(Closed) Wedding without marriage license?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you ask him why he feels this way?

If it is just a general objection to asking a bureaucracy to formalize the marriage, I can understand, although I wouldn’t agree with him.

If he thinks it will get him out of any legal repsonsibilities associated with marriage, he would be sadly mistaken and that would be a whole other discussion.

Post # 4
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry to hear this, doll.  I’d be pissed, though.  You need to find out what his reasons are for not wanting to “legally” be tied to you.  Honestly, I do believe that you can be married without the piece of paper– the important part is that you two are committed to one another, and you make your vows to one another before God (if you believe in that).  BUT at the same time, I want the piece of paper because of the legal benefits that come along with it.  You really need to talk with him and find out what his problem with the legal aspects of marriage is..

I hope everything works out for you two.

Post # 5
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MmeSilverBullet: You need to figure out his reasoning on this one because it literally makes no sense IMO. Did you ask him yet why he feels this way?

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know people like that. They feel marriage is more spiritual than a legal contract. After all, a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper that says you are legally binded to each other and you can claim it’s perks like being on each others insurance, filing taxes together, be notified of medical decisions, ect. Nothing on that cert says anything about your vows or feelings about each other. 

However, I would ask him how he really feels. Does he not want the legal part because it would be easier for him to walk away or does he really feel marriage status shouldn’t be determined by a piece of paper? 

Post # 8
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sounds like a bit of a red flag, unless you guys are radical anarchists.

You can be spiritually married or something if you would like but even an elopement with an officiant requires legality. 

Post # 9
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’d be livid if my fiance said that he wanted to spend all the money on a wedding without legally getting married.

I’d definitely want a good reason out of him. I could understand not getting married as a protest, but then we just plain wouldn’t get married.

Post # 10
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MmeSilverBullet: 

I’d be livid if my Fiance said he was too busy to talk with me about such a serious matter. That is a total cop-out and totally dismissive of my feelings.

I’m concerned that he would think that was an appropriate response.

Post # 11
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@julies1949:

“I’d be livid if my Fiance said he was too busy to talk with me about such a serious matter.”

This.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Uhhhh…

I hate to ask, but does he have any kind of outstanding warrants or other legal issues you might not know about?

Post # 15
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm I would ask him why he feels that way.. I cant really give any advice other than that. Some people dont see the need for it to be legal, but idk if thats the case for him. 

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