(Closed) wedding was disastrous

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

njsk:  Aw! I’m sorry you don’t feel like you looked your best at your wedding! I can understand why you’d be bummed about that. But I certainly wouldn’t say that your wedding was disastrous! Think about your ceremony and marrying the love of your life! Think about being surrounded by your friends and family. Think about the commitment you made to your husband. Think about the fun you had at the reception, celebrating your new marriage. All of these things are way more important than how pretty you look in pictures. I’d rather see a bride with sweaty hair and smeared makeup that is smiling with joy and love for her husband than a perfectly made up bride who is more interested in herself than her husband. The beauty of a bride is in the love she’s expressing for her partner. I’m sure you were a beautiful bride! I wouldn’t recommend trying to re-do your wedding because you already had your wedding. If you want some nice pictures, you could always do a post wedding photo shoot with your new hubby! But I would really try to stop focusing on the negatives you felt on your wedding day and start focusing on the positives and on your marriage!

Post # 17
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

njsk:  You didn’t mention your Fiance (not DH) once during that entire post…

Post # 18
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Nontra:  I tell myself that when wedding planning!  Love that show!

Post # 19
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

njsk:  pics or it didn’t happen. 

I’m sure you looked like a beautiful bride. I looked like shit on my wedding day. Like, for real, I looked worse than I’ve ever seen myself lol but now I look back on my photos and all I can see is how happy I was. That is all that matters in the end. Focus on what matters 

Post # 20
239 posts
Helper bee

njsk:  i can certainly see where you’re coming from, but tbh it’s rediculous! every bride will tell you that a lot of things go wrong. You still married the person you love. You still celebrated with friends and family. If you really hate the pics you can do a day where you and Darling Husband get dressed up again and take some more. Whatever you do quit stressing. It’s over and not changing. You didn’t fail, you guys are happily married! ๐Ÿ™‚ you need to think of this in a different light and turn it into something positive. Ex. Instead of ‘it was supposed to be a perfect day but my hair was messed up’, think: ‘my hair wasn’t perfect but I still married my perfect man’. quit thinking about one day of your whole life together. People put way too much pressure on weddings anymore. and besides, I bet your Darling Husband thought you looked absolutely beautiful! Congratulations!!!

Post # 21
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

njsk:  I definitely would agree with some of the previous posters. You are completely focusing on the wrong things and it is making you go crazy – but you know what – it really is ALL in your head! Clearly, your husband thinks you looked beautiful. Wedding hype makes women go crazy thiunking that your wedding is is about looking the best you have ever looked before. It is SO easy to get swept away in that craze. In reality, your wedding day has nothing to do with how you looked, and everything to do with creating a solid foundation toward your comitment to your Fiance by vowing, in front of friends and family, your love for each other always. Its about the start of your forever, emphasis on the forever. I’m sorry you got swept up in this “bride MUST be perfect looking or wedding is ruined” craze – if you love your husband, he loves you, and you made vows to eachother, your wedding was perfect. There are SO many lonely people out there that go to bed every night dreaming that they would one day have a wedding like yours, even if they didn’t feel like they looked good, they were standing net to someone who was commiting to them for life. learn to appreciate that!! 

Post # 22
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

But you got married to your husband, right? That is the best part! All the other stuff is superfluous. I know it’s painful to relive now, but one day the “disaster” will just be fond memories that you’ll laugh about. Congratulations on getting married!

Post # 23
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Haddonfield, NJ

I once heard that the worse the wedding, the better the marriage.

Just a thought. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 24
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Do you have the means to have photos of you in your dress and veil retaken?  At least you would have some with your hair and makeup done the way you really wanted them. 

Post # 25
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Oh Goodness, I am sure it is not even that bad as you think it is.

Please show us pictures when you get them ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry you had a bad time of it all. Just remember that you married your best friend, and at the end, that’s the important thing! Maybe you guys can have a special one year anniversary photo shoot that will help offset your feelings about the wedding day. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 27
811 posts
Busy bee

Think of all the things that could’ve gone even more wong though – like the venue canceling on you, people being snowed in out of town and not being able to make it, your groom not showing up. The party may not have been executed to your ideal liking, but it could’ve been worse! I think you lucked out if you think of it that way ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 28
3223 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

heputaringonit: My thoughs exactly. To me a disastrous wedding is your husband not showing up or someone ruining the vows or the priest losing the paperwork so nothing is legal. Finding out your husband got an “accidental” handjob right after you hear “you may kiss the bride” or that he sold your dog for drug money is something to lose sleep over/not be able to get over.

But OP, I think you’ve lost sight of what your wedding is about. If you got married to your husband and you love him and this is the man you want to spend your life with – your wedding was a success. No one (other than your husband) is obligated to help you plan your wedding, I’m pretty sure a lot of us on here planned our own wedding (I’m solely planning mine). I’m sorry it stressed you out so much, but again, I think it’s because you put too much value in to what is, essentially, a party. Try to gain insight again in to what the important part of the day was – your marriage, which sounds like it’s going well. 

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