Post # 1
I am getting married in 47 days and am really having a hard time getting out of a depressed state of how I currently look.
I have been working every spare minute I have on the wedding and on myself to feel confident with the day and make the wedding as wonderful as possible.
I have been on slow weightloss journey that has not been showing the best results in photographs and my face
We just took another round of engagement photos because I did not like our first photographer and I can’t stand to even look at more than a few without getting upset. I am not here looking of the “love yourself and just be you” pep talk. I want to know how brides deal with being unhappy with themselves while they are doing what they can to better themselves and their body issues. I am not going to be the “perfect” image of myself on my wedding day and I have accepted that and am okay with it, but it is really making me just sad for my fiance and for myself that it may not be the happiest day of my life becasue of how I feel about myself due to the results of my progress.
For reference, I am taking spin classes twice a week 50 min classes, dance lessons twice a week 40 min classes, walking my dog daily 20-30 min, and also doing weight training twice a week 20-30min. I have been eating healthy and really watching my sugar and carb intake. It seems that the more picutures I take closer to the wedding the worse I look. Things are hanging funny and I look bigger than I did before! I have lost a total of 25 pounds and I went a whole dress size down with my wedding dress and it does fit me and is even a little lose in places but looks bad in my face, neck and upper arm area due to the weightloss progress.
I just don’t know what to do to have everything tighten up and look better in 47 days and it is just making me so sad and disappointed. 🙁
Post # 2
Maybe slow down the weight loss so that the skin has time to recover? When I lose weight, it takes some time for my skin to catch up because I’m in my 40’s. I try not to lose more than 1-2 lbs a week partially for this reason.
I used a lot of skin care items on my face, neck, chest before the wedding. If you plump up your skin with more moisturizers, that will help it look tighter.
For your upper arms, the weight training will really help that area. I did a lot of upper body weights before my wedding. The muscles will fill out the skin where the fat was before.
I had some of the same issues before my wedding, and my pics turned out great.
Post # 3
A huge chunk of weightloss is down to eating – way more than exercise, or so I’ve been told. I’ve read where exercise can actually lead to greater caloric intake. Exercise is definitely necessary for health, but if losing weight is urgent, watch the calories like a dictator.
My mom is a little bit nuts. But she advised me to pack on the pounds prior to my wedding. She is super tiny in her bridal pictures, and they are almost a painful reminder to her of how in shape she once was vs the reality now. She’s almost embarassed of them, which is really sad. No matter how much I tell her she is beautiful now, she picks at herself.
Assuming you will continue on your health journey, you will be able to brag that you are 10 lbs, 20lbs, whatever lbs lighter than the day your spouse married you. Not something most people can say.
Realize that most people don’t get to be the pefect image of themselves on their wedding day, even the pretty people. They develop a zit, or they are 5 lbs more than what they wish. These people can be just as disappointed as the woman who was trying to lose 100 lbs.
Your Fiance obviously thinks your image is pretty kickin. Just saying!!!
Post # 4
I am not going to be the “perfect” image of myself on my wedding day and I have accepted that and am okay with it, but it is really making me just sad for my fiance and for myself that it may not be the happiest day of my life becasue of how I feel about myself due to the results of my progress.
I think to start, you need to stop kidding yourself–you may have accepted it, but you’re certainly not OK with it, or else it wouldn’t be making you sad. And you know what? That’s OK: you are allowed to have feelings that you need to work through.
Losing 25 lbs is awesome, congratulations! I don’t think it’s so terribly shocking that you’re less happy with how you look now than before. Perhaps you’re not used to your new body yet–how it looks and how to angle yourself with respect to a camera to show off your best assets (esp. if your best assests has changed!). Alternatively, perhaps you’re so focused right now on changing your body/weight that it’s easier to become more critical now than you were before. Also.. maybe your clothing no longer fits you well.
In any case, you said you don’t want suggestions on how to love yourself and be you, so I’ll give you some suggestions on how to look a little better.
