(Closed) Wedding stress is making the wedding not worth it ….

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

*hugs* Hubby and I definitely had our fair share of stress! Twice we thought we’d cancel, and at one point I was seriously considering just throwing my hands in the air and running away and eloping! It all worked out in the end though, after many tears shed. My former boss warned me right from the getgo that wedding planning ALWAYS involves drama like this and that you just have to be the bigger person and move past it. Hopefully you’ll resolve this soon, and just keep your eye on the prize (BEING married at the end of it all!). *more hugs*

Post # 4
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

*HUGS* to you… I hope you two can resolve your issues.  I haven’t had any drama with wedding planning yet, but then again, we’re 10 months away.  Try to keep in mind what your ultimate goal is:  your marriage and vows and promise to be with each other and support each other no matter what.  If things get tough, don’t forget what REALLY matters.  I told Fiance that if this wedding planning stuff ever gets dramatic, I would want to stop and re-evaluate things.  It’s just not worth the drama and stress for ONE day.  What matters most is that we are happy and together. Period. 

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ohhhhhh crap – sending hugs Ms H as you are one bride on WeddingBee i really love following your plans

take a break from this and go do something enjoyable for an hour or 2, hot bath and manicure sounds nice doesnt it? and stand firm on what you want for your wedding, you have already given so much say to other people so its ok to put yourself first

hugs Ms H because the stresses you brides are put under is very unfair


Post # 6
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am SOOO with you. The first few months of wedding planning was more or less a breeze.  Sure, we didn’t always agree, but we got through things civilly.  The last few months–time bomb!!  I just keep the countdown in my mind at all times.  I have had days in the last couple of months where I thought how nice it would be to just run away!!  I also have had my share of drama with certain members of the future in-law family but I’ve been pretty good about standing firm.  If my Future Mother-In-Law gave me a list of 20 additional people  I would tell her too bad too sad–especially since she is not paying for anything except the rehearsal dinner!  My Fiance and I have been pretty strict about who family’s could invite since we are paying for most of it…I would put my foot down if I were you–say that you’ve already gotten an estimate for the wedding based on the smaller wedding size. If you say that she can invite the extra people but she has to pay for them–what would she do? Would she still want them? If not, then at least it seems like you are trying to meet her in the middle!

Post # 7
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am in the same situation.  Future Mother-In-Law keeps inviting people.  I finally screamed at her, "YOURE TURNING OUR WEDDING INTO A CIRCUS!  YOUVE TAKEN ALL OF TEH FUN OUT OF IT!  Thanks for that…"  Think it got the point across.  Fiance said something to her as well.  Just remember that she is excited too and it is her time to show off.  Perhaps she isnt thinking about money or the reason behind you wanting a more intimate wedding.  Talking to mine is like bashing my head into a concrete wall covered in sharded glass (serious) so I just stand my ground.  Yes, I was mean, but she doesnt get it any other way

Just keep in mind that youre at crunch time.  Even if you’ve not stressed once during the planning process, this time makes people crazy.  Reality (and pricetag) start setting in with all of the "yes" RSVPs and that causes innate stress.  If ya hold it in too long, you blow, like both you and I did.  Just try to unwind and relax and talk about your concerns calmly with Fiance and Future Mother-In-Law.  He needs to man up though, and talk to her too

Post # 8
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with this, but honestly if planning a wedding is making you don’t want to marry the groom, maybe y’all should sit down and talk? It’s stressful, sure, but it just seems like an awful lot of drama over something that is just not that big of a deal. Your relationship should be the most important thing and if both of y’all are so focused on the wedding and not on the marriage, you might run into problems later. I would suggest going to see somebody together soon. Because let me tell you that planning a wedding is the easiest part of being married. Just wait until you’re raising children together, combining finances, caring for sick parents. That’s the real stress. If you can’t work together through this, what’s going to happen then?

Post # 9
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am with you that I feel like the wedding stress is so much that it’s not worth it anymore.  I woke up today thinking why am I even having a wedding so these people, who give me sooo much grief, can come and share our special day.  I’d rather elope!!!!  We have only been engaged for less than 3 months, too, and everyone is giving me grief about stupid things.  We’ve put down our deposit for our venue now, or I’d seriously consider changing the wedding completely to maybe party of two. 

So sorry that you are going through this stress.  I hope everything works out for you.

Post # 10
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We went through this too; it sucks. It’s awful. We decided to elope and I’m not saying everyone should, but at least in our case once we decided to elope, we were happy again. I’m so excited about marrying my Fiance, I can hardly wait. All the little details of which veil to wear and which flowers to put in my bouquet are fun and exciting. My Fiance has gone on a multi-week quest to choose the best hair flower for me from etsy. We smile thinking about the honeymoon and are planning a date for the day we pick up our wedding license before the ceremony day. Sometimes it’s good to just jettison the stress instead of keep it with you.

I’m so sorry you’re fighting. *hugs* Best of luck. A long talk with a bottle of wine can really help clear things up.

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