Weekend party plans… Just found out I'm pregnant.. Not sure what to do

posted 11 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Some people stop drinking when they start TTC, so if your friends know you’re in that stage of things, you could say that’s why…but then of course they’ll be monitoring your belly for the forseeable future…

Post # 47
Member
6879 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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stillnothing :  Honestly, faking drinking is not that hard. I had to do it SEVERAL times when I was in the early stages of pregnancy. I’d just order a beer and take fake sips, then dump some out in the bathroom sink when no one was looking. Or I’d order a Sprite with a lime wedge and tell people it was a vodka tonic. Easy peasy. No one suspected a thing.

I think we (newly pregnant ladies) always think everyone is really paying attention and analyzing our every move when we’re pregnant because we feel like it’s SUCH a big secret we’re hiding…it has to be obvious, right?! But it’s really not. Chances are your friends aren’t going to be paying that close attention to you in regards to this. And, even if they do suspect something is up, they’ll probably keep it to themselves. I suspected several of my friends were pregnant well before they announced, but I just kept it to myself. I didn’t want to blow anyone’s cover. Then when they did announce I just gave myself my own little private pat on the back for being so observant 😉

Also do not listen to that poster that basically said a long car ride caused her sister to miscarry. That is ridiculously inaccurate.

Congrats on your pregnancy!! 

Post # 48
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re really tired and not feeling it, just say that you’re sick and take her out for lunch next week to celebrate her bday and tell her the good news. 

A long car ride followed by a rowdy party sounds awful in the early stages of pregnancy! And it depends on your friends, but I know my friends wouldn’t buy it if I tried to tell them I wasn’t drinking because I was on a diet or something – just not something I would ever do. 

You COULD open a can of beer, go to the bathroom pour it out in the sink and fill the can with water.. but that sounds kind of gross. Also who wants to be around drinking games while stone cold sober and likely nauseous and tired. Your friend isn’t going to care when she finds out the reason! 

Post # 49
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

One of my coworkers was a few weeks pregnant and at a family party, where she knew everyone would find it fishy if she wasn’t drinking. She just kept going to the bathroom and filling her beer bottle with water and no one had any idea!

Also, congrats!

Post # 50
Member
637 posts
Busy bee

I’m surprised at the number of people suggesting antibiotics. That’s the standard code for “I’m pregnant but haven’t told anyone”. 

Post # 52
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee

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stillnothing :  driving an hour there and back and pretending to drink and hide your non-drinking sounds exhausting lol.

i vote stay home. 

If she is a good friend and your comfortable telling her – then go ahead. Let her know you just found out and are feeling a little worn down.

If you dont want to tell her yet, let her know you are sick and will catch up with her to celebrate another time

maybe have another friend bring over a bottle for her or You can call and have some pizza delivered to the party for them. 

Post # 53
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

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gingerbee1 :  I’m really sorry your sister miscarried, but it was coincidental that she went on a long car trip around that time. What you are trying to imply is is ridiculous and total misinformation. What reasoning do you have as to why a car journey would cause a miscarriage? Unless someone is in an accident, a long car ride isn’t any different from sitting in a chair or on the couch.

Early miscarriages happen more often than anyone likes to discuss–generally because there is a genetic/chromosomal abnormality with the baby.

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stillnothing :  Don’t listen to gingerbee1. What she is saying doesn’t have a basis in fact. Go to your friend’s party if you want to go.

Personally, I’d go. I feel like my friends would be more disappointed that I skipped out on quality time together than that I wasn’t drinking/why I wasn’t drinking. Then again, I don’t always drink even if people around me aren’t drinking, and I’ve never felt like I needed a reason for that.

But if you do, because you often drink, I think it’s still worth it to go and support your friend. Bring a non-alcoholic cider for yourself. Pour it into a glass, drink it, and no one has to know it’s non-alcoholic. Or if you guys are mixing drinks, just mix your own and make it non-alcoholic.

Post # 54
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

What’s wrong with just saying, “I don’t want to drink tonight?” Why so much peer pressure for adults? Not all adults drink.

Post # 55
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with you. Stay home 

Post # 56
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - United Kingdom

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livster :  Thank you for your answer.

I definitely wouldn’t give this information if it wasn’t one of the possible causes that were told us by the medical advisors. 

I’m just trying to help by sharing a such personal incident we have experienced and just recommend being on the safe side as this actually can happen

Post # 57
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - United Kingdom

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MissMarple :  

I wouldn’t give this sensitive information if it wasn’t one of the possible causes that were told us by the medical advisors. 

I’m just trying to help by sharing a such personal incident we have experienced and just recommend being on the safe side as this actually can happen. I am aware that it’s such a sensitive subject to be giving “information”. Not trying to imply anything but just genuinely sharing.

Post # 58
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

At a party it is soooo easy to just take fake sips and throw it down the sink in the bathroom. 

It would be harder at a civililised sit down dinner…my friend once used the excuse of being hungover!! Completely worked!! I think with the antibiotics one, I would be suspicious…but my friend said ‘I am so hungover and can’t stomach alcohol today’. Worked a treat! 

Post # 59
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I guess the easyness of fake drinking depends on drinking habits. If the group of friends are the type to buy tons of shots, bottle to the table or if everyone just buys their own individually. 

I think the sad part is that not wanting to drink is not ok if someone normally drinks or that people ask about pregnancy. Yes, if notice if friend was not drinking and wonder about it but i would  never ask.

Post # 60
Hostess
3992 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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stillnothing :  What did you end up deciding to do bee?

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