Post # 17
As a bride, I’d be grateful for any gift, but I also wouldn’t typically buy a gift that wasn’t on the registry because I know how particular I am about what comes into my house, my own personal style, and keeping it clutter-free. I am usually not a fan of knick-knacks and if I registered for something, it’s because I read the reviews and decided it was a quality product to keep in my home. I think a lot of brides prefer items off their registry because they don’t want to end up with 10 picture frames and no towels or a set of candle sticks when they already have their own. I have a friend who always gives something on the registry and then personalizes the gift with something complementary off the registry. I would just say if you’re getting something off the registry, that’s fine, but at least include a gift receipt.
I think it’s super unclassy to show anything but gratitude for a gift, but I could understand why a bride would be less than thrilled about getting a pan set than the one she registered for even if it was expensive. I registered for items at a variety of price points so I hope a friend doesn’t buy me a crappy blender instead of the Vitamix I actually wanted, I hope she would just buy something in her price range that I registered for.
Post # 18
I had a great aunt solve this problem by adding the gift she got me onto my registry. lol Apparently the Bay lets you do this, complete with a card in the mail informing you of it.
In this case I liked the gift, and I guess it’s good to be added so other guests don’t decide to get you something similar, but I was surprised a guest was able to add things onto our registry!
Post # 19
See for me, I don’t care about matching fancy silverware or antique/precious place settings. I just registered for regular stuff, like sheets and a new duvet cover, etc.. Stuff like that.
I get what you’re saying, but honestly I just don’t need candle sticks or picture frames. If you wanted to buy me something thats not on my registry, that’s totally fine, but I just don’t like clutter, and I don’t really like items that aren’t my specific taste. I hate for that to sound rude, but it’s the truth. I wouldn’t return the item, because I would feel rude doing thaT, but I wouldn’t use it (likely) so it would sit in a box or something somewhere.
Post # 20
Ahhhhhhhh this happened to me too! And it was hilarious because my bff looked at it and was like, “Why is there a crystal serving dish with feet on your registry? That seems very unlike you!” and I was all “oh, uh, yeah, my aunt got me that and it showed up there?” and she was like, “RETURN!” and I was like “yep yep.” It’s funny because we have all these modern, sleek things, and then BAM ridiculous old lady bowl. (Though according to my mother, my aunt has one and uses it all the time to serve chips from, which is probably why she got it for us, since she knows we like to entertain.)
Post # 21
- Wedding: November 2013 - Honey Lake Plantation
Registries exist to tell people what the couple wants/needs. It’s a tool of convenience, especially useful for far-flung friends and family who want to do something nice for the couple but might need a little guidance. If the gifter knows the giftees well enough and wants to give them something meaningful that may not be on the registry, I think that’s a lovely gesture and takes a lot more time and thought that clicking something from a list.
Sometimes I think we all need to be reminded, on both sides of the equation, that while gift-giving has become a socially-accepted part of weddings (and other celebrations), it’s never mandatory. Gifts are not dues or taxes paid to be able to attend the wedding, like a 2-drink minimum at a club or a suggested donation at the door.
Post # 23
@Cappugcino: Yes, you definitely need to check out their registry to get a sense of their style. I don’t mean to make it sound like I just go around buying people what I like all the time! Also, I’ve been known to ask the opnion of someone close to the couple before going out on a limb.
@TattedNYBride: Somethings you might not want now, but you might be grateful for it at some point when you need it and don’t have to go out and buy it. That said, if I know my friend hates traditional girly stuff like crystal, I won’t buy her anything in crystal. And if I really know nothing about the bride, I will probably defalt to something from her registry anyway, because in my opinion that is what they’re really for anyway…people who need ideas!
Every single birthday from birth to 28 my grandmother has given me a piece of crystal stemware for birthdays and christmas gifts from one particular pattern. When I was little I thought it was so flipping annoying because I was a kid and I just wanted a toy or twenty bucks or something. Now that I’m 28 and I’m hosting thanksgiving dinners every year, I stop and say…that woman was so damn smart. I have a complete set of water, champagne, and wine glasses that I would NEVER be able to afford because crystal now costs a bloody fortune. That is what I mean by you might appreciate something a little more formal or traditional later on down the road.
