Post # 1
Anyone else out there getting in fights with your partner about the registry?
He’s Asian and doesn’t like much stuff. I’m white of both Southern and Northeast background, and admittedly more of a “stuff” person than he is. He’d be happy with no registry at all, and I put my foot down. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve fought about this! I tell him my Southern family will give china because it’s tradition, that many people prefer to give a physical gift vs cash, that we can replace or upgrade our mismatched household goods. He goes on and on about how impractical it is, how money is so much easier, how we’re going to need a storage unit (note: we live in the city, we have a little space to work with but not much), this is just not logical, blah blah blah.
We get each other’s points but we just keep arguing! I’m posting here for a vent more than anything else. I’m sure we’ll figure it out but I’m downing some Drambuie after our 3rd fight this month about it. There’s a lot of baggage culturally so I know that adds to the sting. Anyone else out there fighting over registries? Or maybe you’ve been through it and have some tips? 😀
Post # 2
What if you start with a small registry and add some of these items at it gets bought out?
Post # 3
My fiance is sort of the same way. He just very unmaterialistic. I explained to him I wanted to have the shower my mom is throwing me, and that the women wouldnt bring cash. He was confused (still is) but I told him that since I wanted the shower, we had to register. Our compromise was that I registered only for enough to cover the shower. So, we have a super small registry, so small that a few friends asked me when I would be done registering. They wanted to pick my gift from the “whole list”. I told them that was it, and when asked why, I told them we didn’t have the space, and that certain items didn’t need to be upgraded (I just bought a new pot and knife set).
Post # 4
Tell him you don’t register, people will still get you items, but they will be things you don’t even want. 😉
this worked with my Fiance, who was also on the fence about registering. We have a small registry with a good range of items (or so I thought) but we’ve still gotten traditional gifts we really don’t need. Candle holders, two picture frames that I ahhh will probably return, monogrammed towels when I’m keeping my name and we don’t really need towels, a crystal vase that is gorgeous but definitely not cat-safe hahah!
people want to give physical gifts and unless you tell them you definitely WANT and will LOVE xyz items, they’re just going to buy you want they want to give.
Post # 5
It also helps if you tell him that you can exchange items you receive for items that you really want but can’t put on the registry. Give him some ideas of big ticket items he will like not having to pay for.
Post # 6
musket87: just add things and don’t tell him. 🙂
Post # 7
I had different cultures and ages at my wedding. Older people on my husband’s side were used to giving physical gifts and constantly berated us for a registry. If we didn’t have one it was considered cash grabby.
Perhaps don’t advertise it anywhere. Those who want to give cash will give cash. Those who want to buy from a registry will ask and it’s handy to direct them to one.