i think there is some truth to what he says about how guys feel. i never once expected my Fiance to be as excited about the wedding as i am. and he is admits he is not, but that he has “positive feelings towards it”. i think that is all i am going to get!
but let me tell you that i totally know how you feel, because when my Fiance was still my Boyfriend or Best Friend, he said something similar to me. he was a little more tactful, but the same meaning was there. he also threw in that he is ALREADY committed to me for life and the “marriage” was just unnecessary paperwork! yes that made me happy and upset all at once, i am sure you can imagine!
so, like you, i always dreamed my Fiance would have as much fun at the wedding as i do. But i had to realize there is a reason that women do the planning, women go to the bridal shows, women dominate these message boards! BUT i also decided that i was going to get what i want the most, even if it meant sacrificing some other things i wanted. and what i mean by that is this: What i want the most for the wedding is for Fiance to have as much fun as i do. So to do that, i had to find out what he didn’t like about weddings that made him have this idea that weddings are only for the bride (not the groom), yup he said that too, like yours did.
So, i found out he doesn’t like huge parties, he didn’t want the pressure of his large extended family being there, he didn’t want to be bored dancing all night (he hates dancing actually), and he didn’t want it to be overly fancy. lucky for both of us, i always dreamed of getting married on the beach. So, solution = destination wedding! small and laid back – good for him. beautiful and romantic – good for me. Basically, i found out he didn’t like big, fancy, hoopla weddings, so we are not having one…..and now he is actually looking forward to our wedding!
so i think you can do the same. By no means am i saying to have a destination wedding, but find out (without harassing him too much at once), what he likes and doesn’t like about weddings and plan it so you are both happy. One good way to get the info you need to ask him what he thought of other weddings he has been to. and what was it about them that he liked or didn’t like.
i know how it upsetting it is, but it can work out and you can have an amazing wedding that you will both be happy with! just remember, here is something i learned since being engaged and it applies to the groom as much as any other friend or family member: “no one will be as excited about your wedding as your are” but that doesn’t mean they will not have fun and have an amazing time once they are there!
EDIT: oh and for the “waste of money” part, my Fiance is also exactly the same. Just remember, if you are doing the planning and he doesn’t want to be involved in all the details, then he also doesn’t need to be directly told the cost of all the details 😉 my Fiance has overall figure of what its costing. but if i told him, for example, that i am spending $200 on invitations, well he might think i am crazy. actually he once suggested we invite people through facebook because its cheap and efficient!