Post # 24
And I should mention that every single time I moved and had to lug that damn crystal around everywhere I would curse a little..not to mention finding a place for it when I lived in tiny apartments. But now…priceless, even if it only comes out of the box once a year and stays under the bed for the rest.
Post # 25
I have to admit I would only want stuff off my registry. We eloped so didn’t register for anything but if we had a traditional wedding I would hope people would buy off the registry. We’e 30 and have been living on our own for 12 years, we don’t need a lot of stuff, and what we do want or need would be very specific based on color schemes, usefulness and decor. I’m getting to a point where I don’t want all this extra stuff in my house that’s not my taste or something I won’t use, I’ve cleared my basement too many times as it is and I have enough stuff to dust. In addition I’m super picky about decor etc. so the chance of someone selecting something I would really love or have a place for is pretty slim.
Post # 26
This a million times.
We registered for stuff that we need/want/like/is practical. Your taste is not our taste–we don’t want crystal anything, a silver frame (especially not one you spent $35 on), cutesy figurines, etc. We currently live in a small apartment and do not have room for extra/special things, especially stuff that’s not our taste at all or would never get used (see: real silver, china, crystal, etc.). I mean, if you REALLY know the couple well and know what their style/preferences are, then great, give it a shot. My issue is that I spent hours researching the items on our list (between looking up reviews and looking at stuff in store) so that we’re not registering for junk. Unfortunately, no one close to us seems to understand our taste–we keep ending up with religious paraphernalia and creepy Willowtree figurines. I would much rather not get a gift at all than get something like that.
Also this times a million. In our case, chances are that it would sit in the box for three months and then get donated to Goodwill.
Post # 27
@vorpalette: Not sure if you kow this, but you can get some beautifully classic sterling silver-plated frames for 35-50 dollars. Kind of snobby to say…a nice silver frame, great. Oh wait, you onlt spent 35-40 bucks on it? It must be from like target or something. As I said several times, if you know that person hates silver stuff, then that’s different. I only used that as a standard example. People know I’m not religious so if they sent me religious stuff I would think it was their way of telling me I SHOULD be religious, so I’m with you on that one because I would he hella pissed.
Okay, so what if you get 10 silver frames and you don’t have pictures for all of them right now. Well, I’m assuming that you will continue to take pictures over the years, maybe even have children. One day you will find a need for that sterling frame still in its box and you’ll think…one less expensive frame to buy!!
Post # 28
I would appreciate absolutely any gift given to me… although there are many that I wouldn’t use and just donate or re-gift due to my own personal taste (for example crystal candlesticks or a silver frame). I am very specific when it comes to things that go in my home.
Post # 29
Maybe you’re not as picky about what goes into your house, but some of us have very distinct styles and we might not want a sterling silver frame that wouldn’t match our stuff. When I think about what kind of present I want to give someone, I want them to love it, not think, “oh, joy, just what I didn’t need!” If I get anything on my registry, I’m happy, even if it’s the less than exciting fruit bowl or towels. I live by the “only keep things in your home that are beautiful or useful” motto and if it’s not beautiful or useful, it’s going to goodwill or a garage sale.
Post # 30
@crystalrae: that is exactly how I feel when I receive a gift for any occasion. I am just so shocked by the indignant people who actually come to you or you hear through the grapevine were bitching about what you gave them as a gift. I might say to my fiance…wow, definitely not a fan of these strange figurines your cousin sent. But that would be as far as it would go and my fiance knows now to pass that information on!!!
Post # 31
@vanessa7: I am one of the pickiest people around. I thnk I said like 10 times that I used the silver frame as an example and that I would not purchase it for someone I knew didn’t like that type of thing. Also, if I misjudged someone’s style and they returned it for something else…wouldn’t bother me in the least. I am not a mind reader, but I do hit the mark more often than I miss because my mother blessed me with pretty good taste thankfully. Also…I will straight up ask someone, or someone close to them if I’m really unsure.