Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens
Hi ladies! I love that Weddingbee is such a positive environment free from snarky, mean comments and criticism- we all know the mantra "If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all" but I guess I’m wondering what to do when you have an opinion about something that is… less than favorable.
For example, if someone asks "What do you guys think of this dress?" or posts pictures of something and it’s just awful… I don’t know if I should say it’s not my taste or not say anything at all….I undertstand that sometimes it’s just a difference of opinion and maybe the item is just not my taste- but also, when asked for my opinion I want to be honest….. I don’t want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings either. Help!
Post # 3
I’ve been honest in as tactful a way as possible with regards to posts that specifically ask things like "what do you think of this favor idea" or "what do you think of doing x at the reception" by giving reasons why I personally wouldn’t do that or enjoy that as a guest. I think it’s good to hear negative feedback and as a poster I have appreciated hearing things like, "Don’t forget to keep this in mind" or "I would be upset if I was a guest at a wedding that did such and such." That feedback is equally as important as the positive feedback. I think you can give your honest opinion in a way that doesn’t offend anyone if you phrase it as kindly and compassionately as possible. I would refrain from saying something like "I absolutely despise that dress." I think it helps to remember the saying "Constructive criticism" if you are going to give an honest negative opinion. Does that help?
Post # 4
Great question. I agree with monalisa — if you don’t like something, say why, and try to separate it out from personal opinion. Like, if you generally see a problem with something, state the problems. Don’t just say, "you’re being selfish" or "That’s tacky."
Post # 5
I agree… I also try to 1) respect everyone’s different tastes-understanding that just because I don’t like a certain dress doesn’t mean that it’s bad 2) give helpful hints on how to make something fulfill it’s best potential. Like, "in addition to those elements, how about adding x,y or z?"
I try to make it clear that whenever I say something that might be seen as critique that it might just be my taste and that it’s said in a completely non-judgey, helpful, compassionate way. I’m sure I don’t always succeed in striking the balance, but I try!
Post # 7
I totally agree, I think negative opinions are fine- its just the way you word them.
I think a and b below are saying the same thing, but to me ‘b’ is snarky
A) I don’t think that dress compliments your features the best-maybe look for something with a lower waist?
B) omg. I don’t know why you picked that dress! Its horrible and looks really bad on you.
We all should be able to take CONSTRUCTIVE criticism- (hopefully :))