Post # 1
So my original plan was to use the wedding website http://www.withjoy.com and send save the dates via email – I figured getting everyone’s emails would be a hell of a lot easier than getting everyone’s mailing addresses (because I already had most of them) and then when people RSVP on the site, they’re asked to put in their mailing address. With that, I was going to send out paper invitations just to add a touch of formality and remind everyone to check the website again because all of the details would then be up.
So, Headache One: After spending a ton of time compiling all of the information, photos, and guest list on the site, I sent a test Save the Date to myself and it went straight to my junk folder. I messaged the company about it and learned that basically anyone with a gmail account (which was most of the list) was going to have it sent to their junk mailbox. Panic ensued because I was already super behind and my mom and I ended up emailing every one one by one – which also meant we didn’t have the same cool email template that I’d been planning on.
Headache Two: If people don’t RSVP before it’s time to send out the invites, I’m not even going to have their mailing address. When you’re doing paper save the dates I think the wedding invites can remind people they need to RSVP, but in this situation you can’t even send invites UNTIL they have RSVP’d.
How did everyone else that used a website maneuver this? Will I now just need to go around emailing everyone that hasn’t RSVP’d for their mailing address? It feels kind of pushy to me to send the save the date, contact them personally for their address when they’ve chosen not to RSVP yet, and then send the invites. I would like to give them the space to politiely decline without feeling harassed.
(Note: If it matters, the wedding is big – about 150 people – but pretty informal )
Thanks in advance!!
Post # 2
I’m a little confused here. Why are you having people RSVP before sending out your invitations? Usually save the dates serve as a notice/heads-up but do not require any type of response. Expecting a response before sending out an invitation seems a bit backwards to me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
I was wondering the same but thought maybe I misinterpreted the OP.
We’ve had a few RSVP’s already after sending save the dates but they weren’t requested or expected. A few people just wanted to do so while browsing our website.
Post # 4
Yes sorry, that’s part of what I got confused about, a lot of it is just me not really understanding the purpose/process of the site. I thought that one of it’s main purposes was to help with collecting mailing addresses or avoid that entirely, as well as to simplify/streamline the save the dates. but realized that you couldn’t actually collect addresses that way unless they RSVP’d FIRST. And it doesn’t streamline the save the dates really unless you don’t mind them going to everyone’s junk boxes.
Post # 5
Sending out a formal RSVP after someone has already RSVPd is a waste of time and money IMO.
Yes, its inital headache to get all the addresses, but I think you’re better off reversing the order – so get all the addresses, send a paper invite and have them RSVP on the site.
OR Keep with your initial plan, and use the addresses people give you for thank you cards. I religiously check my junk mail folder because all sorts of stuff goes in there, but Fiance has like 5000+ things in there, he would never find this. So I would keep that in mind.
FTR – we got all the addresses, sent paper STDs, will be sending paper invites, and have a website to RSVP. I think you’re trying to make it easier for yourself by not collecting addresses, but you’re shooting yourself in the foot later when you have to track down all the people who didn’t get the invite at all.
eta – its also not *that* difficult to get all the addresses. It seems like a ton of work at first, but if you have 100 people, thats probably like 75% couples, who are 1 address, the rest could be friends who you can just text. If any of your family has hosted a wedding recently, they might have a bunch of addresses on file. I asked my mom and my aunt and between them we got all of my family addresses, Fiance did the same with his mom. So it sounds daunting, but in reality, its not that much work.
Post # 6
missjoy0819 : heavenlyflower :
I think she is using the term RSVP a bit loosely, to mean that the guests who receive email STD’s are requested to respond to the website with their mailing address.
Although obtaining mailing addresses through the website would be ideal for you as it lessens your workload, in reality, if the guests don’t respond, you are in the same situation that couples were in before the internet. They had to contact people for their mailing address too.
You can either wait till closer to the date you plan to mail your invitations to see how many addresses you still need, or you can start updating your list now through family and friends.