(Closed) Wedding Shower HELL

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

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@Valentina2012:  I’m sorry you are going through this.  I would be hurt as well if my Maid/Matron of Honor (and in your case only bridesmaid), didn’t at least offer to help with some wedding stuff (emtional and physcial).  Bridal party members are by no means “slaves”, but we do choose our ladies b/c they support us and are there for us emtionally.  While I understand your friend has great exciting stuff going on for her, you do too, and she should still be there for you and be honest with you with what she can handle.  I don’t really have any advice that you haven’t already tried (ie. asking if it’s too much for her, paying for all these things yourself, etc), but just want you to know we’re a listening ears (or eyes!) if you are looking for opinions on things in the future.

Post # 94
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had a one-person bridal party, as well. I told my Maid/Matron of Honor at the beginning that she didnt have to plan and pay for these parties for me. I felt bad because she was the only one, and my family stepped in to help. My shower cost very little, since it was hosted at my mom’s house. While my mom and aunt did a lot of the cooking and prepping of the house, my Maid/Matron of Honor hosted it (ran games, etc). 

I would suggest to her that you dont need her to spend money, but you would really like her to do things that dont cost anything – such as host, run games, etc. Elicit your family for help, and dont rent a space to hold the event. Have it at someone’s house. Cut back on the extras and ask the Maid/Matron of Honor to just be there. I think if you approach it from a “just be there for me” perspective and not make it seem like you want her to financially contribute, it will be fine.

I think right now she is totally distracted. Seems like she is in a pre-baby “omg I wont get to travel again!” mode. Plus, moving and being pregnant are a big deal, and those are two big life changes. Just keep being supportive, and she will eventually be supportive back.

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