Post # 1
I have some advice that may help some of you.
There were a lot of people at my wedding that really didnt need to be there and probably made things worse for me. A few girls who I called ‘friends’ who I thought would be happy for me and act like mature adults were petty and jealous behind my back AT my wedding. One girl- who I had originally considered as a BM- kept calling my wedding plans ‘basic’ and I told her I didnt like being called that. She said it was a joke but throughout the months leading up to my wedding continued to say it. At my bachlorette, and then of course she had to call my wedding decor basic at wedding- I found out later. It wasnt an elaborate wedding but we had a small budget which now im grateful for because we barely went into any debt for the wedding.
Anyway, that judgement at my wedding was very hurtful to me and Im still struggling- its been a few months. I think I made it too much of a show for my guests and I shouldnt have done that. If it wouldve been more of an intimate small wedding, I wouldnt have felt the pressure as much. Women are such harsh judges. I regret even bothering with the reception at all, or I wouldve just had a small family reception. No ‘friends.’
Im trying to listen to what everyone keeps telling me and not care what others thought cause it wasnt about them but it was just so blantantly disrespectful of them that I am having a hard time letting it go.
Can anyone relate?
Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/whats-your-biggest-wedding-regret/#ixzz4Z4jtyzxc
Post # 2
I don’t have any advice and I’ve never gone through anything like this I just wanted to lend some support, I’m sorry they were so obviously jealous of something they had to do that you. Women can be bitches sometimes.
IMO there’s nothing wrong with basic, I like to think if basic as traditional like basic black you know? I get how she meant it, but I think it’s a stupid insult to begin with. It burns me that there’s something so inherently wrong with a person they have the nerve to attend their wedding and insult them at it. Sorry bee 🙁
Post # 3
Eva Waardenburg :
Probably not the best idea to join with your real name and a link to your Facebook page. You can ask for a change of username on the Support Board.
Post # 4
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why you’re so upset over someone using the word “basic”? Was she trying to be mean? Clearly. But why is it still bothering you months later? Cut off the friendship and move on!
Post # 5
[content moderated for personal attack]
Post # 6
I think she meant to say basic in a spiteful way, thats how it seemed to me. Really dumb, and totally not what I needed , ya know? I could tell she wasnt joking but was pretending to. Like- youre a bitch- haha jk! then its ok to be insulting, as long as you pretend youre kidding. Thats what I saw anyway.
Post # 7
on the contrary, I imagine that many people wouldn’t necessarily think of the fact that their real name and Facebook is linked to this posting. It’s one of the issues of signing up directly through fb now. Reminding people of basic internet and security is not a bad thing to do.
Of course, the OP may have meant to do it this and that’s fine. Doesn’t make Julie’s response rude.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
Jealousy maybe? The only person I’m aware of that made negative comments is DH’s friends Fiance who is desperate to get married but her Fiance is putting it off to spend money doing up their house. She told me AT MY RECEPTION “it’s so cute here, our hall (where she wants to marry) is massive but it’s my fairytale and I knew I’d never settle” and “I’ve never seen bridesmaids dresses in that colour, if they are happy in them that’s the most important thing.” Yeah she could have said worse things but it wasn’t great to hear it on the day. Her wedding was meant to happen before ours and now might be in 2018. She makes digs about us not having kids when she has two with her ex so she’s just judgemental in general.
I distance myself from her now though her Fiance is a great guy.
I’m sure your wedding was perfect for you. If you look back on the day and your main feeling is happiness then that’s the most important thing.
Post # 9
Internet security and privacy are things that are easy to forget and easy to not take seriously. It’s amazing what you can find out about someone just by a simple Google search. In no way was Julie’s response rude. Yours though…very rude.
Also: “So you can feel superior in your super anonymous screen name?” Because yours isn’t anonymous? Seriously, calm down. If you don’t think Julie’s being helpful, flag it and move on. You don’t need to be so inflammatory.
Post # 10
Basic is definitely an insult. Think “basic b*tch” phrase.
Op I’m sorry. You’re right to take away the lesson that there is no point in trying to impress others.
There’s a phrase you could think about, “it’s none of my business what others think of me” or something like that.
the more you think about that, the more freeing it is. Screw them, their opinion only means something if you decide it does.
Post # 11
What the hell just happened… Julie said nothing offensive or wrong and you just flipped your shit over absoloutly nothing and now successfully look crazy
im not even sure what point your trying to make through the anger and insanity or did you just come to rant and call out people giving good advice
Post # 12
Eva Waardenburg :
If they wanted to be rude to you, don’t you think it’d make them happy knowing it affected you this much, and that it bothered you? Let it go. They can go be miserable by themselves in their little sad bubbles. Something my grandma always told me is that if someone’s making me anxious, upset, or angry…think of them in awful, pink polka dot undies. You can’t help but laugh at someone in hideous pink polka dot undies.
Post # 13
Glad to see that you are your usual charming and helpful self.
Post # 14
I bet she’s unmarried.
My adolescent JBM said to her mom while taking a seat at her table, “My wedding is gonna be so much better than this.”
Her Mom rolled her eyes and said, “Not if I’m paying for it, you won’t.”
I laughed so hard my ribs hurt. Teenagers!
So now JBM is a lovely young lady in a serious relationship and looking into the actual cost of hosting her own wedding. Last weekend she came to visit our baby, looked at the wedding pic she was in, and said what an amazing wedding it was. My, how things change when guests learn how money works!
I bet your friend will be eating crow the time her wedding comes along.
Why does it bother you so much what some stupid frenemy said? I mean there’s always that awful auntie who thinks she knows everything and failure to perfectly replicate her 1985 wedding makes the bride the worst hostess ever. If it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else. Criticism reflects more on the person giving it than on you. I’m sure other guests who overheard her thought “RUDE.”
Post # 15
people sometimes have no filter… our wedding was hot. Like- hottest day of summer hot. Annoyingly, some of the people I heard complaining had weddings in the same conditions or the complete opposite…. my bestie was whinging about the heat and her wedding was exactly the same (but longer ceremony in direct sunlight, and I wore a black dress as Bridesmaid or Best Man… VERY hot), another friend whinged non stop and all that I could think was that she kept us outside in the rain at her wedding in the middle of winter.
My point? Some people will whinge no matter what, and the people whinging will probably be unmarried as PP said, or they will have forgotten the bad parts of their own wedding day cause that’s what happens…