(Closed) Wedding this weekend and I am having some issues..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2081 posts
Buzzing bee

Sometimes your friends become your family.  Sometimes even people who care about you just can’t get away financially or timewise even for special occassions.  I think there are some mixed issues here.  It is too bad your family can’t come to support you especially when your parents can’t be there and these other family members would be kind of symbols for you of your lost parents but chin up.  You have a fiance who loves you and 100 people it sounds like that are able to come and see you get married.  I can’t relate just wanted to say I think you’re doing the right thing when you remember you are lucky to have these caring friends and fiance’s family who can be there for you.

Post # 3
4095 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Thats so disappointing, especially after having such an incredibly hard couple years. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom & dad! I agree that things come up and life is life, but shame on your family for not being there for you, for this day and when your parents passed.

I dont have any real substantial advice except try to ignore it. I know I was disappointed every time I recevied a “no” RSVP, and those who said “yes” then didnt show up without any real excuse (ahem, step-brother), it sucky!! But it sounds like you have an awesome support system, which is all a family really is anyways. Lean on them, enjoy your time, and try to focus on the positives! Soon you’ll have a brand-new shiny family you can count on!

Congratulations, I hope your wedding is incredibly beautiful and that you have a ton of wonderful memories with your new husband!


Post # 4
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Sunset Hills Country Club


mwmw89:  I have not been in your position, but I feel for you. I feel that with your wedding so close that you need to dwell one day, but look forward to having a new tight-knit family. One that loves AND supports you. I know first hand (my wedding was 9 days ago) that you will not even know who all is at your wedding and who isn’t. I had more than 140 RSVP yes to my wedding and around 100 actually showed up. I’ve been looking at our signing picture we had instead of a guest book, and I keep saying “Oh, I didn’t know _____ was at the weding!” I know it’s going to be so extremely difficult to face the day without your family there, but at the end of the day you’re going to have a new family who will be there, which is more than some people I know. I will be thinking about you on yor big day, and I am wishing you all the luck and love in the world.

Post # 5
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally get it. I lost my moma few years before my weddings and it’s hard going through big life events without your parents. I was lucky that I still have my dad, but my mom was a single parent most of my life and we were extremely close, so it was still hard. In those times, extended family and friends can be a huge comfort. I was lucky to have aunts and uncles and cousins to come support me.

That being said, there’s not much you can do about your family being lame and bailing at the last minute. See if you can drop your numbers with your venue, even if it’s past the date – it can’t hurt to ask. 

Overall, I would try to think about “family” in a broader term. We can create our own families. My mom and I moved away from her family when I was very young and the friends she made became our family. I’m still close with many of them, even after she passed and I’m living in a different town. Because they’re family. We just don’t happen to share genetics. So you do have family that will be there to support you. It’s just not the family that you were born into. But they still love you and support you. I think all you can do is focus on these awesome people who are now your family and try to let go of the hurt from the family that isn’t coming. Easier said than done, but I bet it will get easier as things get swinging and people arrive from out of town! Have a great wedding and take the time to really think about and appreciate all the people that are there for you and your husband.

Post # 6
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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mwmw89:  my situation is different in a way, but i thought it might help you to know that i can relate…

my parents divorced when i was 5 (i have a relationship with them both), i am an only child and have a VERY small number of family members who keep in contact with me (literally about 10 including my parents). my dad’s mother never had a relationship with me, but maintained a relationship with a lot of her other children and grandchildren (i don’t get it – apparently it had to do with the fact that she didn’t like my mother when my parents got married)…well…she started getting very sick in the month or two before my wedding with cancer, and she passed away 2 days before my wedding, and her funeral was scheduled for the same day as my wedding. now don’t get me wrong…i would NEVER have expected anyone to choose my wedding over her funeral because its obvious what is more important…but it still hurt my feelings to have 2 of the most important of those 10 family members not be a part of my wedding day because of a woman who didn’t even acknowledge me as her granddaughter. very painful. and tough to not be a total brat. i am so sorry you aren’t getting the chance to have your family there. i know that feeling. BUT i also know the feeling of having a husband with an AMAZING family that loves me as their own, and a network of friends that is unmatched. enjoy your day with the people who love you most 🙂

Post # 7
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
mwmw89:  I know its rough and I def feel for you :-(. I couldn’t imagne losing both my parents. Just try to focus on the positive and let the rest go. When your wedding comes you won’t even notice who is there and who isn’t, youll be so happy and in love with your new husband everything else fades away

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