(Closed) Weddings are stupid

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I can feel your frustration and have been there myself a few times! But what always reigns me back in is imagining NOT having the wedding and NOT having all those beautiful memories. I just don’t want to look back in 10+ years and regret skipping the fun. Yes it’s stressful, but at the end of the day it’s supposed to be about LOVE and sharing that love with your friends and family. Do what’s in your heart and you can’t go wrong. (Man that came out cheesy)

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lucyv2003:  Well let me ask you this, do you feel like the money you are spending for each thing (photographer, food, venue, etc) is unreasonable? I know it all adds up! But is anything really “unreasonable”? And for some reason when you throw the word “wedding” in front of something like “cake” the price skyrockets. It’s crazy! It’s still just a cake people!

Try and keep it in perspective.

Post # 6
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i thought about just going to sf city hall (which is gorgeous by the way) and just having a small family dinner after exxchanging vows and  then after the honeymoon, have a bbq with friends to announce our marriage… but FI thought that i would regret not having a wedding later on and also his dad seemed to want a reception so we decided to just do the wedding and we are paying it ourselves…

From time to time i still think that eloping would have been better but oh wellssss… we are keeping it fairly small for an asian wedding (12-15 tables of 10) and we are doing bare minimum.. i am sure at the end of this we will have a good time and we will have good memories (hopefully)… 

 

What does your Fiance thinks? does he help you out planning? if he is not as involved as you, i could see how it can frustrate you… at leats you still got your family support especially financially 🙂

Post # 7
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sometimes I feel exactly the same way.  But then sometimes I want the big event and party.

Another way to think about it is the way my fiance does – it’s (hopefully) a once in a lifetime thing, marking a lifelong committment.  So he doesn’t mind that we spend the money and make a fuss.

 

Post # 8
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I feel the same. I have tried to get the small elopement or intimate wedding and have been told i’m NOT allowed by my family and Fiance. So i just have to go along with it. 

I’m trying to focus on this fact. At the end of the day i’m married. Thats all that i want to happen so i just need to get through the day for that. I think Fiance and i will have a private little something between the two of us at a later date. The wedding is really for everyone else as far as i’m concerned. 

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I felt the same way.. Which is why I decided not to have a wedding. Everyone wants to put in their 2 cents, but they aren’t the ones paying for it.. And also, Fiance and I live in Chicago, when all of our family is in Florida and Canada.. So it would just be too much work and money to have a Florida wedding, because I know no ones really gonna wanna come to Chicago, and Florida is our home. 
We’re still debating as to whether we’re gonna actually elope, or if we’re gonna just do something small with our parents and siblings..
We finally put into perspective that our wedding is OUR day. it’s about us and our union. I could give a rats a$$ if my guests are going to want chicken or steak, or what table linens go with what centerpiece. 
If your dad can afford to throw you the wedding of your dreams, go for it! Just please don’t lose sight of what your wedding day is really about..
good luck :] 

Post # 10
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know how you feel. If I think about the money too much, I feel ill. I wanted to elope. Fiance wanted a big crazy wedding. We compromised – 100 guests, morning ceremony, luncheon reception (to keep costs down). I still feel awful about it sometimes, though. No matter how you look at it, we’re going to end up spending 10k-15k on this wedding, and I just feel like there are so many more practical, necessary things that money could be spent on.

Post # 11
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think everyone has this feeling at least once during wedding planning. It’s hard to see all this money being spent on something that hasn’t happened yet and that you can only vaguely imagine coming together at this point, and you aren’t yet able to put a value on the experience. Right now all you see is stress! We focused on making our wedding an awesome party for all of our nearest and dearest and I feel like we created a great shared memory that threads together people from every part of our lives. And yes it’s one day, but I can tell you that one day was packed with more emotion, excitement and fun than any other in my life. From reading and hearing about others’ experiences, it seems like the major source of angst and regret in wedding planning comes from badly behaving family members. We are very fortunate to have family and friends who supported us, love us and came to celebrate. And it was wonderful, and it was worth it. It was more than worth it.

Post # 12
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HeyKaraoke:  I’m the same as you. I wanted to elope or do Las Vegas and since he’d been married before at a courthouse and regretted it, we’re having a wedding. At least, I think we’re having a wedding. Even he’s getting a little shaken by the price tag and stress of planning a wedding.

I hate wedding planning. The worst is that I didn’t even want a wedding but I’m stuck doing most of the work (that I don’t care about). After a couple months of frustration though, Fiance started doing things and I just sat back and did nothing. Now he’s on the same page as me and wants it to go away. Ugh. I don’t even want to get married anymore.

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

been there, done that! The day will be worth it though! Take a break from planning for  a week and reset.

Post # 14
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I echo your sentiments. It feels ridiculous to spend that amount of money on a single day. I would much rather have a close ceremony with only our families around and then off to the honeymoon. Never saw much sense in having a lavish wedding. Still, to each his own!

Post # 15
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree SO much.  Even a simple, casual wedding gets crazy expensive when you’re inviting 200 people like we are.  :/  But ultimately we decided that the joy of having all our loved ones there > the ridiculousness of spending $12,000 on one weekend.  Once we decided that, we also decided to just embrace it.  The worst possible option is to go through with it but feel badly the whole time…

Post # 16
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Weddings are stupid. But they can be fun if you don’t put too much into it and get stressed out about it going perfectly.

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