Post # 1
Alrighty Bees, I’ve got a question/topic for you, and it’s a big one…Weddings and the dreaded F-word…Facebook:
I’ve seen many posts involving various situations surrounding Facebook “challenges” when it comes to the getting married process… we’re talking everything from FB etiquette, to support (or lack thereof) from friends and loved ones online, to opinions on what comprises an “annoying” FB status in regards to wedding-related topics, the list goes on and on…and on. Which is what led me to start this thread.
It seems to me that the underlying question for a lot of these issues seems to be whether or not to post any wedding-related information on Facebook – whether it’s through status updates (of all kinds – announcing engagements, sharing the various stages of wedding planning, etc.), ring pictures, engagement and wedding pictures, you get the point.
I have to say that I see both sides of the argument – on one hand, for people (like myself) who are frequent users of the site and have many friends and family that are spread out over hundreds and sometimes thousands of miles, it can be a great way to keep loved ones in the loop, and of course it works both ways – for us to stay in the loop and support them in the major milestones and events in their lives (that is kind of the point of FB, right?). However, I also see the other side of the argument where yeah, it can get annoying, especially when people take it too far and are constantly posting about wedding-related stuff. Not to mention, posting wedding info on FB can definitely have negative consequences…people attempting to invite themselves to your wedding, etc.
So how about you? What are your opinions on the great Weddings and Facebook debate?
Post # 3
I think that when you put it on facebook, you are welcoming comments and questions in a public forum. If you are ok with that, go for it. However, many brides are hurt by things people say or end up in awkward situations.
I am facebook friends with people that I don’t see or speak to on a regular basis. I still want to keep some contact with them, but I don’t want their opinion on my venue choice, advice on anything, comments about my engagement ring, or asking if they are getting an invite (when they are not). Therefore, I keep wedding stuff off facebook.
Post # 4
I post every now and again… Like my DIYwedding shoes, or that the fam is out venue checking. But no details.
Post # 5
@calisunshine3404: I feel like it’s appropriate to share, not OVERSHARE, wedding related topics, pictures, etc. on facebook. I have many family and friends that live out of state. Not to mention I see much worse posted on Facebook everyday.I tried to keep my posts minimal and relevant. No one gives a crap how many florists I had to visit to find the perfect one or how many fonts I looked at for invitiations.
I do think people can go overboard but even then it’s not hard to politely ignore it and move on. I think it is a personal preference and I have many friends who have chosen to share nothing. I can also understand that and wanting to maintain that level of privacy.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
I wrote “never” – but I did share our engagement online by changing our ‘relationship status’ (from “Married” to “engaged” – FH & I have had our status as married as a lark since we added our relationship to facebook 7 years ago). I’ve also changed my profile photo to one of our engagement photos, but I don’t exactly consider that anything, and that was done maybe five months after we got them done?
I also have a private group with my cousins, and I’ve posted some stuff on there, but that’s because they’re obviously invited, and I needed information about what alcohol to buy (self-catered bar!!).
I have a friend who posted absolutely everything to do with her wedding on facebook forever, and I know several people who “defriended” her because of it.
I just don’t think it’s right to share any actual “wedding updates” on there – since there’s obviously going to be people on your facebook who aren’t invited. It’s like talking about this awesome party to your friends and then not inviting them. I don’t think that’s very nice.
Post # 7
I posted that I was engaged, no pics quick one line. I figure I’ll post one pic of the wedding and some of the after party (if my friends don’t post pics). Other than that nope.
Post # 8
@thenewmrsmax: +1. The people who care about wedding stuff will ask directly. I keep all of it off of Facebook. Drama free for the win!
Post # 9
FB can be private too. I had a private group set up because it was an easy way to share things with bridesmaids who lived in different cities.
Post # 10
@calisunshine3404: We only just got engaged, but we did change our statuses on facebook. And then, a few days later, we posted a cute photo and a status thanking everyone for their well wishes. I think that will most likely be the extent of our wedding related posts until we actually get married – well, actually, I did send emails to my parents and extended family to let them know (parents and grandparents already knew) we were engaged and attached was a photo of me with the ring. . . dad got really excited and posted it without asking first. I wasn’t planning to post any pictures like that, but he was so excited that I couldn’t be mad at him (it was pretty adorable).
I just don’t see the point in sharing that stuff with all those people, most of whom won’t be invited to the wedding.
Post # 11
@AB Bride: I like the idea of a private group for people (like BMs) that you want to keep up to date. I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding two weeks after mine. She made a page for all 7 of her BMs.
Post # 12
Choosing to NOT post on Facebook about it can also have unintended consequences.
For example, someone I’m FB friends with (but barely know in real life) is getting married next year. She hasn’t posted hardly anything wedding-related on FB, but I realized why last week. She said something like “I’m breaking my vow of wedding-related-post silence because I just have to say how excited I am about x y and z”
This made me go “oh come on now. You’re intentionally NOT posting about it on FB, except for this one thing or the next one thing…just post about it without shoving it in our faces that you think you’re above that.” It really irked me.
Post # 13
@calisunshine3404: I plan to create a “list” of people who are invited to the wedding and limit visibility to only that list for any wedding related posts. Further, I HOPE I can manage to only post a few times- like maybe annoucing any website updates/hotel blocks/any info that didn’t go out with the invites.
Post # 14
I posted some about our wedding. We changed our facebook status to engaged, added engagement pictures, a picture of my ring, when and where the wedding was when it was official, and maybe a couple funny things here and there like how making my own programs ended up being really hard to do. I didn’t get a single negative comment. Everything was positive, and no one asked if they were invited or anything. I would say I was open on facebook about the wedding, but I didn’t share every single detail. If someone didn’t like it then they can hide my statuses. It doesn’t really affect me.
Post # 15
Here’s what we have done.
1. changed our status to engaged. No pictures of the ring.
2. We will probably post some of our engagement pictures.
3. If someone takes pictures at any of our parties (showers, etc) we will share those.
4. After we come back from the honeymoon, I’ll change my name.
That’s it. Zero planning updates. None. Nada. I don’t want anyone asking me questions about it, and I don’t feel like anyone on facebook is interested in my planning. That’s what my close friends and family are for and I can tell them NOT on facebook.
Post # 16
I have posted a few things, but nothing crazy.