(Closed) Weddings too close together!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
1465 posts
Bumble bee


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I would ask you both to look at the BIG picture of wedding planning here, because you aren’t.

3 of our 4 girls have walked down the aisle.  When a date is chosen you are balancing TWO family schedules, the availability of the VIPs, and THEN the availability of the venues.  The last thing I would consider in choosing a date is if they had a friend  getting married within a few days.  

Couples don’t look at their friends and say, “Oh! who else is getting married so we can steal their thunder!”  They look to see if their parents can get vacay time, if their siblings can get vacay time, if THEY can get vacay time, if the officient they want is available, and many other issues for their VIPs.  TWO families have to make all that mesh to come up with a date.  Your weddings should have nothing at all to do with that decision.

Heck, I was in the military for all three of those weddings and just getting my schedule hammered out was tough enough!

DD #4 looks to become an engaged lady this year (and I am quite excited!).  She has children from a prior relationship and her sister, who is her BFF, does too.  One of the big factors in choosing the wedding date will center around which weekends she will have her children because her ex is an absolute jerk and would pull those kids out at the last minute if it was his weekend.  After that it will be the availability of their VIP guests, and whether or not Grandpa will be in Arizona for the Winter.  Their friends’ weddings?  Won’t even be a blip on the radar as the decision is made.  And it shouldn’t be.

You get one day.  Be confident in your wedding and wish your friends the best.

Post # 33
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@miharu:  No, I would be so pissed about this. I think the real issue is that you can’t attend their wedding because of your honeymoon but they were trying to make it so that your other overseas friends could come. And you’re right, your other friends are there for 3 weeks so they could have pushed it off a week. 

Letting go is hard, but I suppose it’s all you can do now. Just focus on you. Some of PP’s are right- it’s your ONE wedding day, as you said, so just don’t worry about them and do your best to focus on your day and enjoy it. It sounds like the timing of their wedding is pretty inconvenient for all the people they’re inviting too, and they’re the ones who have to sit with that, not you. So, take a deep breath, and focus on what’s important: you and and your future husband, proclaiming your undying love to each other, and celebrating with the people you love as you start on the journey of marriage together.

Post # 34
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@miharu:  I cannot really tell you how to get past of those feelings, but I can totally relate to how you feel.

I think you are totally right in having those feelings, and the right to be upset.

What my SO have taught me is to talk things off. Don’t expect someone to give you an apology if you don’t ask for it or show your discontent about what they did. There are two kind of people: those who think about others and take their feelings into consideration, and those who only mind their own business and don’t think that other people’s feelings can be hurt. The latter will never apologise, because, in the first place, they don’t know they have done something wront. I suggest that you “enlight” them.

And By The Way, I hope your wedding is so pretty, romantic, cosy and amazing that it makes a life-long memory for both you and your husband. Don’t worry about that couple, in the end, the wedding is about you and your SO getting married.

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