(Closed) Wedding Shower Help!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@purplediamonds:  You tell Little Miss Priviliged that you’re good for a 20 lady shower, so she can either mow her guest list for Gift Grab 2013 down herself, or you’ll do it for her.  Showers are not a mandatory thing thrust upon attendants, they are gifts given by the nearest and dearest of the bride to help her prepare to set up her own household and have fun!

Post # 4
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2004

A bridal shower is a privilege and not a right.  It is supposed to be a nice day with close friends and family…. Not a huge over the top event that leaves one person financially ruined!  

Post # 5
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

First of all, the other bridesmaids should be chipping in. I think you need to lay it down to your friend that you can afford X and Y but that’s it. If that’s not good enough then I would suggest stepping down from your role as Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 7
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Um, the other bridesmaids are absolutely obligated to help you pay for it, but I would also hit up her mom.  That is ridiculous.

Post # 8
29 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

She doesn’t sound like a very good friend, to be honest. Not only is she expecting you to do something she refused to, she gets annoyed with you when you expressed perfectly legitimate concerns about paying for her celebration? Is she aware of the reasons for which you waited to get married? If she isn’t, a frank discussion with her might be in order. If she is, well… again, doesn’t sound like a very nice friend. If she really gets mad at you for “ruining” her fun by not being able to pay for her and her friends to have a good time, I might not worry too much about potentially losing her as a friend by stepping down. 

I’m not poor by any means, but I have a number of friends whose families are wealthier, and I definitely know what it’s like to deal with the expectations of more financially privileged people. Sometimes people who come from money really don’t understand what it’s like to have limitations on your spending, even when they think they do.

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