(Closed) Wedding "Thank-You" emails?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Personally I would find it exceptionally rude. There is a lot more meaning in a handwritten card than a typed email.

Post # 4
1736 posts
Bumble bee

From Emily Post:

  • Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding web site in lieu of a personal note. 

This is one rule of etiquette that I think you should stick to. Send a personal, hand-written note!

Post # 5
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i always prefer hand-written thank yous. I think they are much more personal and it shows the time and thought that you put in them.

Post # 6
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss Mochaccino:  I wouldn’t do it.  I think that taking the time to sit down and hand write a thank you note is the best way to express thanks for a gift that someone puts time and(/or) money into.

Post # 8
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just tell him that you understand its expensive, but its worth every penny to properly express your gratitude to people that took time out of their schedules to spend the most important day of your life with you (and probably gave you some killer gifts!)

Post # 9
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think an email thank you would be very rude and impersonal.  I would explain to your Darling Husband that, yes, it is expensive, but your guests took time, effort, and money to come to your wedding and get you a nice gift and the least you can do is spend $1.00 on a nice thank you card.


Post # 10
1274 posts
Bumble bee

I would feel really uncomfortable sending a thank you this way and equally uncomfortable receiving one this way. I think a hand written note is the best way to go. I don’t think it matters if it’s hand delivered over sent in the mail though. As long as it gets to the intended person. 🙂 

Post # 11
1699 posts
Bumble bee

To be honest, I do not mind in the least receiving email thank-yous.

Case in point: the younger bees have pointed out to me numerous times that ladies of the twenty-first century are unacquainted with the concept of bread-and-butter notes; those polite missives that guests are supposed to send to their hostess the day after a party, thanking her for the lovely evening. But last summer I gave a series of garden parties; and after each I received a series of lovely spontaneous emails and private Facebook messages from many of my gen-X guests telling me what a good time they had. Yes, my peers sent traditional note-cards and I liked receiving those; and yes as usual many of the guests sent nothing. But I would be foolishly stuck on the non-essentials, if I found those honest and kind emails “rude”. And, if not rude when thanking someone for the gift of personal attention and hospitality, how much less rude would it be when thanking someone for a mere material gift?

Still, I would not advise sending email — yet. The time will come when email thank-you notes are as unexceptional as ball-point pen notes are now (I remember when ball-point pen was considered “cheap”: appropriate for writing shopping-lists but not for proper letters.) But right now, as you can see above, too many people do find email not traditional enough. A thank-you note that insults or offends, even if it is less costly than paper and stamps, is really not very sincere, is it? I am inclined to agree with your dear husband’s inevitable next argument, that being insulted or offended over the superficial format when it is the thanks themselves that matter, is rather silly. But the fact is that people do care, and since they do, a decent spirit of gratitude would accommodate the superficialities that people care about.

Post # 12
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think an email thank you is in poor taste.

Post # 13
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

+1 on what aspasia475 said. In a way, we’re all so getting used to using email and internet and text to communicate more and more, but even I, who am usually very laid back, think a handwritten card or note is much more appreciated. I think I would be ever so slightly put off if I did get an email just because I know what is still proper and more polite. That said, I’d much rather have a sincerely written and very personal email than a cookie cutter, pre-printed generic thank you card that was simply signed but looked quite fancy.

Post # 14
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m not usually the type to worry too much about what people are *supposed* to do, but in this case, I would be a little bit thrown off.

An email thank you would be better than nothing, but I think your guests would much prefer a written thank you note.

Post # 15
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’d consider it rude.

Post # 16
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I recommend sending handwritten notes only, not e-mail, for wedding thank-you notes.  I actually ordered engraved informals that coordinated with my invitation suite and wedding programs, and I love them! (I’m sort of a paper/printing nerd. 🙂

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