(Closed) Wedding registry gift card fraud, turned into a positive?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think it’s tacky at all.  I assumed that unless you registered at a specific store… most people gave checks.  Given the history with your sister, i’m sure no one would find it offensive. 

Post # 4
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree too. I think it’s a good idea. I can’t believe that happened to your sister. That’s horrible.

Post # 5
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry that happened to your sister, that’s horrible.  I have seen posts on here about the situation with the macy’s gift cards and since Fiance and I are registered there I was thinking about maybe posting something on our website about not puchasing their gift cards.  I think that your guests would appreciate the fact that you don’t want them wasting their money.

Post # 6
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m part of the “its never okay to blatantly ask for money” camp, so you’re probably not going to like my response. If I received this “suggestion”, I would be offended. I don’t know that it would cause me to not attend the wedding but it would not sit well with me. 

Typically if you’re not registered anywhere, most guests will opt to give monetary gifts without having to be pressured to do so. I’ve been to a boat load of weddings and never given anything other than a monetary gift, even when the couple was registered. 

Do what you think is best but just know that some people will probably find this a little off.

Post # 7
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with CaitMarae.  I think this should be spread through word of mouth only.

Post # 8
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that what happened to your sister is not a common occurrence n very unlikley to happen again. For that reason I also agree wit CaitMarae that asking for checks is a bit off. 

Post # 9
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Cheques are also subject to cheque fraud, which in this age of photoshopping and high-quality printers can involve one cheque’s being used to spawn dozens of transactions. If gift cards weren’t secure in the venue, how can your guests assume that cheques would be more secure — and if the cheques fall into the hands of fraudsters it is your guests’ bank account that could be emptied rather than just the balance on your gift card.

A better solution might be to warn everyone on Facebook that the reception isn’t a great place to be bringing valuable gifts, whether gift cards or not. Send them ahead of time to the bride’s home where she can put them away securely.

Post # 10
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i understand where you are coming from and why you want to ask for checks. but like other PPs have said, there is no need to directly ask for checks.  all you have to do is not register.  i personally would be offended or think its tacky. i would just give a check because that’s what was specified was needed for gifts! i never get offended since i believe it is expected for guests to bring gifts (i say this as a guest, not a bride), i could never go to a wedding without bringing a gift.

however, since you won;t be registered, when and if people ASK where you are registered or what to get as gifts, that’s when you tell those people who specifically ask your story. Just say u are not registered for 2 reasons 1) you don’t need any “stuff”, 2) your sister had her wedding gift cards frauded.  and so the best gift you could receive is monetary to put towards your house.

Post # 11
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I don’t have a problem people asking for money on their wedding day.  I want to get them whatever they want and will be happy with whether it be money, gift or charity donation. 

People who don’t like it on the invite usually argue that it’s expecting something which they consider rude.  I figure most brides are expecting something anyway and fair enough so! 

I think spreading the word can lead to ambiguity.  I like directness 🙂


Post # 12
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@dynamic_duo:  oh OOPS! i just re-read my last post and saw i left out a key word and it changes what i meant to say!

i personally would be offended or think its tacky.

is supposed to read:  i personally would NOT be offended or think its tacky.

Post # 13
39 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Some banks will issue gift cards that are secured through a credit card company. I gave a friend a Visa gift card and it one of the most secure monetary gifts you can give. I wouldn’t put it in the invitation, but if you would like a special type of monetary gift, you can always put it on a website or circulate it through word-of-mouth.

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