(Closed) Wedding-related, but non-waiting related question!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
439 posts
Helper bee

Well, since two of your friends already called and asked, I’d say just go ahead and call or text.  Normally, I’d say not to call or ask, but I’d just do it in this case.

Post # 4
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

If you want to go and she is telling people who call her that their guests can come, I would just call her. Who cares if she really forgot or is just avoiding confrontation? Maybe she just didnt understand etiquette rules before she addressed the invitations, someone informed her afterwards, and now she is too embarassed to bring it up and is trying to save face. Give her the benefit of the doubt and call and ask, especially if you would like to attend.

Post # 5
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Your fiance is invited (fiances? invited! always!), and if he isn’t, that’s more rude than calling to ask if she meant to include him or not. 😉

I’d just call. Either that or I’d just RSVP for him without asking for clarification. I don’t think that’s okay for all plus ones, but spouses and fiance(e)s are automatic and people who try to leave them out deserve to be made uncomfortable. 😉

Post # 6
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would call and ask if you can’t ask in person. PLEASE don’t text! This is something that depending on her response or your wording can be misconstrued via text.

Post # 7
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@spaniel: I second this exact answer!

Post # 8
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Going by strict etiquette alone, you should accept the invitation as issued and decline if you don’t want to attend without your fiance. 

However, if you would like to attend the wedding or be there for your friend – you could call her.  If you don’t want to outright ask if you can bring him you could just say that you wanted to call her before she received your RSVP because you’re so very sorry because while you would love to attend, you had already committed to spending New Years with your fiance.  Then she can extend the invitation to include him or not as she sees fit. 

I do want to say that I disagree that you should just RSVP for the two of you or just show up with him.  Her breech of manners would not excuse yours. 

Post # 9
244 posts
Helper bee

hun, there’s no way she expects you to be away from your fi during nye.  just call her.  don’t be bratty and think if she cares she will call you, hello!  she forgot!  she may not realize she left out your fiance too.  

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