Post # 1
My fiancé and I decided to elope as soon as we got engaged. His family anespecially his Mum are nor honest andreject so it’s hard to communicate or know what they feel. I have had a bad relationship with his mum and sister who are at times bitchy, judgmental and gossip alot. We decided to elope because a)money and b)my sister has a mental illness and I did not know of she might erupt at a wedding as she has caused scenes in the past. I love my sister and it hurts to say this but having her at a big celebration would cause me stress. I also don’t trust that my fiancés mum would handle things well with my sister. My Dad has passed away and in general my family situation isn’t great. I guess this has been a big motivator for eloping. Fiancé and I thought we would elope and then celebrate when we got home. As soon as we got engaged I asked finances family if it was ok for us to elope. twice his mum said that “it doesn’t bother us” and so I went ahead with organising an overseas wesiding for two.we decided on Paris because thought it would be romantic with just the two of us. Tonight his mum said they would come to Paris. My family can’t so that means it would just be his parents. I’m upset about this because I feel that it’s strange to have just the grooms parents. Also money is a factor and despite being able to help they haven’t given us straight up support or offered other choiceS for celebration and know that my parents can’t help. Had they offered to throw us a small wesding here, I would have found a better alternative. Also, his mum
Suggested she come on our honeymoon. I was in shock and didn’t know what to say, I just acted like it was a great idea that the two ous them join us in Europe for wesding and holiday. Seems a bit weird to just have the two of them there but I can’t say no because they are the parents. I feel like this is total dilemma !!
Post # 3
@allybee2013: Do you want them in Paris? Does your FI? Because there is nothing wrong with saying you want to go alone to Paris. Also, your honeymood is off limits. That belongs to you and your new husband alone.
Post # 4
@allybee2013: wow, this seems like a tough situation. I myself am concidering putting the idea of a big wedding away, and just either eloping or having a small ceremony here with our immediate family and closest friends. It would just be so much more stress free, and so much more financially realistic for our situation.
sorry, but the parents going on your honeymoon are a big no. You should be firm with that. She should understand it herself though, but if she keeps on insisting, just firmly tell her that this honeymoon is meant for you and your husband… I cant believe she suggested she go with you…
have you thought of having an at home ceremony? Maybe a court house wedding? I knwo its not as romantic as a Paris wedding, but at least it will be very cheap and you can have both sides of family there. Then you could celebrate at a noce restaurant, and go to Paris on your honeymoon. Alone. With no mom in law…
Post # 5
@allybee2013: I love your idea for a Paris elopement! I’m eloping due to similar issues with my own family so I know how difficult and sad it can be. I considered letting my in laws come to our elopement but just couldn’t get past how much of a reminder it would be that my family wasn’t there so we are continuing with our original plan to have no guests. I would try to explain to her that her comment caught you off guard and you offered a quick, polite response but you two have agreed to have a true elopement with no guests and you look forward to celebrating with her when you get home. And no, she cannot attend the honeymoon, that’s just crazy. Even though they’re his parents, you can say no to that. It’s hard but you absolutely have the right to do that.