(Closed) Wedding Registry Etiquette for a DW?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4056 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m having a Destination Wedding. We registered, but not for a lot (mainly because we don’t need/want much).

The reigstry is mainly there for the shower. For the wedding itself, we are making sure people know that gifts aren’t expected/wanted as we know they are spending A LOT to come to Scotland for the wedding.

As for the official etiquette of a registry, I have no idea πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@badabing88:  I think if you are not having guests you shouldn’t have a registry. So eloping = no registry, Destination Wedding with guests then yes, but you should noe invite people to te shower who are not invited to the wedding, so if your Destination Wedding is small your shower will be even smaller 

Post # 7
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We’re having a Destination Wedding, 99% of my friends and family live out of state and it’s just going to be us at the wedding, so a shower is being thrown for me but I see it more as a “this is a good way to see everyone before we go off and get hitched” πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m having a destination and this is my thought. I personally do not want to make any mention of gifts, because I know how much everyone is putting into COMING to the wedding, and I consider that a gift! I was going to just straight up not register at all

However…i have had many relatives tell me that people are going to buy me gifts whether I like it or not and I might as well let people know what I want (I truly dont NEED anything:) )

So my solution has been to choose one store that I really like and do a small registry. I am not putting it online, and I will not be mentioning it to anyone. If I am asked I will just say “I have a few things picked out at XX store if you insist!” 

If you do a shower, consider a themed shower so you don’t have to do a registry. For example, a linen shower. People would bring sheets, towels, pillows, you get the idea. I’ve also seen lingerie showers (these make me uncomfortable with all the moms and gmas there), also kitchen/cooking showers are cool too. Or you could do a recipe exchange shower, or an “advice for the couple” shower where you would mail people cards that they could write their recipe or advice on and bring it with them. Just a few ideas if you don’t want a shower, but having one is not impolite as long as you don’t go around advertising it expecting gifts! 

Post # 9
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@badabing88:  I feel like I’ve heard the same thing about not making a registry for a Destination Wedding. We are going through the same thing as you are. We’re having a Destination Wedding with a little over 20 guests. We’ve already let people know that if they are able to make it, that their presence would be their gift to us. To the people who aren’t able to go we’ve spread the word that no gifts are expected/wanted. We’ve been living together for years and have everything we need. 

My Mom has said a few people have asked about our registry and now I’m not sure what to do. I don’t think I’ll be having a shower as I live many many miles from either side of our families, so I suppose these would be wedding gifts? I honestly don’t even know what we’d ask for.

Post # 10
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@weddingnerd:  So my solution has been to choose one store that I really like and do a small registry. I am not putting it online, and I will not be mentioning it to anyone. If I am asked I will just say “I have a few things picked out at XX store if you insist!” 

Well now that’s a good idea I might use!

Post # 11
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We registered at just one place with not a whole lot of items. We put it together for the shower, and all of the items bought off of it were only for the shower (meaning we didn’t recieve any actual gifts for the wedding).

 

Post # 14
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@badabing88:  I think it kind of depends on your situation. My Destination Wedding is in Florida and almost all of our guests are from Indiana/Michigan and are just going to drive (some have decided to fly though). Pretty much everyone has just decided to rent big houses together and split costs, so as far as DW’s go its pretty reasonable. My sister (MOH) threw me a shower and so did my Future Mother-In-Law. I never asked for this, but between the two showers I think there was about 60 ladies that came. I don’t think anyone was offended that I had a shower but was having a Destination Wedding (they were all invited of course). If your guest list is very small and your Destination Wedding is somewhere very costly, you might consider a very small registry and no shower.

Post # 15
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@badabing88:  There is nothing inherently rude about merely creating a registry.  Provided you don’t TELL people you have it or give them information about it unasked for, I think you’re being polite.

That said, if someone isn’t invited to your wedding asks you if you’re registered, I would tell them no, regardless. 

Post # 16
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We created a registry and are having a Destination Wedding. We mainly did the registry because people were asking for one and we did receive many items from our registry for my shower. I hope that people really don’t bring us wedding presents to our Destination Wedding….we will have no way to get them back home. However, the registry is still a good idea for people you invite who cannot attend the Destination Wedding. We have received a few gifts off the registry from those who cannot attend.

The topic ‘Wedding Registry Etiquette for a DW?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors