Wedding registry help

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
4905 posts
Honey bee

1.  Just because people ask, doesn’t mean you have to have one.  If you don’t have one, most people will just give you cash.  You can tell them “Oh, thanks for asking but we didn’t register because we pretty much are set for everything at our house.”  If you want to add in a “Right now we’re saving up for…” you can.  Whether that’s furniture or a bathroom remodel or a vacation or whatever.

2.  You don’t have to register for things you don’t need or want just for the sake of registering.  Who cares if lots of people register for $100/place setting dishes?  Do you even like those dishes?  If you do, then register for them and people who can afford to drop that cash will buy them or they will buy you something they can afford or give you a cash amount they can afford and you can save up your cash to buy the plates yourself.  Otherwise register for what you do need and like.  My theory is don’t register for anything you wouldn’t buy yourself if you had that amount of cash burning a hole in your pocket.  And if you are going to register try to have a few different price points (i.e. don’t only register for Waterford Crystal – have some things like towels or small kitchen gadgets that you need). 

And if you legitimately don’t need or want anything, then again you just don’t register and most people will give you cash.

Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
natasha0b :  I would do all different price points. Some larger items and some smaller items. Like we registered for an upgrade can opener/ marble trivet. Both well under the 100 dollar mark. But then we also registered for a new fridge (we did group contributions for that one) 

Post # 5
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - UK

We did 12, this is the reasoning: If I’m hosting friends I might need 6, If I’m hosting family I will probable need 8, for something big like Christmas dinner I might need 10. Then you have one extra just in case and one for when something breaks. Things will break and unless your going for something really classic its a pain to replace.

So, think of the biggest dinner you might realistically host and add 2.  

Post # 6
Member
4905 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
natasha0b :  Well, only you know your circle and what they can and cannot afford.  Have you purchased $100 place settings for any of your friends and family?  Would you side eye it if you saw it on their registry?  Do you or your friends and family have $100/setting dishes normally?  Do they they routinely give $100-200+ as a wedding gift?  If you live in an area or come from an income class where that is the norm then I don’t see the big deal.  If that isn’t the case, then yes it is possible some people may balk.  I come from a lower to solidly middle class background with moderate cost of living and I could see some rolling their eyes at it.  Higher income brackets or people on the coasts might not bat an eye at it.

If I handed you $800 right now, would you go purchase 8 place settings with that money?

As for how many settings you need, that would depend on your entertaining habits, family size, and future family planning.  12 is pretty standard but can be too large depending on your needs and habits.

Post # 7
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
natasha0b :  I’m not a fan of registries as I and everyone I know already lives with their partners and has everything they need, however, one friend did have one as her parents really wanted her to. 

She put a bunch of smaller items (under $50) each which you could purchase multiples of. This was mostly for the older folks that wanted to actually buy her something. One cool thing she did was put gift cards on her registry because she didn’t want to ask for the (expensive) things that she actually wanted/needed. She put options for $50, $100, and one for whatever amount you wanted. This way people contribute whatever they could, and she would pool the money together and buy a new mattress/couch/ whatever she wanted without putting the actual item on the registry. 

It saved me a huge headache because I knew she didn’t need 20 wine glasses, and I could give her whatever I wanted on a gift card. 

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - Brooklyn, NY

Are the plates you like available for individual sale? I registered for 4 complete place settings plus 4 each of salad plates, dinner plates, bowls, etc. That way if a place setting is beyond someone’s budget, he or she could buy 1 or 2 individual pieces instead (if he or she desires!).

Post # 9
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

Some background: I’m in the Midwest, solidly middle-class friend group. Most couples I know register at places like Kohl’s, Target, maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, and very occasionally Crate & Barrel. So quite possibly different expectations than your group.

But, there’s no way I’m buying $100 place settings. I went to one wedding where the bride registered for $75 silverware sets, and those were some of the less-expensive options on her registry. Very few items were checked off in the week before the wedding, and I think we ended up giving either a check or a picture frame or such because the registry was so overpriced.

Moral of the story: make sure you have a variety of price options on there, and don’t get your heart set on some of the expensive things unless that’s on par with your friend group!

Post # 10
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

And a side note: if only two people buy you place settings, do you intend to spend $600-$1,000 on the rest? 

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

In my circle, that would be completely normal.  If you love them, register for them! As long has you have items at different price points (under $25 and $25-50  being the bulk), your guests will feel no pressure to buy you anything why cannot afford.  It is very common for registries to have a handful of higher end items- dyson vacs, luggage, vitamix, higher end pots and pans etc.  I wouldn’t bat an eye at $100 place setting.  I usually spend around $100 for a shower gift from the registry, and gift cash for the wedding (as does my circle).

Post # 12
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

1.  Ignore the consultant.  His job is to sell stuff.  Of course he encouraged you to register for lots of expensive items.

2.  It is fine to have a couple expensive things, like a vacuum cleaner or stand mixer.  A group of friends or a generous aunt might like to spring for something like that.  But it seems less likely that multiple people will want to drop a decent chunk of change on a dinner plate / lunch plate / soup bowl / mug* set.  To me, that doesn’t feel like a very big or exciting gift (in large part because it’s only one component of a larger set of identical items).  I’d rather buy the one-off stand alone item if I were going for something big ticket.

*Does anyone use the mugs that come with the sets?

3.  If interested in buying dinnerware, $100 per place setting would be too much for me.  Given that you called it “insane”, it’s too much for you and your crowd too.  As mentioned above, consider that you may not receive all 8 place settings plus the accompanying serving pieces.  Are you going to complete the set yourself?  Look around and see if you can find something you like just as much, or nearly as much, at a more reasonable price point.  How much less do you like it?  How much less does it cost?  Would you rather receive the full set of this pattern than a partial set of the more expensive one?

4.  8 place settings isn’t all that many.  Think about how many will fit in your dishwasher before you run it, how many people you might host for family events and holidays or when hosting a friend’s shower etc…, how many children you might have, how many you might break (and how you’ll replace them if the pattern is discontinued).

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