- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Need some help.
Was planning a destination wedding, but added another ceremony/reception here to appease family. Fiance and I both have family within 2 hours driving of L.A., so wanted to make sure it was within a certain vicinity so it was easy for both sides of the family.
Looking within that certain area, only a few locations could fit the number of people we wanted, and offered things that were something we wanted to offer such as open bar, a separate cocktail area, etc. I had explained to my family that we were looking to have a wedding early on in a certain month, and that sundays can be cheaper than saturdays. We found a place that fit our budget, offered most of what we wanted, and they only had a sunday available in the early part of the month that we wanted (our destination wedding would be the following week).
My mom had a huge stink about a sunday wedding, which she had not told me about before. We were willing to change it to saturday after learning that her friends and community actually think quite negatively about people who have weddings on sundays. We said we were going to change it to saturday, but that the venue only had a later part of the month saturday available. She said that we should be able to change it to the previous month or next month, who cares what time we wanted to get married.
Anyways, we changed the day to a saturday but she complained about not being involved, so we took her to the venues that we had narrowed it down to. She hated them, and made many derogatory remarks about it and the fact that we even liked it. She said that even doing the destination wedding was better than that place. So we said, okay, that’s what we originally wanted anyways, and I guess we can save some money then and budget more for the other wedding.
Next day, she called and apologized for making things so difficult, and I said ok, just dont worry, let’s move forward. When I went to finalize the destination wedding decision, she expected us to actually do the wedding again here in that same venue because she “apologized”. She was trying to make us change our mind again, even after my fiance and i decided we wouldn’t have one here anymore.
I stuck to my guns and said we were just going to have one in our destination location, because I feel this sets the tone for how much my fiance and I allow her to manipulate us, even though we tried so hard to work with her to have a wedding in both places. Now she’s trying to get other family members to tell me that I should have that wedding again in that venue that she originally said such derogatory remarks about.
Im just so fed up about everything and how they treat me, my fiance, and his family that I just want to elope. I know in asian cultures it might seem harsh but honestly I just don’t want to allow them to control my life anymore….
Can I get some feedback on this? I just cannot do everything just to make my mom “happy” when she will never be happy and will go out of her way to make me feel miserable so she can get what she wants…