1. Beat the bloat: Try drinking plenty of water and avoid anything carby or salty for a few days, and get yourself to a sauna/spa (ooh if you can find a korean spa or hammam those are F’n amazing) to sweat it out. Ironically, to really get any bloating down you may also want to lay off working out–I know I swell in response to workouts, at least, especially resistence workouts. I wouldn’t do this for the next 47 days, that’s overkill.. but I might do it once now to see how it works for you and help you feel better (plus you deserve a spa day! you’re killing it!) and then if it works, do it again right before the wedding.
2. Airbrush tan: it helps. Trust me. Just make sure you get yourself someone good.. hehe. I’d also do a trial one now (right after your spa day!) and if you like it one closer to the wedding.
3. Buy yourself two new outfits (or more, but just one I feel isn’t enough). Again, you’re killing it: you deserve a treat. Plus it’s impossible to look good in clothing that’s a size too big for you! If you hate this idea because you want to lose more and you’ll have to get rid of this clothing soon, then try out a clothing rental company–wear lots of different clothing in your (new) size and admire your new bod! I use Le Tote and recommend it, though I’m sure others exist.
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2016 - Presidio Log Cabin
I had a similar journey to yours and very much relate. I lost 40 pounds in the 5 months leading up to my wedding and had a workout schedule like yours (Zumba, pilates, weight training, tons of walking).
I would echo what PPs said about skincare and moisturizing, exfoliating and plumping the skin can give you a radiant glow. It sounds silly, but because I was getting up at 5am nearly everyday for workout classes and losing weight fairly quickly, I had dark circles under my eyes and less full cheeks, so investing in good makeup and concealer helped too.
As I neared the wedding I also treated myself with a massage, lash extensions, deep conditioning treatments for my hair, etc…basically beauty treatments that had nothing to do with weight loss but made me feel happy and lovely.
My upper arms are also my least favorite body part (they kill me…haha) so I also chose a wedding dress with long sleeves. If you don’t already have a dress with sleeves, maybe look now for a wrap or shawl you love that will make you feel more confident for photos.
And finally (sorry this is so long!) – tell your photographer your concerns! That way he or she can be sure to think about angles and posing to make your body and face look its best.
Good luck, bee!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey
When I was in my very early 20s I was so so skinny. But I absolutely hated how I looked, thought I was fat, masculine, horrible, you name it. I had a terribly perception about how I looked and how I thought the world saw me. Two stone heavier and two years later, I am FINALLY happy with my body just because I am happy with life in general. Yesterday my Fiance showed me old photos of myself from 2 years ago and I COULD NOT believe how skinny I looked, I looked anorexic.
My long winded point being, sometimes I think we have such low self esteem regarding our bodies that we lose sight of how we actually look to the rest of the world and that our own perception of ourselves is greatly skewed!
I am am sure you look so much better than you are making yourself out to be! The way you dress, groom, and pamper yourself can make world of difference to the way you feel about your body. It’s the one day you get married and get to feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, tell yourself you deserve to feel this way.
Post # 7
Cut out the two dance classes and replace with more weight training (or add them before/after your dog walks). You’ve lost some weight and aren’t seeing a difference because you need to tone up. You don’t need more cardio if you’re already watching your diet and cutting out sugar (by the way.. great job, that is so tough to do!).
Also cut out any and all carbonated or caloric drinks. Not even your favorite Starbucks drinks, no dairy – water, tea, etc. Do you belong to a gym with a sauna? After your work out, spend some time in the sauna before you shower. My face always shrinks and feels much thinner afterward!
Salt can also cause bloat to the face – limit salt intake.
Lastly if you can, add on 1-2 runs a week. The way the heart pumps blood to the entire body, plus with the motion of the arms, legs, and core, it’s the best all-body workout.
Post # 8
I started drinking at least 6 bottles of water a day, and it had reduced the bloating in my body. Everything thinks I have lost weight because my face is skinner, but really its just the water!!
Post # 9
I would introduce collagen into you diet, Vital Proteins is a good brand. It can really help to tighten up skin. Also, make sure you are taking a really good multivitamin, ideally from whole foods not synthetic. It can also help your skin repair faster. And cut out sugar full stop.