(Closed) Wedding registry if eloping?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

That could be seen as very rude.  In many circles, you don’t include it with the wedding invitation, and here you would be doing something similar with people who aren’t even invited.

Register if you want.  If people ask, let them know.  Don’t volunteer the information if you’re not asked.

Post # 5
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with the above poster.  Some of your friends and family will still want to give you a gift, but don’t send them a list.  Even if you had a formal wedding, it would be in poor taste to include your registry information.

 

Post # 6
Member
5975 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@AB Bride:  +1

Post # 7
Member
2954 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

If people want to get you a gift they will but by creating a registry people then feel like they are expected to give you a gift which they are not. So what I’m saying is no don’t create one!

Post # 8
Hostess
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Don’t do it. It comes off as “You were not important enough to be inlcuded in my wedding day, but buy me a present.” I know that that’s not what message eloping is supposed to send – i had a privated, planned elopment and it was awesome – but some people will take it as a personal affront to them. 

If someone wants to buy you something, they will. 

Post # 9
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@theseautumneyes:  I think its rude. I had an intimate ceremony, parents and siblings only. and we did not have a registry even though some friends asked. We did receive cards, gift cards and presents anyway. 

Post # 10
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Holly77:  I think creating the registry is fine.  If people take the effort to seek out the registry out, they were the ones who did so.

 

@theseautumneyes:  That would be better, but I still think it’s fairly gift grabby, as people aren’t being provided a website to help them out with directions, etc.  They are being provided with the website for more selfish reasons.

Why are you concerned about getting the registry information out there?  Does your family (or your SO’s family) typically give registry gifts?  How are they used to getting the information?

Post # 12
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@theseautumneyes:  Since they have asked you already, it sounds like the tradition route of word of mouth will work.  Go ahead and let your immediate families know, they have already asked.  The rest can find out from them, or will ask you guys again closer to when you do elope.  Some will probably even check out the typical places themselves.

Post # 13
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@theseautumneyes:  Absolutely yes, its wrong.  It is ALWAYS WRONG to include registry information in invitations/announcements but its particularly wrong in this situation.

To include the registry information is to say, “Hey, we got married! You weren’t invited but we expect you to send us a gift and here’s what we want and where you should buy it.

If anyone wants to know where you’re registered, they will ask you or someone in your immediate family or they’ll just look it up themselves. 

Post # 14
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, it’s inappropriate to register.  You have made the decision to elope, so you have also made the decision to fore-go prewedding parties and registries. 

Post # 15
Member
12955 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Double, sorry!

Post # 16
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I see nothing wrong with putting together a small registry. Some people will want to get you a gift to celebration your marraige, regardless of how you got married. Don’t annouce it to the world, but be sure to tell your parents about it in the event that someone approaches them wondering where you registered. 

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