(Closed) Wedding tasks to give FMIL

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I hate to break it to you, but if she is helping pay, she is allowed to have an input.

you could have her plan the rehearsal dinner/ see if you can get your bridesmaids to invovle her in your bridal shower, etc.

Post # 4
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@lovelyduckie:  My Mother-In-Law helped me decopage all of our vases for our centerpieces.  She is a very talented painter so she painted wine glasses for my girls as well as hangers.  She also baked cupcakes for our rehearsal dinner.

Post # 6
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 35 years ago my Mother-In-Law did nothing. Didn’t ask. Didn’t care. Paid for the (inexpensive) rehearsal dinner and then didn’t even attend. My parents paid for everything for the wedding.

I gave my mother 1 task – find a photographer. Almost all prints had little white spots on them and had to be reprinted. I was not a control freak or Bridezilla, but sometimes you have to have control or risk something happening that you will later regret.  

Fast forward to my daughter’s wedding, 2013. The Mother-In-Law is arranging and paying for the rehearsal. That’s all. Definately not what I would have chosen, but it’s up to her. Sometimes it’s just not worth the hassle, for the dollar amount they’re willing to contribute.  

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee

My partner and I are seriously trying to keep his mum and sister from interfering in our wedding plans!! We are having a destination wedding (in the same state), and have decided to keep most of our plans to our selves until now – choosing to sacrifice a formal engagement. It has been fun though, planning our wedding in secret. We are telling his mum today, so hoping all will go well…she can be scary!! I know how you feel lovelyducky!!  My biggest challenge with my fiances mum is that she will want a BIG say in my dress and those of my bridesmaids…which I absolutely oppose because our fashion ideals are veeeeeeeery different and she will not hold back in telling me that she doesn’t like whatever it is that I want. Plus we are paying for it all, so I do not see why she should have an opinion.

On the other hand, I too am trying to find ways to incorperate our mothers into our wedding. I am very close with mine, but I have my step-dad walking me down the aisle, my sister is my maid of honour, and my other sister is taking care of the music. Mum desperately doesn’t want to make a speech. I have suggested to my fiance that it would be nice if he can dance with his mum during the father-daughter dance. I don’t think that my mum is too fussed about being too involved – she is going through everything with me, which is nice – but it bothers me that I don’t have a formal role for her.

I think that what you are suggesting is plenty of contribution on behalf of your Mother in Law…remember it is your day, not hers.

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