- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I’ve been scouting the boards for a long time. Love the DIY section and have been having fun reading a lot of the boards on the site. That being said, you all seem so very kind and very supportive and really I’m just looking to get somethings off of my chest… So, that being said, here goes:
The last time I physically saw my bio-mom, I was 11 years old. She was mentally ill and was hospitalized to treat manic depression and other issues. Lots of time went by, she met someone online and moved to another country, fast forward about six years and I found her online. I began to email her anonymously and asking questions. Do you like where you live now, did you leave family behind, was it easy to move, etc. Finally, one day I had the guts to ask her outright: Do you know who this is? Magically, and terrifyingly, she did. She said yes, that she had always known.
We’ve been talking ever since. My parents do not know– they would not be supportive. My sister doesn’t want to talk to her- too many hurts and past feelings.
When it came time for the wedding, I asked if she could use her artistic skills as a graphic deisgn artist to help create our wedding invitations. She said yes, then came back and said she and her husband would like to pay for them, as well, and that she’d take care of everything. We bounced ideas back and forth and then suddenly one day…..she just stopped. I didn’t hear from her. I panicked, only a few short months out from the wedding (I think at this point we were 5 or 6 months out) and asked someone else for help. THey came up with the art for the invite. I did the rest through Microsoft Publisher. I couldn’t save the documents the way that CardsandPockets.com needed, and became even more frustrated. So I reached out to my bio-mom again desperately asking for help. Nothing. Finally, my fi and I broke down and bought invitations off of a website we found. It was a very high cost that we hadn’t anticipated having to pay for.
All things aside, I’m not so upset about the money. it sucks, but whatever. I’m more upset that she bailed. She finally responded to one of my emails more than a month after I emailed asking for help with the files, and basically sent me 7 weak apologetic lines. This is a woman who once wrote a blog entry about a pet mouse that died that was like 2 pages long, so forgive me if I’m not moved by a weak apology. I’m upset that she fell off earth, didn’t respond… This was the chance to make up for some of those past hurts and lost memories- middle school, high school, graduations, proms, my first “real” job, etc. etc. etc. I wanted her to be a part of my wedding….
Anyone else go through anything like this? Anyone missing a parent? How do I “let go” of this incredible hurt?