Post # 1
Sorry I haven’t been around in awhile, things are very busy with work!
Anyway, I had a question, and didn’t know where to ask it, and yall are so nice so I figured the waiting board would be best.
One of my friends wedding’s is on new years eve, and my fiance was not anywhere on the invite–so not invited, right? Well one of my friends, who is also engaged, texted her to ask if her fiance (not on the invite) was invited. She said that with the rush of everything, she forgot to put his name on it. Then a friend, who has been dating someone for 6 mo asks the same thing, the girl responds again, with the rush, she forgot to put his name on the invite. Now they both say I should ask her, because lets be honest, I’m not spending new years with out my Fiance.
Also weird is that my Fiance is just as good of friends with her as I am. My theory is that the invite has it that he is not invited. Now that both of them have talked to her, if she did forget to add plus ones (which is rude) she should call/text/email and let us know. If she cared enough for us to be there, she would make sure to let me know that he is invited.
My friends say I should just text her so that we can all go together. I think she might just be saying that they were invited to avoid confrontation, and again, if she cares she can call me to invite him, otherwise, I’m assuming he wasn’t invited and spending new years with him.
Am I being a brat? What should I do?
Post # 3
Well, since two of your friends already called and asked, I’d say just go ahead and call or text. Normally, I’d say not to call or ask, but I’d just do it in this case.
Post # 4
If you want to go and she is telling people who call her that their guests can come, I would just call her. Who cares if she really forgot or is just avoiding confrontation? Maybe she just didnt understand etiquette rules before she addressed the invitations, someone informed her afterwards, and now she is too embarassed to bring it up and is trying to save face. Give her the benefit of the doubt and call and ask, especially if you would like to attend.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Your fiance is invited (fiances? invited! always!), and if he isn’t, that’s more rude than calling to ask if she meant to include him or not. 😉
I’d just call. Either that or I’d just RSVP for him without asking for clarification. I don’t think that’s okay for all plus ones, but spouses and fiance(e)s are automatic and people who try to leave them out deserve to be made uncomfortable. 😉
Post # 6
I would call and ask if you can’t ask in person. PLEASE don’t text! This is something that depending on her response or your wording can be misconstrued via text.
Post # 7
@spaniel: I second this exact answer!
Post # 8
Going by strict etiquette alone, you should accept the invitation as issued and decline if you don’t want to attend without your fiance.
However, if you would like to attend the wedding or be there for your friend – you could call her. If you don’t want to outright ask if you can bring him you could just say that you wanted to call her before she received your RSVP because you’re so very sorry because while you would love to attend, you had already committed to spending New Years with your fiance. Then she can extend the invitation to include him or not as she sees fit.
I do want to say that I disagree that you should just RSVP for the two of you or just show up with him. Her breech of manners would not excuse yours.
Post # 9
hun, there’s no way she expects you to be away from your fi during nye. just call her. don’t be bratty and think if she cares she will call you, hello! she forgot! she may not realize she left out your fiance too.