Post # 1
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
Our wedding is in a touristy town about 2 hours from where we live. Some guests will be coming from even further. We intend to have a hosted welcome party the Friday night before the wedding, and of course dinner at our reception. Other than that we won’t be paying for anything else, but we will be doing things throughout the weekend. Thursday night we’ll have dinner at a restuarant and maybe a few drinks out on the town, Friday the guys will go golfing, the girls will hopefully hang out on a spa deck and enjoy massages (if they want). Friday night hosted welcome party BYOB, possibly going out for drinks, Saturday wedding, Sunday breakfast before departure.
Is it okay to have an open invite to events but not pay for them? Especially if I need to request a head count for reservations? And if so, how should I word the events so that guests understand that they will be paying?
Post # 2
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
The way my friend did this is she sent out an invitation, and right at the rsvp spot (this is an evite) wrote “This is not a hosted event”. Meaning I’m paying. I think that should work just fine.
Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
I was recently at a somewhat destination wedding. Many guests were there for a few days before the wedding. One night we all went out to drinks with the bride & groom one night, had dinner another (they just found a restaurant that was flexible and reserved a corner), and had brunch after. Everything was done through word of mouth/FB event invites. WIth the events being organized this way made it pretty clear that they were informal, and not hosted. I don’t think anyone was confused or upset about paying their own way. I do, however, think it would be weird and a bit off-putting to get a more formal invitation/RSVP set up for these types of event.
Post # 4
Member
8397 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Whats a “hosted welcome party byob”. Not hosted?
If you send out a formal invite, the expectation is generally that you’re hosting. Otherwise spread by word of mouth, leave it up to the adults to make their own reservations.
Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
I won’t be sending formal invites, but facebook is an excellent idea.
Post # 6
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
I think it is ok to plan a few optional events for the guests which will not be paid by you. This way it is just helping guests to find what else they can do while they are in this location. We are doing a destination wedding and most of our guests decided to do a mini-vacation along with the wedding and staying for 4-7 nights. We will probably do kayak tour, tour to a few local destinations, turtle farm, there is a festival going on during this week, and so on.
I think these events has to be optional and they should not go on a formal invite. My wedding is small so I am just thinking to create a Facebook event where I can share some of the informal activities we can do as a group during the week
Post # 7
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
jellybellynelly : We’ll serve dinner for the welcome party but will not be providing alcohol.
Post # 8
Member
18 posts
Newbee
I included an insert on my invites for out of town guests that said something like ” We realize that we won’t be able to spend nearly as much time catching up with all of you as we’d like during the reception. The bride and groom will be spending time at [insert local ice cream place] starting at 8pm on June 23rd (the day before the wedding). If you happen to be in town by then, we encourage you to stop by!”
It was an awesome time, and we had so much fun, especially catching up with guests who were coming from far away who we hadn’t seen in a while! None of them expected that we were going to pay for them, and honestly many of them weren’t even interested in the ice cream, they just wanted to socialize.
Post # 9
Member
13722 posts
Honey Beekeeper
If you invite people, regardless of how informally, take RSVPs etc. then you pay. If you tell people that you will be somewhere, doing something and that they are welcome to join you, that’s different.
Post # 10
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
If I was a guest I would not expect you to may for the parties separate from your wedding reception. I think this will work out fine.