(Closed) Wedding shower vent – long

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

your frustration is understandable.  just try to enjoy the day with the people who do care and forget about the ones who couldn’t be there.


Post # 4
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Chin up lady- your true friends will be there… and the plus is you’re married to your best friend, and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters 🙂  HUGS!

Post # 6
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so sorry you are down, sweetie.  I can totally empathize.  Try and enjoy the friends that do make the effort to be there for you and focus on the important thing which is marrying the love of your life.  Big hugs!

Post # 7
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You sound like a wonderful, caring friend and a humble person. I’d imagine that those friends who are coming truly value you as a special person in their life. I’m so sorry that these other people are too wrapped up in their own lives, but I hope you know that this isn’t a reflection of how good you are. Oftentimes, the kindest people get overlooked because friends think they will “understand” when you let them down. They don’t realize how much it hurts to be passed over. I really hope your enjoy your shower with those that are taking the time to come! 

Post # 8
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

(( hugs )) I’m sorry. I felt the same way wedding planning, too. Some engagements just aren’t so happy. :/ That’s all the advice I can give on that area. Know you aren’t alone in the fact that there are other brides out there (like myself) who were ignored and pushed to the side by people who they’d been there for for years. it hurts. 

I hope your shower has at least one BRIGHT moment for you! Try to find it. no, it may not be the happiest event ever…. but the five people showing up must care for you. I hope there is a bright spot in your day and that will give you hope to hold onto that you are important. And the bee is excited for you too! I know I am. Best of luck. 

Post # 11
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hate this for you.  And I hate that you think you’re an ‘older’ bride!!!!

It’s unfortunate when your friends do not step up and behave like the friends you think they are. 

But, don’t let it ruin the time you spend with the people who are making an effort. 

Be loved, be celebrated and be relaxed. 


Sending a hug!

Post # 12
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Do your family and friends know that you are already married? Also, do they know that the vow-renewal that previously was scheduled for your family and friends has been canceled without a new date being set? I’m asking this because it may help to explain the absence of some of the guests who were invited to the shower.

Post # 15
43 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Congrats to you for taking your own path!  Not many people have the strength to be individuals and make their own way in life.  I’ve been in your shoes- I’m from small town Ohio and supported many friends through their engagements, weddings, children, etc.  I figured it would be quite a shindig if I ever got around to marrying!  Well I was right, but not one of those married friends made it to my wedding or my bridal shower/bachelorette.  This after spending valuable time and money flying back and forth across the country to attend their festivities while I was busy earning my doctorate.  I can say, though, that I wouldn’t trade one second of celebrating their special days, nor would I trade the wonderful new friends that I made in college and graduate school who were thrilled to celebrate my wedding last September.  So as a 28-year-old bride, I feel your pain, but I can assure you that you’re better off surrounded by those who are happy to be by your side.  I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time at your party, and just know that you’re not alone!  I’m happy for you! 🙂

Post # 16
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m sorry circumstances have resulted in your situation and that you’re feeling so sad. I’m a lot older than you are, and I also married later in life.  It is different when you are the only one of that group of friends from your younger days who is getting married, and people are now scattered all over the country.

One silver lining about having a small party tomorrow is that you’ll truly be able to interact with each of those friends.  I had a larger shower, and I was unable to interact with each person there before a couple of them had to leave, and that made me sad. I hope you have a very sweet and special time with these ladies who clearly have chosen to make you a priority on this special occasion.

I’m also sorry that you and your Darling Husband had to marry in such a quick manner, with no family or friends present. However, especially since it does not appear that you’re going to be able to reschedule your vow-renewal ceremony any time soon, I would like to encourage you to begin thinking of your Darling Husband as your Darling Husband and not your Fiance and your actual wedding ceremony as your wedding. Otherwise, if you’re still waiting for what you were referring to as you “real” wedding to happen, it is going to be very hard for you to begin feeling as if you are married and for you and your Darling Husband to enjoy what is your actual first year of marriage. Perhaps circumstances will allow you to have a large vow-renewal/anniversary celebration with family and friends at some point in the future. But try to enjoy this special time of being newlyweds now. 

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