Post # 16
Thank you. I did say something to my planner and she said it was too late. we went to take photos and she told the guest to eat. You and the other bees are right. I have to look at the most important details and that is being with my husband and our family.
Post # 17
while this certainly sucks and your planner is at fault, this is also just life. You said you all were talking about everything that was missed instead of enjoying the day.
this is some tough love, but that was your choice. It was your choice to focus on what went wrong.
So flip it around. What went right? I mean, you can’t change it so there’s no point lamenting it any further. Look for the good and focus on it.
Post # 18
Id want a refund from that planner, she sounds completely incompetent BUT Im sure your guests didnt notice these issues like you did atleast. Im sorry the day was stressful.
Post # 19
I understand you are upset but you posted this (I thought) to receive words of encouragement to look on the brighter side of things. You can’t change what happened but you can look at what went right (like you marrying the love of your life) and try to accept the smaller (by comparison) things that went wrong.
Also, the guests probably had a great time and did not notice any of the missing things. And their food probably wasn’t cold. So that is a plus too!
Post # 20
absolutely did speak to her during the ceremony, before I jumped the broom
Post # 21
I’m sorry : ( it sounds like you are looking for validation, and I totally get that. You can’t be expected to be the bride and the coordinator AND be able to enjoy yourself. I’m pretty sure anybody would be upset but this, even the bees who seem to only want to criticize you.
I would be really upset as well. I’m sure it was hard to be in the moment wen you are constantly juggling and waiting for more things to go wrong.
I’m trying to think if anything can be salvaged. Where did your coordinator come from? Is there any way you can get money back, given the circumstances?
Are your photos at least beautiful?
Post # 22
What did you say? I just don’t understand, you mentioned that the unity candle, the rose ceremony, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, not receiving the cake, and just were told no weren’t allowed to do them?
Post # 23
Thank You. My caterer referred her to me and she is not willing on giving any money back. My husband is the one who is really trying to pursue that he was really mad by the end of reception. I just kind of cried and sat at our table and expressed my feelings to her. We talked everyday and I mean everyday until the I got to the venue. I spoke to her about timelines and schedules and everthing. I asked about the unity candle and rose ceremony. She forgot our mothers roses. Thank you so much. I am just going to focus on the marriage and our new family. We havent gotten the photos back and she has not given me the photographers contact information either. I asked for it because she is the one who referred the DJ, photogprapher and makeup artist to me. I do not have any of their contacts I paid everything through her.
Post # 24
She told me it was too late to do everything. I had the venue from 8am until 1am the next morning. I feel as though she should have set up earlier
Post # 25
Fortunately, your wedding really only is one day. Even if it had gone perfectly, it still would be over in 6-8 hours. You do have a lifetime of good memories to look forward to. If you have some nice pictures, at least.
Edit: Saw your post. I’m sorry, it sounds like you did all you could. It might not be worth the aggravation to continue to pursue getting money back, but I understand if you or your husband wants to. Good luck bee!
Post # 27
It has helped to hear feedback from the Bees. It helps me redirect my thoughts and focus on whats important
Post # 28
Don’t feel guilty for being disappointed, I think you have a right to feel like those you counted on/paid for their services, dropped the ball. I wouldn’t say your wedding was ruined, but I can definitely understand you feeling upset. ((((hugs))))
I think part of the problem is that we tend to make someone’s problems relative to more serious problems and this isn’t fair, it trivializes someone’s feelings just because comparatively someone else has it worse. No, nothing tragic or truly awful happened at your wedding, but this doesn’t mean you can’t feel hurt or upset when a day you worked so hard to plan and meant so much to you was fraught with others letting you down. So yes, many of these issues can be classified as ‘first world problems’ but it doesn’t lessen the fact that you felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in your dress, sad that parts of the ceremony that were important and special to you like the moms’ roses and the unity candle were left off.
I think we need to remember that almost all of us have been hurt or upset by ‘first world problems’ and that sometimes what we really need is a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to, a friendly comforting person to let us have our moment to deal with disappointment without being told it’s not a big deal or worth being upset over. It’s not good to dwell on it endlessly, of course not, but often venting about it, maybe even having a cry over it, actually helps a person to put it behind them.
I’m sorry so many things went wrong Bee. Yes, you’re happily married now and of course you’re going to focus on this, but don’t feel badly for being human- go ahead and vent in here or over wine with a best friend or sister or commisserate with your new husband.
Post # 29
You’re allowed to be upset. I know I would be! I’m an event planner and she completely screwed up your day! You pay a coordinator to make sure nothing is missed. Unfortunately, you cannot go back and redo it, but I think there are a couple of things you can do.
- Find out the contact information of all these vendors. You have their names, you can find their facebook, websites, etc.
- Once you feel secure that your wedding coordinator can’t screw you over any further, calmly write down all the issues that came up and write a fair and honest review anywhere she is listed. Is she a certified planner? Send the complaints to her association as well. Make sure you do this when you’re no longer at your peak anger level so you don’t come across irrational.
- I’m not sure what a rose ceremony is but is there something special you can do with your husband and mothers? Maybe invite them over and recreate it?
Post # 30
Exactly on point. There’s no reason to feel guilty for being upset at what happened. It happened. You were disappointed. You’re human and you’re allowed. Now you can work on getting past it and being happy in your new life. I’ve dealt with a life-threatening illness, and believe me it doesn’t keep you from getting aggravated at all of life’s other annoyances, big and small. I was still mad at traffic when I had cancer! Anyway, I’m sorry. I do believe time will lessen your disappointment. Congrats on your marriage.