Weekend party plans… Just found out I'm pregnant.. Not sure what to do

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
464 posts
Helper bee

I would go with the antibiotics, but make it a little more specific. The thing is, with most antibiotics its fine to drink. So say you’re taking something like sulfamethoxazole/trimethoprim (which you shouldnt mix with alcohol) for an ear infection.  Or if you really want people to leave you alone, tell them its tinidazole for bacterial vaginosis. When I was asked why I wasnt drinking while pregnant, it all fell apart when someone pried a little bit more, and I didn’t have any more information to give them. True, I could have told them to mind their own business, but I’m not good at hiding things, so instead I stared blankly, and the next think I knew I was answering yes to their follow up “are you pregnant?” So for me, the trick is to know what you’re apparently taking, and what you’re taking it for!

Post # 32
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I would go but not stay overnight. Make up an excuse.

Fake 1-2 beers but no more because you’re “driving home”.

It draws more attention to refuse drinks.

Good luck/ congrats!

Post # 34
13464 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

stillnothing :  Just want to say I feel ya!  I got my BFP this morning (!!) and am supposed to go to a winery for daydrinking tomorrow….

Post # 35
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - United Kingdom

Hey bee,

I don’t want to scare you but long journey on a car is bad for early pregnancies frown my sister miscarried after a long journey for a holiday 

I would definitely cancel 

Post # 37
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

You’ve been given good advice (if you go, I’d go with antibiotics), but I have a funny story to tell you. On the day I found out I was pregnant (a Friday), I had a gal pal coming into town that night. We met at a bar before coming to my place, where she was to spend the night, and I just told her I just didn’t feel like drinking. Worked ok…until she saw the pregnancy test packaging on my bathroom counter! I’d forgotten to hide it! At the time, she was a close friend, so it was actually a pretty funny way for her to find out about my pregnancy.

Post # 39
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

stillnothing :  We were very close at the time, and she walked down the hall with it and said, “What the f*$k is this??” It is a funny memory. 

Post # 41
365 posts
Helper bee

gingerbee1 :  absolutely not true… it’s sad your sister miscarried, but the car ride was 99.99% just a coincidence.

Post # 42
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I like the antibiotics reason. It’s a solid one that no one will fight! I totally agree not telling anyone because it is so early. 

I’m sure you aren’t into a whole nighter, but I’d go for a bit and share their birthday for a bit. Then, make a classy exit by saying you’re not feeling well and still “recovering” (from whatever you decide to go with).

Congrats and best wishes!

Post # 43
1164 posts
Bumble bee

gingerbee1 :  That is so incredibly false that it is actually harmful. Your sister miscarried because there was an abnormality – maybe hormonal, chromosomal, uterine etc – NOT because she was in a long car ride. I say this as someone who has experienced miscarriage myself: I am sorry for your sister but unless she was in a car accident during that long car ride, she was going to miscarry anyway and the journey had zero to do with it.

stillnothing :  Sorry to derail your thread OP but I hate to see misinformation spread like this. If you are genuinely worried about potential negative effects, call your doctor (and they will tell you this is baseless).

Post # 44
344 posts
Helper bee

First of all, congrats!! You guys are so creative, I love it!
I have to say, as someone who doesn’t drink much/rarely drinks, I have found people really aren’t that pushy about it. If it’s close friends and you would usually drink I can see the “oddity” of it raising some questions. However, just wanted to share that I say “no thanks” to drinking most of the time I’m out, and people very rarely question me further about it, most people just accept that I don’t want a drink and move on with their evening without a full investigation haha. I don’t think people care about it as much as we think they do. As others have said, if you have a glass of something in your hand, I don’t think anyone will give it a second thought. 
Have fun with your friends!

Post # 45
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I am almost 12 weeks and just told family and close friends, so I totally feel you, the last two months have been SO HARD. My mom doesn’t drink and doesn’t understand how it would be so obvious to my friends, almost like I have a drinking problem. Which I don’t, but come on how can you go wine tasting or to a bar and not drink and it not be obvious?

I mainly just said I was tired / busy / sick (which wasn’t a total lie as I WAS throwing up just not with the flu like I said) to avoid going out. On the few occasions I did need to go out, I got there early or spoke to the waitress on the way to the bathroom and got either a club soda or diet coke in a drink glass with a lime and said there was vodka/rum in it. My best friend and I were planning wine tasting and I just said something like “I’m going on vacation and you’re moving, can we just plan it in June instead?!” just to hold her off and it worked. When I finally told her last weekend her first reaction was “well THAT’S why you’ve been so weird and distant and blowing me off!!” but she thought not much of it at the time other than I was just stressed with working so much (which is real). 

If you do want to go, my recommendation is like others said, to say you have an early morning and can’t stay the night so you only want 1-2 drinks max. You can fake drink beer / dump it out and put water or apple juice in it or something like that. Personally for me, I was SOOO tired in the beginning that I wouldn’t have lasted past 9 PM anyway so that would be something to consider if you can even hang that late and drive home safely. 

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