Post # 16
Your friend’s question is valid and it’s totally ok to say that you want it because you want it. Full stop. Being bitter can affect how you deliver the message. Saying you don’t like the diamond, it’s not what you wanted, etc could be hurtful. Find the glass half full perspective and stick to that.
“We’ve accomplished so much these past five years of marriage. I’m proud of how far we’ve come and to celebrate, I’d love to get a new diamond or ring for our anniversary.
My original diamond is very sentimental, especially since you picked it out just for me. I’d like to put the diamond in a necklace to keep it close to my heart. The old diamond will always remind me where we started and the new one will celebrate how far we’ve come.”
Fwiw, I suuuuuuck at being vulnerable with my husband and telling him what I want. I have been working with my therapist on this for over a year. I’m not saying this is the perfect way to handle it, but it’s what I would say if I were in your situation based on what I’ve learned so far.
Post # 17
agreed. I would never tell him I hated the diamond out loud. That would literally crush his heart into a million pieces. I would definitely say it very loving. I liked the way you phrased it though I might have to steal it! But yeah I have been going to a therapist for probably 2 1/2 months for my marriage. It’s helped for sure but I definitely struggle saying things that I want! I bottle things up and then get depressed because I want something and don’t say it. Or I don’t want to talk about something that’s bothering me 😂
Post # 18
Just to let everyone know, I talked to my DH over dinner and brought up the idea of changing the center diamond. I was very cautious on how I worded it but I explained to him that for my birthday I would like to change the center stone in my engagement ring for our anniversary. He was definitely suprised but he was very receptive which I thought was super amazing. I told him I would pay for the upgrade since it is something I have always wanted. I showed him the crack in the diamon and told him when we look for a different center diamond together that I would love him to be there and that I would love these certain specs for the diamond. I told him I would also love to take the center stone and put it in a necklace so that I can wear it “close to my heart” and he also told me that the crack in the diamond represented that our relationship isn’t perfect but even though we have some damage we are still togerther. *cue the tears*
The conversation could not have gone any better. Ladies, if you want something from your man, just ask and be open. They just want communication too. 🙂
Post # 19
Also found out from a jewler that with my halo I have to get a round diamond to make the gaps go away. I was thinking of trying out a 1.2 ct round diamond for the center stone with my halo! What do you guys think? this is what it would look like. I’m also going to ask to put diamonds down my solitaire band too. 🙂
Post # 20
What a great update! I’m happy for you that you were able to talk to your husband about switching your stone and that he was receptive to the idea. I am wishing you guys a lot of fun and happy memories in searching for your new stone!
Post # 22
delighted it all worked out for you! Maybe look at having the original set in a bezel style pendant to provide extra security if the stone is included. I set a round diamond in a bezel necklace and I love it.
another thing to add is to check out lab diamonds, they are a lot better value than mined diamonds so given the size you need it might help with costs.
That inspo ring in stunning!
Post # 23
*** comment was posted before reading your update. Your ideal ring is stunning! I’m glad everything went better than expected!
I totally understand where you’re coming from. When we got married 13 years ago I was doing my residency and didn’t have any source of income other than my husband’s. He proposed with a beautiful ring but there wasn’t a center stone. It had a cluster of 4 small stones. I loved it at the time and wore it for 12 years but always wanted it to change it out. I told him I wanted to upgrade our rings to platinum because ours were white gold and we had to keep re dipping them. I got the rings and I don’t regret upgrading but quiete honestly I have so much sentiment for the old one that I wouldn’t change it. I want to keep it the way he gave it to me. I barely wear it but I wouldn’t part from it because there’s so much history behind it. That being said, it your ring doesn’t bring joy to you anymore, I would suggest you bring it up to your husband and perhaps keep the ring the way he gave it to you because it might have more of a sentimental value for him.