(Closed) wedding stress… “things will be better after the wedding”

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

absolutely ditto except i have 6 months. FH wanted to save alot of money, so i have been.. DIYing the hell out of this wedding. We had a big talk last night how Im tired of working a 40hr week and then coming home and doing wedding stuff till midnight on top of that, as trying to keep a relatively normal life because FH was complaining that we dont go out and party anymore or stay out late.. I gave him my reasons above and also that we are on a tight budget as well i have had extra bills recently due to health and yes all FH cares about is the alcohol, dj and the cars and is interested in the honeymoon and the rest is up to me.

I hear the it will be better after the wedding.. its not that were sick of each other, but will both be stoked when our wedding is over and the marriage begins!

The best decision is to make sure you have about 30 mins to yourself doing something you like. I listen to music for half hour while reading a book to help me relax but its hard and vent your concerns to FH your a team!  I did to FH and hes been helping me out like a busy bee today and its such a relief to have a hand in stuff even tho hes not interested much.

Hang in there!

Post # 4
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

JuneBride- You’re not the only one that has gone through this.  I got married Oct. ’09 and was going through the same thing.  I was overwhelmed with the little details always worrying if i was making the right choices and coping with a close family members death and the fact that he wouldn’t be there.

 After 2 years of planning my husband just wanted to get to the alter.  He kept saying “i can marry you in your parents backyard for all i care”.  Although that made me even more mad & we argued over the stupid stuff, I realized he was right.  We both wanted the day to come and go & to just start our lives as 1.  Now that I look back on it, I don’t think the stress and drama was neccessarily all worth it, but as a “couple”, my husband and I are the best we have ever been!

Hang in there – try not to go completely crazy and I promise everything will be just fine =)

Post # 5
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I understand how you feel my fiance says he doesn’t care about the details and when I make a decision and have done all the work he chimes in with a different idea.  That can drive me crazy b/c I don’t think he understanda how much work I have already done and what it takes to change thngs.  We had a couple of spats over planning but have learned not to stress it.  I’m sure things will get better starting with your wedding day.  Then you have to worry about family planning LOL ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Oh this totally happened to me. It was like I had wedding brain. All I could talk about or worry about or plan about was the wedding, whereas my husband was relatively uninvolved. It created a problem for us because he felt overwhelmed by the incessant chatter about things out of his control. Other areas of our life atrophied because of it and at times I felt like we were growing apart.

Well, you know what, it WAS better after the wedding! What a relief not to have to worry about all those little details. We reconnected and relaxed, especially on the honeymoon. I recommend you try to carve definitive times out of your week to have a wedding-free zone. We did this and it made a big difference. In some ways my husband was more comfortable talking with me because he knew I wouldn’t suddenly segue into wedding-talk. It was hard to stop myself too; I never realized how much I was talking about the wedding until I had to force myself to stop. Good luck and you will make it!

Post # 7
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sigh. I feel you. My living room has been covered in STD stuff for two weeks. And the floor is sticky from spray adhesive. I’m having meltdown after meltdown about it!

Post # 8
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I know how you feel; we went through a similar experience. He wasn’t really involved much in the planning, which worked best for both of us, but as a result he didn’t understand why I was always “doing wedding stuff”. It will get better after the wedding, and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now!

Post # 9
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You have to remember that even though it’s a lot of money and a lot of time, it IS just a day. If that’s all you can think about for that much time, I would be in the same camp as your hubby – annoyed. You have to force yourself to have a 2 track brain – wedding, and everything else. You don’t want to miss out on such a fun time with your husband – the engagement! – b/c you are contantly fretting over flowers in a centerpiece or whatever that day’s drama is.  Sorry girl but that’s what you need to hear!

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Stuff DOES get better after the wedding, but also realize that life will get stressful again–there’ll be babies that you always focus on, the house, etc. Try to set aside some non-wedding time now. It’ll help reset your brain and get you in the habit of now allowing any single thing to completely take over your life! It makes me feel like i’m losing control, personally. I had a no-wedding stuff day every week the closer i got to the wedding. Happy hour? Yes please, but no wedding talk allowed! It makes a world of difference.

Post # 12
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

haha! maybe since you are such a planner, maybe plan that every Wednesday is Wedding Free Wednesday! Then you can have a goal for that day – to have fun, make out, to watch tv, to do whatever other fun activities you’re missing out on with wedding stuff. The 17 wednesdays will not make a huge dent in your list of things to do but will go a long way with your fiance for sure!

Post # 13
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

MY fiance states that i’m addicted to anything wedding and instead of going to a wedding i should be going to a 12 step program.

Post # 14
Member
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I totally feel you on this.

Post # 15
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Been there, done that. Your are not alone in allowing it to take over your life. I wish we had had some more wedding free time. I also wish that I hadn’t spent so much time looking itno things and dreaming about ideas that wre never going to be possible and had just gotten things done early. I didn’t help that I sold a condo and moved in the month before the wedding.

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