Post # 1
My Fiance and I are 5 months into planning, with the wedding one year away. We are paying for the wedding (as my parents don’t have the means to foot the bill). I am from Jersey. He is from Michigan. We both live in South Florida. I am white as snow. He is Asian. He is super quiet and shy. I am outgoing and love to dance. I am Catholic. He is not religious at all. He is 9 years older than I am.
So I thought everything was going well with the planning. I booked the Church (he was nice enough to compromise) where I went to school in Jersey. I flew back to Jersey to book the reception site last weekend. Total cost is $90 a head for the food/bar/centerpieces. I’ve been planning the wedding with my family.
His parents want the wedding to be in Michigan (where they live) and would foot a portion of the bill. I don’t want my wedding in Michigan. I wouldn’t have much say. He will not invite his Michigan crew if the wedding is in Jersey. He thinks it’s unfair. It would just be his parents, sister and brothers-in-law. The bridal party all live in Jersey. My family is all in Jersey.Â
We discussed having the wedding here in Florida, which upset my parents because my extended family wouldn’t probably come since they’d have to purchase airfare, take time off from work, rent a car and get a hotel. Fiance thinks that if the people want to see us married, they can fly down.
I suggested as a cost-cutting option to have the reception catered in my parents’ large backyard. Fiance doesn’t see that as an option.
I am so beyond stressed with the ordeal of the location and who’s paying for what and this family versus that one. My labor day weekend was spent in tears over the planning.
Can anyone offer some advice? Our budget is about $15,000. FI’s ideal wedding would be ceremony and reception at a restaurant (for 75 guests) where they can just order off the menu. No dancing, no DJ, no cake cutting. Fiance says I’m not compromising enough.