Post # 1
Okay so let me start by saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I really hope that this doesn’t start some type of heated debate or anything.
That being said… I knew when I first came to WeddingBee that they were owned by Eharmony and that Eharmony is not LGBT friendly (yes I know they have a site for LGBT now, but it was court ordered so I don’t really feel like that is an inclusive policy). I kind of thought I’d just see what the site was all about and…. I’M HOOKED. I love this site, it is so fun, has so many great ideas, and I really love all the supportive women around here. In the last few weeks I’ve spent so many hours here chatting and looking at everyone’s photos and it is great!
But, I’m starting to feel really guilty because I’m so totally aware that every time I come to this site, it supports eharmony. I am heterosexual, but I fully support LGBT rights and I personally think it’s really wrong that there is so much discrimination against gay and lesbian couples. I kind of feel like it is morally wrong for me to support a company that tries to discriminate.
Does anyone else struggle with this? I love it around here and I want to stay but I’m just feeling so guilty!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York
We completely support LGBTQ rights here on Weddingbee!
I definitely hope that more LGBTQ brides and grooms apply, so we can add to the diversity here… we’ve had LGBTQ brides in the past, and hope to have more in the future.
Post # 4
I agree with you in the respect that I am unhappy with the discrimination towards LGBT couples, and I really don’t believe that we are in the minority with this. I think it’s important to keep in mind that WeddingBee is definitely LGBT friendly (we even have a boards section for same sex marriages under the “cultural boards” heading) and WeddingBee certainly welcomes any hive member or bee applicant from the LGBT community.
However, I don’t think that you should feel guilty about supporting a site that is owned by eHarmony. On the contrary, I think that by participating and speaking up for what you believe in is how policies and beliefs change in the world, and on the internet.
I hope this helps, but if you have further concerns you can PM me….
Post # 5
I didn’t know Weddingbee was owned by EHarmony when I first started browsing the site. It wasn’t until I did a little more exploring that I noticed Eharmony at the bottom of the site. I was kind of disappointed.
I read IndieBride msg boards too and I have noticed a lot less L/G weddings mentioned and general LGBT people here.
I guess it goes to show that no matter how hard you try to get out of the mainstream wedding industry there it is to pull you back in!
Post # 6
I actually had no idea about the previous discussions regarding weddingbee & the Eharmony sale, until a few weeks ago when I was going through a few older Bees blogs and saw this info come up.
I 100% support LGBTQ rights and am supportive of Bees decisions to leave or stay on Weddingbee. It is difficult to live your life being 100% supportive in ALL aspects of our lives, which is where I deem weddingbee comes in. I have learned such valuable information on this site that has helped me understand the wedding business, given me great ideas, and has overall helped me tremendously in my wedding plans. Although Eharmony discriminates against a population & they own this site, I don’t feel that I am supporting their decision to discriminate, because I have my personal beliefs and me reading this site doesn’t change them, nor do I personally feel that reading this site supports discrimination (IMHO.)
What would change my mind about weddingbee, would of been,after the sale to Eharmony, weddingbee would of stated that they wish for no LGBTQ individuals to utilize the site, that would of been unacceptable. That obviously didn’t happen & for that reason I feel that weddingbee has remained an equal place 🙂
Post # 7
i hate that the LGBTQ community is left out of the wedding industry! but i don’t feel guilty, because i don’t think the LGBTQ community as a whole wants heterosexual brides to be made to feel and they are doing something wrong by using what we are blessed to have. that energy is better spent on making sure the LGBTQ community gets the same opportunities we do. like mrs. bee said, i think we could use more LGBTQ bees around here!!!
Post # 8
I just noticed the other day that Wedding Bee is owned by eHarmony. Given their past, I wasn’t too thrilled about it as I have a lot of gay friends. I’m still on the fence about it, to be honest with you.
Post # 9
@mrsbee- thanks for the quick response. I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond.
