(Closed) wedding shower?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Etiquette states that those not invited to the wedding should not be invited to a  shower.  Your sister, being a member of your immediate family, also should not be hosting a shower for you.  However, I would not give up hope of someone still doing something for you as a surprise in the way of a shower or gift that would be acceptable.  For example, when one of my co-workers had a destination wedding, and no one from our office was invited, we still — on our own — got together and purchased a very generous gift card for her from a store where she had registered. I’ve given a shower gift to someone when I wasn’t even invited to the person’s shower, just because I wanted to give her a gift.

Post # 5
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with Brielle.  It is not polite to invite people to a gift giving party when they are not invited to the wedding.  Immediate family members also aren’t supposed to host a shower for you.

But she could host a bridal luncheon so you can get together with ladies who aren’t invited. But no gifts, no games, just a little socialization and maybe a light refreshment of sorts.



Post # 7
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Brielle: I can understand mothers hosting the shower being a bit iffy but siblings are an entirely different story. Lots of brides have their sisters as their Maid/Matron of Honor. Traditionally, the Maid/Matron of Honor hosts the shower so the logic that a sibling cannot host isn’t really there.

Post # 8
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@rosworms: In my opinion, who cares who throws the shower? If that’s what your family does, continue to do it. I, personally, haven’t ever cared one way or another who was hosting the showers that I have attended. My Future Sister-In-Law, Future Mother-In-Law, and mom will be throwing mine because they asked to do it. 

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