(Closed) Wedding Weekend – ok to Charge?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: To charge or not to charge.
    $60 per adult : (1 votes)
    3 %
    $75 per adult : (7 votes)
    22 %
    $25-30 per head : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Why charge? - They are family! : (23 votes)
    72 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    how much is it costing YOU per head? and how much can you afford? that might be the better way to start out thinking about it…

    theres also the option of explaining to people that you’re booking the whoel venue, and any money they can help put towards that woudl be appreciated, kind of leave it up to them, and give them a ballpark figure with how much youre thinking.

    this all depends on how much you NEED to make ends meet vs how much would be nice to help cover costs.

    Post # 4
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    So… I voted why charge?? But I’ll take it back if you haven’t sent your invites out already… if you still have to send out your invites… you can use it under your accomodation reccommendations and include the price per person… but if you’ve sent out the invites and are now saying…”hey Out of Towners! I’ve booked a place for you, but now you have to pay me back!” is weird…

    Post # 5
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Ok – maybe I’m confused on this one but I think it is a little unreasonable to charge your guests anything, they are your guests, you should be responsible for the bill. You want them to come but you are making them pay to see you get married…

    Post # 6
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I agree with July. I think the way to approach this is to say, “We have booked this lodge that you have the option to stay at. If you choose to stay here, the cost is X per night.  We have opted to book the entire place in advance, so if you choose to stay here, please send us a check for X. You may also arrange accomodations on your own at Y and Z.”

    And then whatever the actual cost is, that’s what you ask for. If you have the ability to subsidize the cost, that’s cool too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Is there any way you can have the guests book through the venue if they want to stay the whole weekend, and have the venue take the money off your final bill?  This way it is more like when guests call and book a room in the block of rooms that the B&G have reserved at a hotel.  It strikes me as very odd to ask your guests to pay you directly, and I think a lot of people will raise an eyebrow at the very least if you ask them this.  I also think you need to make it clear that if they don’t want to stay (for whatever reason) they are welcome to come to the wedding for free. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I had a Destination Wedding and for my bridesmaids and their husbands, I offered my beach house to them if they wanted to split costs. They could do there own lodging or stay with me, and in the end, they stayed with me because it ended up being like $50/person if they stayed like two nights. For the couples that wanted to stay the whole week, I asked for $75…. um… you can’t get a hotel for that PER NIGHT and plus, we had a BLAST!!  :o)

     

    I also offered rooms to my ex-roommates, and they also took up the offer. So, in the end, we had a 6 bedroom house, and (on the night before the wedding) we had 16 people three of which were on couches and floors. Haha. We had a ton of fun!!

     

    Technically, I paid for HALF the beach house, and the money they gave me paid for half.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Honestly, I would just have guests pay their own way. That’s usually how it works with destination weddings. I don’t think any of your guests would expect you to pick up the majority of the tab for the weekend. They would just expect to be taken care of during the actual wedding in terms of food and drink.

    But if you both still want to pay for people (which is beyond generous), I would simply pick an amount you can afford and leave it at that. I wouldn’t base it at all on what people will think, etc.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would feel weird about anyone deciding FOR me that their wedding would be a weekend retreat. I think it’s up to your guests whether they decide to make a weekend out of it. I mean, I get what you’re trying to do, but I personally would not feel comfortable charging my guests for anything. It’s one thing for me as a guest to pay a hotel directly but it’s weird IMO to have a guest pay you directly for the wedding weekend. Is there any way you can do it so it goes through the venue? That would make it less weird.

    ETA: just saw you weren’t saying they would be paying you so disregard that part. I still say that guests should make their own arrangements, though.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2641 posts
    Sugar bee

    Right if they are paying for a hotel anyway, your costs sound way reasonable to me, especially including meals etc.  But what happens if they only want to stay one night?  Is there an option to do that?

    Other than that, I would just word it as their “rate” for the weekend, and what’s included.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    As someone else recommended, I’d treat it as a block of rooms like any other wedding, your special wedding rate is “X”.  Instead of booking with the “hotel” they’ll book and pay you, but you should be willing to cover the entire cost if no one takes you up on the offer. 

    Oh! And for cost (since that WAS your question), I’d base it sole on what it will actually cost you and what you can reasonably afford.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Ok, if they’re working it out through the venue then I think you’re fine charging whatever- but I would try to charge by room rather than by person (if that’s possible).  Just include it in the invites the way someone would include information about hotel blocks.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’d be very uncomfortable charging guests or collecting money for anything. 

    Why don’t you have them make their reservations and pay the resort directly for rooms and food. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I went to a wedding where they booked a villa in Italy for all the guests.  They ended up sending an email letting us know that we were invited to stay on site for them, and that the cost was x amount per night – way more reasonable than anything else we were going to find.  I don’t think anyone was upset about it, and it worked out to be a good deal and a great way to stay onsite with all the other guests.  I think it’s fine to charge as long as you word it as a lodging option rather than a required fee to attend.

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