucked into your invite package or spread the word by mouth?

Post # 9
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

While you might not need anything, a lot of guests (especially aunts and grandmothers) love to buy pretty wedding things (used to work at Crate, so I’m a bit of a registry guru). Like Libertybelle suggested-Could you use new linens/towels? Could you upgrade a few items?

Post # 11
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Create a small registry of upgrades, as PPs mentioned.  That way, those who want to give you a physical gift can do so and you won’t end up with 11 ceramic roosters.

Some people may not like the idea of a charity registry, because not everyone agrees with every charity (you said animal rescue, which is pretty universal, but its the principle of the idea.)  People want to give YOU gifts, not a charity.

Post # 12
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

We just registered this past weekend (what a pain!!!). While we have been living together for five years now and really don’t need anything it is a good opportunity to upgrade or replace things.

People are going to ask what to get you and if you don’t have registry you are running the risk of getting something you don’t want and/or need. It is just easier all around for both you and your guests.

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