(Closed) Wedding Website Headaches – Invites and etiquette??  

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’m a little confused here. Why are you having people RSVP before sending out your invitations? Usually save the dates serve as a notice/heads-up but do not require any type of response. Expecting a response before sending out an invitation seems a bit backwards to me.

Post # 3
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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missjoy0819 :  I was wondering the same but thought maybe I misinterpreted the OP.

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wolfeyes :  We’ve had a few RSVP’s already after sending save the dates but they weren’t requested or expected. A few people just wanted to do so while browsing our website.

Post # 5
7800 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sending out a formal RSVP after someone has already RSVPd is a waste of time and money IMO.

Yes, its inital headache to get all the addresses, but I think you’re better off reversing the order – so get all the addresses, send a paper invite and have them RSVP on the site.

OR Keep with your initial plan, and use the addresses people give you for thank you cards. I religiously check my junk mail folder because all sorts of stuff goes in there, but Fiance has like 5000+ things in there, he would never find this. So I would keep that in mind.

FTR – we got all the addresses, sent paper STDs, will be sending paper invites, and have a website to RSVP. I think you’re trying to make it easier for yourself by not collecting addresses, but you’re shooting yourself in the foot later when you have to track down all the people who didn’t get the invite at all.

eta – its also not *that* difficult to get all the addresses. It seems like a ton of work at first, but if you have 100 people, thats probably like 75% couples, who are 1 address, the rest could be friends who you can just text. If any of your family has hosted a wedding recently, they might have a bunch of addresses on file. I asked my mom and my aunt and between them we got all of my family addresses, Fiance did the same with his mom. So it sounds daunting, but in reality, its not that much work.

Post # 6
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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missjoy0819 :  
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heavenlyflower :  I think she is using the term RSVP a bit loosely, to mean that the guests who receive email STD’s are requested to respond to the website with their mailing address.

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wolfeyes :  Although obtaining mailing addresses through the website would be ideal for you as it lessens your workload, in reality, if the guests don’t respond, you are in the same situation that couples were in before the internet. They had to contact people for their mailing address too.

You can either wait till closer to the date you plan to mail your invitations to see how many addresses you still need, or you can start updating your list now through family and friends.

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