(Closed) wedding regrets – take my advice!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - backyard

I understand how you feel. I have a friend/old roommate who complains about everything and puts me down in passive aggressive ways. I’m really worried about having her at my wedding because I’m afraid she might be judgemental about my $5000 budget and DIY centerpieces. But I try to remind myself that everyone has different tastes, she may be jealous, her complaints are her personal opinion and don’t have to reflect badly on me, etc. So yeah I can relate! Sorry that happened to you

Post # 17
Member
9583 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Those women are not your friends. Forget about them. I’m sorry they were rude- to hell with them. 

Post # 18
Member
9140 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
forgotusername :  

What a very strange response to what was pretty obviously a friendly warning . It may not have been necessary , but it was a  good  thought anyway . Unlike yours .   

Post # 19
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Eva Waardenburg :  “take my advice…..no friends”

As frustrating as your wedding sounds the problem was your choice of friends.

Post # 20
Member
4229 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Speaking as someone who found out too late one of her BRIDESMAIDS was a ‘frenemy’ in disguise, I can relate to your frustration. It truly sucks when these kind of ‘learning experiences’ are at the expense of things like weddings, vacations, birthday parties, births ETC.

Some people just suck.

Post # 21
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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snowflake8 :  This! One of my bridesmaids spent the day trying to make things as difficult as possible. She brought her friend to the wedding (uninvited) and spent the entire day smoking in the parking, whispering about other people, and criticizing everything. In all our group photos from the wedding, you can see her pouting off to the side. ‘Frenemy in disguise’ sums it up perfectly.

Post # 22
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

IMO jealous can be one of the hardest emotions to deal with and put aside.

I admit, I’ve had a few things come out of my mouth that shouldn’t have when I was so jealous over something I couldn’t stand it- only to realize after the fact that I had behaved badly. Your so called friend that kept calling things basic probably did think in her own head that it was a joke and that all should have understood. Probably not seeing clearly with her jealous green eyes.

My husband and I were married a long time ago the first time and there were people there who were telling me horrible things right to my face that they thought were ‘helpful’…or so they claim. One ‘friend’ that I think was really jealous insisted he speak with me, then giving me a list of all the things I should have done so ‘more people would have come’ in what universe does that help a bride when she’s already standing in how gown and bouquet? I got so upset over that and other things people were saying to me that my best man had to practically lasso me as I was heading for the car to leave, telling him ‘lets go to vegas, I’ll call (husband) from the road to meet us there!’ Not rational I know, but that was my bridal brain at the time. I was so upset I thought my day was ruined being repair. Best man told everyone there would be a delay of my walking down the aisle, we grabbed the photographer and got pictures of me hitting baseballs with a bat, owned by some guys at the park where the wedding was. Calmed me down enough to agree to not leave!

before the wedding, After I’d already hired someone to manage and cook our feast, a friend and pro cook suddenly announced to everyone that as a wonderful favor to us, she would be cooking our wedding feast! at this time it was maybe 2 weeks before the wedding. She had been asked if she wanted the job, and when she turned it down I asked if she’d like to assist in choosing someone else, she said no as well. Said she wanted to just be a guest, and that was fine. After she announced to everyone that she was going to cook the feast and I had to tell her no, someone else had the job she stopped speaking to me, and still hasn’t to this day.

I don’t really know why she did what she did, other than someone told me she didn’t approve of who I chose to do our wedding feast. I guess she really did think that she would be doing us a favor to step in and do the feast instead. Some told me that she really did think we’d fire the other person. Go figure!

Feast went very well in the end, and years later I still get irritated by some of what happened. Sorry for my long post, but I understand what you’re talking about. Hard to imagine some people behaving hurtful towards you on the day you hope for support. Other things happened on that day that I won’t get into since I’ve already written a too long post.  Bad stuff can happen on your wedding day no matter how much you plan, you just do your best to take it all in stride during the day and after, the best you can.

For those planning, my advice is do what I didn’t think of doing at the time, have someone be available to speak to those well meaning people so you can hopefully have peace and quiet as you are preparing to walk down the aisle. again, sorry so long, but that’s my vent on the subject that I wish I’d handled differently.

Post # 23
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Hateful, jealous people will always figure out something negative to say. Sorry you had to deal with her being rude, but bitches will be bitches. I wouldn’t let it get you down. Even if you spent a fortune to make it ideal in her eyes, she still would have said something snide about how you overspent. *eyeroll* 

Your advice is really good, OP. When we make choices for our weddings, we shouldn’t make choices based on what others will think. It’s hard to remember that sometimes. 

Post # 24
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I’m not trying to be a total biotch here, but you REALLY need to get over what people think and/or say. My husband and I created our DREAM wedding. Went totally overboard. But we LOVED it. I’m sure people had lots to say about it, I heard a few things I probably wasn’t meant to, but I couldn’t care less. If anything, be grateful you found out who your real friends are. Other than that, they can suck it lol…it’s YOUR day. Not theirs.

 

Post # 25
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee

I agree that you should try to surround yourself with supportive people who add to the joy of your wedding. I don’t think that months into your marriage your should still be giving this woman’s snide comments space in your mind. She embarrassed herself by being rude, you have nothing to feel bad about. 🙂  

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