(Closed) Wedding Registry frustration.

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Registries are rude in the first place.  No mention of gifts should ever be made.

Post # 34
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think

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@vorpalette:  was saying you were cheap for only spending $35 on a picture frame. I think she was saying that $35 is a ridiculous amount to spend on a picture frame, especially one that the couple didn’t want in the first place. Like other posters, I’m pretty particular about what goes in my home and I’m living with very limited space right now. We don’t have a need for a silver picture frame, and honestliy, I don’t think we ever will.

However, if you gave me a silver picture frame, I’d graciously thank you, send you a card, and likely return it. I think including a gift receipt is a must in a situation like this.

Post # 35
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@weddingnerd:   Not sure if you kow this, but you can get some beautifully classic sterling silver-plated frames for 35-50 dollars. Kind of snobby to say…a nice silver frame, great. Oh wait, you onlt spent 35-40 bucks on it? It must be from like target or something.

Wow, no, not what I said at all. I figured my saying that we didn’t want things like silver, crystal, etc. would hint that I think $35 is WAY too much to spend on a frame. Also, we registered at Target. 

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@oneofthesethings:  I find this sentiment hilarious because then the same people say that it’s rude to go to a wedding without a gift/”I would never go to a wedding empty-handed.” So do you just gift the couple something random that they may or may not like? I assume that you’re against bridal showers, as well, since the whole point of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts for her new life.

Post # 36
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@cmbr:  Ha, we posted at the same time. 🙂

Post # 38
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@vorpalette:  I’m not against showers at all!  I had 2 and they were lovely.  What I’m against is giving people a list of what they should buy me.  I was not expecting any shower, so I was happily surprised that I had 2, and was thrilled that people came and brought gifts that they had chosen.  A gift is just that, a gift.  You accept it graciously.  I’m not sure why people think that people should only give gifts that have been pre-approved by the couple.  Do you do that for Christmas or birthdays?

And yes, I would never show up to a wedding without having sent a gift in advance or bringing a card with a check.  I suppose I do run the risk of getting the couple something they won’t like, but I think that’s a poor way to look at gifts.  I mean ANY time you give someone a gift you run the risk that they won’t like it, right?

Post # 40
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@weddingnerd:  I also used the picture frame as an example, but touche. 

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@oneofthesethings:  The reason a wedding is different from a Christmas or birthday gift is because the couple is starting a new life together and often times in a new home. Maybe this is different nowadays, but my fiance and I don’t live together and having had roommates, we will need a lot for our home. I’d rather receive the beautiful Spode china I registered for than getting a lot of random pieces that don’t go together or five toasters. 

Post # 41
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@weddingnerd:  I am always surprised when I see registry info in invitations and even on bridal shower invites. I think wedding websites are somewhat acceptable, but yes, with Google, it’s really not that difficult for people to find your registry.

Post # 42
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@weddingnerd:  you don’t have the right to decide what someone might need or want in the years to come. Sorry, but even in ten years if Fiance and I are entertaining, I’m still not going to want some frou frou crystal anything. If you truly want to support the new couple, trust their judgement and get what they have asked for. Wanting to buy something that you see fit just so that the bride might think of you in the future seems pretty selfish to me, and turns the gift into being about you and what you want out of it, not what I as the bride have asked for. Again, no one should be rude about any gift, but I think it’s just as rude to assume that you know better than I do what I want. 

Post # 44
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@weddingnerd:  Like someone giving you a religious book saying how wonderful it’s been for their marriage and how you might come to appreciate it one day? 

 

 

Post # 45
Hostess
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@ajillity81:  Agreed 100%.

We recieved nearly everything on our registry and even then we ended up returning and exchanging a great deal as our ideas and decor changed. That being said we were very grateful for the items we did recieve and the ability to easily return/exchange items because of the registry. In other words the guest’s money was not wasted on the item.

We recieved a few random off registry gifts and frankly they were not our taste/style and a waste of the guest’s money which is unfortunate. We have no idea where they came from nor we do have a way to track this down so we donated these items to Goodwill. Yes we appreciated the guesture but I’m pretty sure the guest would be just as frustrated as we were to know that their hard earned money wasn’t put to good use.

When in doubt give money or a gift card. Unless you know the bride and groom very well I don’t suggest straying from the registry. It just doesn’t always work out as you had hoped.

 

Post # 46
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not having a registry because the items that I want are too exspensive and I am consciousness of my guests budgets. My fiancee and I are building a home which will be ready at the end of the month and we are going to go ahead and buy the nice items that I want so by the time August rolls around which is our wedding month we would have already gotten what we need/wanted.

 

I think people need to realize that the tradition of giving gifts were for couples who NEEDED them. Nowadays its like people feel like they HAVE to get a gift or BUY one. I would rather my guests spend their money on a couple who doesn’t have much and who actually needs it verses just buying something off of a registry because I made one.

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