Wedding ring dilemma

posted 5 months ago in Rings
Post # 16
679 posts
Busy bee

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@doglover27:  Your friend’s question is valid and it’s totally ok to say that you want it because you want it. Full stop. Being bitter can affect how you deliver the message. Saying you don’t like the diamond, it’s not what you wanted, etc could be hurtful. Find the glass half full perspective and stick to that.

“We’ve accomplished so much these past five years of marriage. I’m proud of how far we’ve come and to celebrate, I’d love to get a new diamond or ring for our anniversary.

My original diamond is very sentimental, especially since you picked it out just for me. I’d like to put the diamond in a necklace to keep it close to my heart. The old diamond will always remind me where we started and the new one will celebrate how far we’ve come.”

Fwiw, I suuuuuuck at being vulnerable with my husband and telling him what I want. I have been working with my therapist on this for over a year. I’m not saying this is the perfect way to handle it, but it’s what I would say if I were in your situation based on what I’ve learned so far. 

Post # 20
6516 posts
Bee Keeper

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@doglover27:  What a great update! I’m happy for you that you were able to talk to your husband about switching your stone and that he was receptive to the idea. I am wishing you guys a lot of fun and happy memories in searching for  your new stone!

Post # 22
260 posts
Helper bee

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@doglover27:  delighted it all worked out for you! Maybe look at having the original set in a bezel style pendant to provide extra security if the stone is included. I set a round diamond in a bezel necklace and I love it. 

another thing to add is to check out lab diamonds, they are a lot better value than mined diamonds so given the size you need it might help with costs. 

That inspo ring in stunning!

Post # 23
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

*** comment was posted before reading your update. Your ideal ring is stunning! I’m glad everything went better than expected! 

I totally understand where you’re coming from. When we got married 13 years ago I was doing my residency and didn’t have any source of income other than my husband’s. He proposed with a beautiful ring but there wasn’t a center stone. It had a cluster of 4 small stones. I loved it at the time and wore it for 12 years but always wanted it to change it out. I told him I wanted to upgrade our rings to platinum because ours were white gold and we had to keep re dipping them. I got the rings and I don’t regret upgrading but quiete honestly I have so much sentiment for the old one that I wouldn’t change it. I want to keep it the way he gave it to me. I barely wear it but I wouldn’t part from it because there’s so much history behind it. That being said, it your ring doesn’t bring joy to you anymore, I would suggest you bring it up to your husband and perhaps keep the ring the way he gave it to you because it might have more of a sentimental value for him. 

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