(Closed) Wedding–waste of money?

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: How do you feel about how much your wedding is costing you?
    I'm not paying for it so I don't have any strong feelings about it. : (14 votes)
    7 %
    I'm going over what I intended to spend but it's my big day and it's worth every penny. : (28 votes)
    15 %
    I'm being budget conscious (finding deals) and feel like overall it's worth it. : (77 votes)
    40 %
    I feel like I'm spending too much and it's not worth it for one day of celebrating. : (47 votes)
    24 %
    I acknowledge that we're spending a lot but I saved/planned for this. : (27 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @lawbride88:  We just wanted a Destination Wedding with our immediate families and grandparents….well his parents are paying, so they added, then mine added, then his Future Mother-In-Law kept wanting it to be nicer and have more things and his Future Father-In-Law didn’t care if we spent more as long as it was “Nice” and so now its way way more than I ever imagined it would be and I feel really bad, but i’m not the one who keeps wanting these things and its all great, so I just go with the flow lol

    Post # 4
    750 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I totally feel like it’s not worth it…so Fiance and I are having a destination wedding with our closest friends and families. The wedding itself will likely be thrown in for free by the resort, for us, it’ll be all about the vacation!

    I have to say, though, that there’s a reason you chose the wedding you did, and you will LOVE it. It will be an amazing day.

    Post # 5
    2556 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Our budget grows weekly.  At least it feels that way.  We aren’t spending more than we can afford (and save), but, dang, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get sad every time I thought about how much we will end up spending.  Totally a decent house downpayment.

    Post # 6
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Our wedding is over and we spent a little below the national average, but still a substantial amount of money. The majority of it was gifted to us by our parents, with us picking up about 15% of the tab (plus honeymoon) but I would have spent just about as much if we were paying for it ourselves.

    Worth EVERY penny. We cut in areas that weren’t important to us and splurged in areas that were. I don’t regret a thing. Totally worth it – it was an awesome process to plan it, an amazing weekend, and such fantastic memories. 100% worth it.


    Post # 8
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013


    I don’t know if this encourages you, but starting about 3 weeks before the wedding, I was SO OVER IT. That lasted right up until the rehearsal dinner. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to pay for it, I didn’t want to have to run a last minute errand, I didn’t want to answer questions, I was just over it (and I loved planning it up to that point). I think you just get burnt out and the pressure is ON in the last few weeks no matter how prepared you were. That’s when other people start paying attention and actually start asking questions and it gets crazy. There was a moment or two where I did think “Ugh, should we have just done a simple all-inclusive destination wedding or a courthouse thing?”

    I hope you have the same experience I did – once we actually got to the weekend of, it was awesome. But the last few weeks, and ESPECIALLY the last 4 days beforehand… kind of hellacious.

    Post # 9
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    To me, even though I am really trying to keep the budget low – $15,000 in NJ is a very low budget – I can’t help think that I would rather spend the money on a great vacation.   Fiance is the one who wanted the traditional party for friends and family.   I could have gone to the courthouse and then taken a nice vacation. 

    Post # 11
    3053 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    It’s not worth it to me which is why we’re having a small Destination Wedding. It’s still costing a lot more than I would like but it’s still much better than a big shindig at home. We’re looking at 3 or 4 big vacations in the next few years and I’d much rather go on ALL of those without worry than pick one and have a big wedding.

    Post # 12
    1781 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We’re spending more than what we originally planned and it stressed me out in the beginning, but now that we are toward the end of our planning, we’re spending more and more without guilt.


    It’s going to be one of the biggest days of our lives and I want it to be memorable and perfect! In a few months all of the planning, budgeting, money, wedding researching, and meetings will be over. We would have had an amazing day with family and friends, relaxed in cancun for 8 days, and will spend forever together! I say it’s worth it. We’re spending a lot but we won’t have any wedding debt once we’re finished. People that are in debt after their wedding probably had a wedding they couldn’t afford– and that is something I wouldn’t consider! 

    Post # 13
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @lawbride88:  I am a very pratical person.


    Our wedding was a Destination Wedding elopement with H’s parents as our witnesses.  We spent $3,300 on everything wedding related, even ring and photography.


    After hauling my dress over the boarder to Canada for the 15 minute ceremony, I thought for one instant, “Man we could have done this at the courthouse and THEN gone on the vacation!”  OK, it was just for an instant because I truly enjoyed the whole wedding day, the photos, having the dress, we went for a wedding day hike too!  It was all us. 


    The entire trip was $7,000 – so that’s everything wedding related, plus 10 nights and 11 days food/lodging for a Canadian Mountain road trip. 

    Post # 14
    2756 posts
    Sugar bee

    I want a big wedding, and I will probably get one (that I won’t have to pay for). It’s daunting to think of, sure, but at the same time it’s what I want and I feel like if we *can* then why not? SO and I are both outgoing people who love throwing and hosting big parties. I see our future wedding as another awesome party, and it will be worth it for the fun times had by all and the memories (plus the bonus of us committing our love and devotion to one another in front of family & friends and starting the awesome adventure of a life together as husband and wife).

    It is what you want it to be. I think people who want something small shouldn’t be forced into something large, but those who want a big party shouldn’t feel bad about that either. There are plenty of things I see as a waste of money that mean a lot to the people who buy/do them, after all.

    Post # 15
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @MissCalifornia:  That’s a good point. For me, a wedding is a huge waste of money. But if it’s not my money and if someone else decides to have one, I don’t really care as it doesn’t impact me. I’m sure some people would think my car is a waste of money, so it’s all about what’s important to you and what you can afford.

    I just care about the commitment, not the actual wedding. We’re going away so I see it as a vacation where we happen to be signing a piece of paper showing the government we are committed.

    Post # 16
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @lawbride88:  I felt the same way in the 4-6 weeks leading up to the wedding, but after it was over, both SO and I agreed it was totally worth it.  Hugs!

    The topic ‘Wedding–waste of money?’ is closed to new replies.

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