Wedding RSVP dilama

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
8266 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Not rude at all. “Hi uncle mark, it’s oneinamillion following up on your RSVP for our wedding on may 10th. Please let us know if you’ll be able to make it, and if we don’t hear from you by may 3 we will put you as a no and will catch up after the wedding.” 

Post # 3
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If a guest does not RSVP, you can assume it’s a no. We only had one couple that did not RSVP, but did actually come. However, we also had a couple and a single that RSVPd, but didn’t come. In the end it all worked out. I’m sure the same is common for most couples.

Post # 4
Member
991 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I had that happen. Had a “friend” who I texted and called repeatedly to see if he got our invite, if he could come, etc. Never heard back so the last text I sent him said “I’m just going to put you down as a no.” I literally never heard from him again!

My BFF saw him recently and said he seemed to know I was married and couldn’t believe I had a baby. Lol. Loser.

Post # 5
Member
2653 posts
Sugar bee

How have you been trying to contact them?

If you’ve called or texted them directly and they didn’t respond then I would likely count it as a no. But if you’ve only used email or post then I would try to contact them another way. If you’ve only used email there’s a chance it’s been going to their junk folder, and if you’ve only used snail mail then you may not have the right address (They’re not always returned, or can take ages)

Post # 6
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
knotyet :  No, you can’t assume they’re not coming.  The invitation could have been lost in the mail or the RSVP they were returning got lost in the mail.  It happens more often than you’d think.  A phone call or text takes at most 5 minutes.  If they’re worth inviting, they’re worth that 5 minutes.

Post # 9
Member
2653 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
oneinamillion :  “and what does it mean when they say ” We’re gong to totally try!!” Is that a maybe? “

It means they’re either rude or clueless.. I would reach out to whoever said that one more time and say that your vendors are looking for final numbers. You can say it kindly, like “Hi there, just wanted to reach out one last time about the wedding on ‘DATE’. We just need to have our final numbers into the vendors by ‘DATE’. Absolutely no pressure if you’re not able to make it. We’d love to see you, but we can always catch up at a later date”

You’ve gotta drive home that you need a yes or no (and delicately imply that you’d prefer a no to a maybe)

Post # 11
Member
2678 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
oneinamillion :  honestly that would piss me off so much. It’s a wedding not a house party. 

I agree with PP. Reach out in a few days and make it clear that you need to know if they’re actually coming.

Honestly that sounds like a no to me, otherwise I feel like they would’ve said yes. I get the feeling even if they do say yes they’re going to no-show.

Post # 12
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
WallNut :  Yes, you can assume. The OP says they followed up over 3 times. That means it’s a no. I read the full post before commenting. 

Post # 13
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
knotyet :   No, you can’t assume without following up.  Your post didn’t say anything about following up, you merely said, “If a guest does not RSVP, you can assume it’s a no.  We only had one couple that did not RSVP, but did actually come. ” 

Perhaps you should have followed up.  You confirmed my point, thanks!

I also read the full post.  Maybe you should have read your own before posting it.  

Post # 14
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
WallNut :  Wow. Just wow. In the OP, “what if the guests you invited never RSVPed though we have been following up over 3 times…should we take it as a “no”, or keep waiting”

I responded to the OP. I did not need to re type what was in her OP in my response. She already said she followed up, so I did not need to repeat that. Like, since you said this, I’m saying this. It’s understood that I’m replying to her words, which included that they had already followed up over 3 times. You took my post out of context, instead of as a reply to the OP  

Also, like the OP, I did follow up.

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