(Closed) Wedding Related (Not my wedding though!)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Wow – even if spring dates fill up quickly, that’s just being too on the ball.

And about the whole not telling him thing – if he proposes he’ll find out anyway when she has to tell him the date, venue, etc. are already set. How does she plan on hiding that? Poor guy doesn’t get to have any say.

Post # 5
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

OMG!! I cant believe they took pre-proposal so far! Ok I will admit it that once my Fiance mentioned in front of my mom that we were going to get married. He didnt say when of course well my mom just took it and ran with it and started talking about wedding planning. We went dress shopping I of course just wanted to try on dresses to see what I liked but she wanted to purchase one. I had to bring her back to reality there wasnt a proposal out there! Yea I definitely would kinda wonder about this one and if this event will actually happen!

Post # 6
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with you, what you described sounds pretty weird! I don’t think that girls should be secretly planning their wedding prior to being proposed to. It’s also a lot fo money to be buying a dress and booking venues when the guy hasn’t even popped the question! I do admit that I looked at some venues online prior to being engaged, but nothing like this.

The other thing that bothered me about your story is that he boyfriend will apparently have no say in the wedding plans. Fiance and I have decided on everything together-from date to venue, to food etc… It’s his wedding too!

I can understand if a couple is not officially engaged, but are making preliminary plans together.

I am not meaning to offend anyone, but you have to wonder with girls like this if they are really focused on their future hubby or a gorgeous wedding.

Post # 7
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yikes, the Boyfriend or Best Friend didn’t even know about all this? THAT’S what irks me about this whole thing. Like, I’m totally okay with couples planning their wedding before an official engagement. Sometimes it just works better for them. But to not even include the BF? Weird.

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

what if he doesn’t like the place, has a family member’s birthday with that date so he doesn’t want to have it then or another conflict? my fi wanted to be included with the big things like that, plus he would have been really weirded out to find out that our whole wedding was planning before we got engaged. i hope she actually does get the proposal!

Post # 9
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

lol – you’ll have to update us on this one and let us know how good of an actress you are if she does ask you to pretend.  

Post # 10
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would definitely agree that even if he does propose once he finds out the wedding is already planned he might want to take back that proposal! How weird! And what a huge secret to hold talk about some serious resentment if it doesnt play out like she wants it too!

Post # 11
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was trying to think of the expression earlier, but I think we can call this putting the horse before the cart!

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow! That’s some pre-planning! Well I hope for her sake that it works out. Before FH and I officially got engaged I had to stop him from making comedy holes in the wall whenever my friends mentioned us getting married. I think if he were the bf that he would run for the hills!

Post # 14
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, she sounds a little nutso. It’s one thing to plan WITH your man before you get “officially engaged.” That is a stupid term and I’m so totally over hearing it used because what is an “official proposal” really – you don’t need a ring to be engaged people. Anyway, different rant. It sounds like this guy doesn’t have any clue as to what is going on and that is not cool. I had my venue and date booked before I got my ring, but Fiance was involved in every part of that. Sounds like this girl is setting herself up for a bigtime letdown.

Post # 15
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This story makes me extremely sad for the Boyfriend or Best Friend (aka future groom even though he doesn’t know it yet).  I agree preplanning with the SO can be fun and can prepare you for costs etc…but to book half a wedding without an “official” engagement is beyond me. 

My concern is what if the “Chad” really had no intention of proposing?  Speaking from personal experience, I know my Fiance had dropped hints that we would marry someday but the engagement didn’t happen until immediately. 

Do keep us up to date with this one.

@jaylii: I was thinking the same thing about being more concerned about wedding and not the marriage.

Post # 16
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

ha ha ha ha PLEASE keep us poset on how this goes! That poor guy! You can’t start planning concrete things until you both are on the ball!!! That being said, maybe she found a ring and doesnt want him to know that she knows….

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