I do understand that Weddingbee itself is LGBT friendly, and I did notice the community section for those that identify that way. I have never actually seen anything on this site that was anything less than respectful and inclusive. The only part that bothers me is that I know my patronage makes EHarmony money and EHarmony is not LBGT friendly. I guess I could look at it from the perspective that by being here and making my voice heard maybe we can change EHarmony’s views? I don’t know. It is just something that has been bothering me a little bit and I wanted to see if it was anyone else’s minds.
Post # 10
I feel the same way. It’s like indirectly supporting something, but not…regardless, eHarmony is just behind the times and hopefully they have moved on from their bad past. I think every company has some bad PR at some point and hopefully moves beyond it.
I also hope some LGBT people find this site and feel free to dive right in and join us! Knowing some LGBT people, they tend to not be so outspoken on places like this for fear of rejection and/or discrimination. Also I think there are lots of LGBT wedding resources available, but mostly through the grapevine so they go about planning their wedding in a non-traditional way, IE not using a lot of the popular websites we use all the time.
I really love the diversity of this place. I live in the heart of midwestern missouri where we really don’t get any at all and I really struggle with my viewpoints and feeling like the lone outfielder in left field all by myself. I know it’s just *where* i physically live though, which is why I love online communities like this one! Lots of perspectives and opinions. Opens up your mind.
Post # 11
I have mixed feelings about it too, as we are a same-sex couple. On the one hand, I don’t like it that profits from this site may benefit eHarmony. At the same time, the people have been very supportive–we have not once encountered rejection or discrimination here. And I would hate to see the LBGTQ and LBGTQ-friendly people leaving here, and making it a site for only straight, homophobic couples.
Ultimately, my view is that I want any site where brides (and grooms!) discuss their weddings to have a strong LBGTQ and LBGTQ-friendly presence. That way, straight couples can see that gay couples are just like them, with the same issues, from decor to family drama.
I am encouraged in this by the example of New England. When Massachusetts first got gay marriage, the majority of residents were opposed to it. However, after several years of seeing gay couples get married and Western civilization as we know it not come to an end, Massachusetts and all of the surrounding states have become much more accepting of gay marriage. It is really easy for homophobes to stay that way if they don’t have gay friends (or don’t know their friends are gay), but much harder if they see gay couples as their family, friends and neighbors.
So I do understand those LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly people who have left here. However, my personal decision is to stay.
Post # 12
@2dBride – I’m glad you decided to stay 🙂 I remember when you were considering leaving, and while at the time (I was still a pretty new Bee myself) I had no idea how hilarious you are… but still hoped you would stay. Now that I DO know how stinking funny you can be, I’m glad you stuck around!
re: this topic; I had no idea WeddingBee was owned by eHarmony! I guess I just assumed … that … Mr and Mrs Bee … did this for fun … ? hah, I guess I never really thought about it.
eHarmony definitely takes a pretty closeminded stance towards the LGBTQ community, which is sad. 🙁 It also makes me sad that there’s not more going on on our Same Sex culture board. How can we as bees be more supportive or welcoming to same sex couples?
Post # 13
None of the Same Sex boards (on any site that I’ve found) are all that active. However, I think that primarily arises from the fact that same-sex couples are generally welcomed onto all of the wedding boards. Since about 99% of the issues we face are the exact same ones that straight couples face, it makes sense to discuss them on boards where we can get responses from both gay and straight couples.
Post # 14
🙂 That makes me feel a LOT better! Actually, I’m feeling a little silly for not putting that one together on my own, hehe… my inner blonde, coming out to play, perhaps?
Post # 15
are we really going to get into this. Personally i believe marriage is between a man and a woman, it may not be a popular opinion and im sure ill get alot of trouble for being honest but i dont like how one sided this post seems to be.
Post # 16
Thanks for bringing this up, I too was unaware of the eHarmoney connection. I understood Weddingbee to be independently owned by Mrs.Bee and always found pride in the fact that it was a grassroots site unlike the Know or Chatty Brides, etc. That being said, I still enjoy Weddingbee and will continue to participate but I wonder, when was it bought by eHarmoney?